


Cyber

by wagamama_hime



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boundary Pushing, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Explicit Sexual Content, I'm Sure You Get the Drift, Kinks, M/M, Maybe a Wee Bit of Plot in the Beginning, Online Relationship, Phone Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Toys, So Much Dirty Talk, Starts Out Kind of Fluffy & Funny and then Devolves into Shameless Smut, Webcam/Video Chat Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-05 04:57:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 71,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5362256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wagamama_hime/pseuds/wagamama_hime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer is months away from completing his third doctorate when he receives the news he has been (impatiently) waiting for: he's been accepted into the FBI academy. But now that it's been confirmed he'll be moving across the country, Spencer suddenly realizes he won't know a single person when he arrives. On the suggestion of a classmate, Spencer goes online to find "meet up" sites, in the hope that he can make some friends before it's time to move. However, being ever 'popular culture un-savyy,' he gets the word wrong and ends up looking for "hook up" sites instead! Spencer is suddenly thrown into the world of online dating (unbeknownst to him) when he begins responding to messages from someone named "DeManding." Things quickly escalate from friendship to... something more, and Spencer finds himself knee-deep in an unknown, yet shockingly erotic, world. The only thing is... Spencer might actually kind of like it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: Omgz!  I'm back :D haha.  
  
So, just a few quick “announcements” about this fic.  I’m not sure if I can fully call it a “Porn without Plot,” but it’s pretty darn close, haha! I also don’t consider myself a “Romance” writer, so if that’s your sole purpose for reading this fic your needs may not be met.  This story is going to have some kink-exploration (although I guess we all define ‘kink’ subjectively, in any case, so it may be totally "vanilla" to you! :P).  I also wanted to try pushing the envelope a little bit here, some of which involves the fact that this “relationship” is going to have Dom/Sub undertones.  I will unabashedly say I am  _not_  well-versed (or even  _moderately_ -versed) on the topic of the Dom/Sub dynamic, so I’m using the term loosely.  In this fic it’ll mean: Derek likes to tell his partners what to do, and he gets a thrill from being obeyed.  Spencer (discovers that he) likes to be  _told_  what to do, and gets excited by following orders.  Cue kinky s^&*. XD   
  
Also, it should be clear from the description that the focus of this fic is going to be on an  _online_  relationship.  There’s not going to be anonymity or anything like that, but Spencer and Derek will NOT meet until the very end of the story.  This is not a “spoiler,” it’s a guarantee, haha.  Just want to make sure we’re all on the same page here ;p.    
  
I’m pretty excited about this fic, so I hope you guys are too!  

* * *

             Spencer Reid held his breath as he opened his mailbox with trepidation.  For the last two days he had been incessantly checking his mail, in the hopes that he would miraculously receive the letter he had been waiting _months_ for.  Today, when he opened his mailbox, his heartrate sped up as he saw a simple white business-sized envelope.  Quickly pulling the mailing out of the small box, Spencer’s eyes widened as he read the name of the sender:  _Federal Bureau of Investigation_. 

 

            Swallowing nervously, Spencer quickly, yet carefully, tore the envelope open.  Scanning the words on the page quickly (and quickly was an understatement for someone who could read 20,000 words per minute), Spencer couldn’t help the grin that broke out on his face. 

 

            _Accepted_!!

 

            The letter had said he had been accepted.  Amongst all the ‘congratulations’ and the numerous reiterations of ‘we are pleased to inform you,’ Spencer saw his dream starting to take shape.  He had been accepted into the FBI, and he was set to begin boot camp training at the Academy in three months. 

 

            Gripping the letter to his chest as he quickly began walking away from the mailboxes and heading towards his lab meeting, Spencer couldn’t believe how lucky he had been.  He was 21 years old and almost done with his third doctorate.  But even with that, he knew it was extremely rare for someone his age to be accepted into the FBI.  If it had not been for the insistence of Agent Jason Gideon, who he had met during one of the FBI’s recruitment events that Spencer had attended on a whim, he was sure he never would have even gotten an interview.  But, Gideon had apparently called in some favors, and pulled some strings, and the next thing Spencer knew he was being offered an interview.  After that, everything was a blur. 

 

            Walking into the meeting room, the other doctoral candidates in his lab looked up at him, surprised by his tardiness.

 

            “You’re… smiling,” Mackenzie, a fourth-year student with pretty brown eyes and black hair, said as she looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

 

            “That’s rare,” Bryan, the lab’s other fifth year student said as he laughed good-naturedly.  As always, Bryan’s cheeks were dimpled and his blue eyes were sparkling. 

 

            Spencer couldn’t help the small blush that rose to his cheeks at his cohort’s teasing.  He wasn’t very social, in general, but he had definitely become somewhat friendly with the other students in his lab.  And he wanted to share this good news with them.

 

            “Well… I have some exciting news,” he said shyly.

 

            “Ooh! Well, do tell!” Lizzie, a second-year with bright curly red hair and an even brighter personality, said excitedly.

 

            “I just got a letter telling me I’ve been accepted to work at the FBI following graduation,” Spencer announced quietly as he glanced down at his feet.

 

            Gasps and congratulations erupted from the occupants in the room. And Spencer was almost overwhelmed by their effusiveness.    

 

            “Wow! That’s insane,” Bryan said as he immediately got up and patted Spencer on the shoulder.  “We’re so happy for you.”

 

           “Spencer, we didn’t even know you were applying!” Mackenzie said as she gave him a mock glare. “The FBI, though?  That’s really big news.  And… wow.  Just wow.  Never thought you’d be the ‘law enforcement’ type.”

 

            Hearing that, Spencer flinched and hesitantly looked up from his feet to see that she was smiling at him.  Her statement _hadn’t_ been derisive, as he had first feared.  Spencer had always worried that, if he _did_ get in, he would be teased that he wasn’t the “type” of person who could make it in the FBI; that he wouldn’t be able to keep up, or compete, whether physically or professionally.  It wasn’t like Spencer didn’t _know_ (statistically) the type of people who usually gravitated to roles in law enforcement.  Alpha males.  Type-A personalities.  Go-getters. 

 

            But, Spencer wasn’t interested in the FBI because he wanted to shoot a gun or tackle suspects.  He wanted to put his _knowledge_ to use.  And he wanted to do that in a way that would help people.  He had been assured by Agent Gideon that the FBI would appreciate—and _needed_ —a person with his skills. 

 

            “I… I really didn’t think I’d end up someplace like that either, but… Well, I met an agent during an on-campus information session about a year ago and he started talking to me and, well… he made me see that there could be a place for me there.  You know… to um, help people,” Spencer told her, stumbling over his words somewhat.

 

            “No, I totally get that,” Mackenzie said as she patted his shoulder and looked up at him, smiling sweetly.  “I think they will be proud to add you to their ranks, Spencer.”

 

            Spencer smiled back at her.  His attention, however, was interrupted when he felt someone elbow him playfully in the ribs.  Turning he glanced over at Lizzie’s smiling face.

 

            “I’m _really_ jealous, Spencer!  It’ll be so exciting to move to the East Coast.  Especially since you’ll be in such a great city.  Do you know anybody over in the D.C. area?” she asked.

 

            “Oh… No, I don’t,” Spencer said as he furrowed his brow, thinking about this for the first time.

 

            “Hmm… it’s always hard moving to a new city.  It’d be good if you could reach out to some people over there so you know someone by the time you get there,” she suggested.

 

            Spencer frowned.

            “How would I do _that_?” he asked.

 

            “You could try to see if there are any meet-up sites for that area,” Bryan suggested, tentatively.

 

            “Meet-ups?” Spencer asked, eyebrows furrowing again as if the words were foreign. 

 

            “Yeah,” Bryan said with a laugh.  “They’re social events that cater to groups of people who have the same interests.”

 

            It wasn’t lost on the three other graduate students how Spencer’s body had stiffened at the words ‘social events.’ 

 

            “ _But_ ,” Bryan continued as he tried to placate Spencer. “You wouldn’t be actually using the sites to ‘attend’ any events.  Well, at least not yet, since you’ll still be here finishing up the program.  The meet-up sites might help you just get in to contact with people who live in that area, and share your interests, and maybe after talking for a few months  you’ll make some friends.  In any case, you’ll feel like you _know_ someone there before you get there.  And hopefully you’ll want to hang out with them.” 

 

            Spencer looked unconvinced, but he couldn’t deny that there was a certain amount of practicality to Bryan’s proposal.  Spencer was not necessarily a stranger to having to pick up and move to a new place.  He had lived in Las Vegas all his life, and then had left for the first time when he was 12, to start college at CalTech.  It had been a strange experience, but it was _college_ , so it was normal for people to come from all walks of life and there were administrators in place to make the transition easier. 

 

            But he had never had to move for work purposes, and he wondered what it would be like transitioning to the work environment at the FBI.  Spencer didn’t doubt that he would be _qualified_ to stand amongst his colleagues, but would any of them actually want to _talk_ to him? 

 

            Going back over in his mind all the facts he knew about the kinds of people who often worked in these types of government roles—confident, type A, and ambitious people—Spencer started to worry about how difficult it would be for him to make friends.  Add to that the ‘young’ and ‘genius’ factor, and he was sure he would stand out like a sore thumb.  He wondered if people still bullied each other at the professional level…  He didn’t relish the idea of being all alone in a brand new city. 

 

            “So… um… how do I do it?” Spencer asked hesitantly.

* * *

            Four hours later, following more congratulating from his friends, being forced to go out for ‘fro-yo’ after the lab meeting, and quickly calling his mom to tell her of his news (she had been having a ‘not-so-good’ day, and while she had congratulated him, she had warned him not to let the ‘government’ control him), Spencer tiredly walked into his small one-bedroom apartment.  He was thankful that, with the help of grants he had won and prize money from competitions he had entered, he had been able to live on his own by the time he was 16.  

 

            Dorm living had always been… uncomfortable.  Living with a roommate often got him into awkward situations where someone either wanted to take advantage of him (he was used to the old cliché of threatening the ‘nerd’ into doing your homework before he even _got_ to college) or outright ignored his existence.  In all situations, he had been called ‘weird’ more often than he could count.  And Spencer was good at counting.  The painful memory, however, reminded Spencer, _again_ , of what he might face moving to D.C.  It was taking the ‘excitement’ away from him in regard to this great new opportunity.  He didn’t want to let anything ruin it.

 

            So, with a sigh, Spencer sat down in front of his old desktop computer and pushed the ‘on’ button.  Many of his ‘friends’ (and his friends nowadays mostly consisted of the other lab students and some professors he was particularly fond of), always griped to him about how ‘old-fashioned’ he was when it came to technology.  Spencer had never purchased a laptop (he liked taking notes by hand, thank you very much), and the idea of a ‘smart phone’ horrified him. He had had the same sturdy flip-phone for the last 5 years.  And the only reason he had had to replace the one he had gotten when he was getting ready to leave for college, almost 10 years ago, was because he accidentally dropped it while trying to juggle a tray of coffees on the way to lab, and then had stepped on it, decimating it.  His friends, with their smartphones, had to get a new one every year.  

 

            _‘Technology,’_ Spencer thought to himself with a snort. 

 

            Sitting back as the computer worked to slowly bring itself back to life, Spencer thought worriedly about how quickly the next couple of months would pass.  For the past _ten_ years, Spencer had been ensconced in the walls of academia.  And at the same school, no less.  He had become comfortable, even a bit complacent.  Spencer knew this place like the back of his hand.  He had even been in the same apartment for almost six years.  Nothing ever changed.  Now, he would be moving across the country.  He would have a ‘supervisor,’ and teammates.  People would be relying on him.  What if he messed up?  Would there be anyone he could go to when he needed help?

 

            With a sigh, he watched as his desktop loaded and he begrudgingly reached out to the mouse, moving it to the web-browser icon.  _At least I’ll have Agent Gideon_ , he thought dejectedly.  But, he realized as he double-clicked, launching the browser, he couldn’t rely on Gideon _forever_.  He would need to fend for himself.  And this… this attempt to “socialize” and “meet people” was a bit step in that direction.    

 

            “What was it that Bryan said again…?” Spencer wondered to himself as his fingers hovered over the keyboard.  “I need to find a ‘meeting place?’”

 

            He quickly typed ‘D.C. meeting places’ into the Google bar, but frowned as he received quite run-of-the-mill results, most of them having to do with companies and businesses.

 

            “Was it a…?” he trailed off as he nibbled on his bottom lip, trying to remember the evasive word.  “What _was_ it?  ‘Hook-up’ site?”

 

            Spencer almost groaned in frustration as he began to type, half-convinced he’d have similarly unhelpful results.  He didn’t want to have to call Bryan _just_ for something like this.  Besides, he wasn’t sure he wanted Bryan to know he was even taking his advice.  If it didn’t work out—as in, if Spencer was a big failure at socializing, even on the _internet_ —he didn’t want his friends to know that about him.

 

            But, then, after hitting ‘Enter’ his search results were flooded with numerous sites advertising ways to ‘meet’ people, and he knew he had been successful. 

 

            Clicking on the first site he saw, Spencer quickly scrolled down the page, clicking through all the ‘user-agreement’ red-tape.  He was a bit put off by the ‘profiles’ he saw on the front page.  It seemed that everyone was just using their profiles as an opportunity to display their best physical attributes.  And he couldn’t understand all the pictures of girls in exaggerated poses, pursing their lips.  Did they think that was attractive?   Spencer had no idea what this had to do with meeting people with the same interests, but he figured he’d have to filter through the different groups until he found one that suited him.

 

            But, first things first, Spencer had to make a ‘profile.’  It seemed the site required it before it would let him go any further.  It had taken him quite a while to think up a username.  He knew he should try to be clever, but Spencer also didn’t want to be too ‘weird’ and send any potential interested parties running, so he nixed the ‘Tardis-themed’ usernames from the beginning.  Settling on something that he figured would describe him succinctly, he chose ‘Well-Read-Reid.’  Once the site accepted the username and informed him that no one else was currently using that name (Spencer was quite happy to see that), he was then instructed to ‘describe himself.’  

 

            After that, Spencer quickly filled out the text box, detailing his ‘interests’ (he had had quite a bit of fun doing that; he even threw in one of his favorite jokes).  There were a few checkboxes that allowed him to describe his pastimes, political and religious affiliations, how far he had gotten in school, and even his favorite foods (coffee was definitely the first one he checked off).  The site also asked him to specify what he was ‘looking for.’  The drop down for that category was pretty unspecific.  Spencer thought he would be able to specify his personal academic or leisure interests, but it only had four options, so, shrugging, Spencer clicked ‘male-seeking-males.’  He was pretty comfortable around Mackenzie and Lizzie, but, that had taken quite a bit of time.  In general, women made him nervous.  He thought he would have better luck making friends with other guys at this early stage.  At least it would be easier to talk to them. 

 

            The thing Spencer thought was most strange, however, was that that he had to describe his build, including height and weight, hair and eye-color, and ‘physique.’  He had _no_ idea what that had to do with him wanting to find others in the area that enjoyed physics, or science museums, or, even, Doctor Who.  But, he guessed maybe it would be relevant to someone who was a health-nut and was looking for a running partner.  Bryan had said that these types of sites had very particular interest-groups and that there was, _literally_ , something for everyone.  Spencer frowned a bit as he checked off the boxes that related to his physical appearance.  Seeing it laid out like that, he was reminded again that he was ‘too tall,’ and ‘too skinny.’  Shaking his head, he moved on. 

 

            He then obsessed a bit about the fact that they wanted him to post a picture.  Spencer didn’t have very many pictures, and the few he _did_ have, his friends had forced him to take.   He didn’t think he was really much to look at, and he wondered if he posted an unflattering picture would it make someone less likely to want to talk to him?  Flushing, he knew this was a silly thought.  If someone was an intellectual, and looking to meet and speak with _other_ intellectuals, they wouldn’t care that he was gangly and awkward.  Well that’s what he _hoped_ , at least. 

 

            Spencer really didn’t like the idea of ‘putting himself out there,’ especially on the internet.  He didn’t know _who_ the person on the other side was, and he knew, personally, people tended to be a lot meaner when they could do so anonymously.  But, a picture was ‘required,’ so, gulping, he uploaded a picture that Mackenzie had sent to him a few months back.  She had taken it during his last birthday, when his lab had ‘surprised’ him.   Cringing, Spencer remembered that hours _after_ the picture had been taken, he had had to be carted home by his friends, having felt the effects of his 21 st birthday, and thus, his ‘first time drinking,’ a lot sooner than anyone had expected. 

 

            In the picture, he was smiling but he looked a little flummoxed, since he hadn’t been expecting the surprise, or the birthday cake that was sitting in front of him (Spencer had chosen to crop it out for the purpose of posting it to the site).  But both Mackenzie and Lizzie had complimented the picture, telling him it really showcased the color of his eyes and hair, and that he, in their words, looked like an ‘adorable puppy.’   He had blushed when they had told him that, not used to getting compliments, and had decided to keep the picture, instead of deleting it.  He didn’t necessarily want the other site members to think of him as a ‘puppy’ (he had found that term very strange when the girls had used it), but he just wanted them to think he looked _nice_.  In the picture, he was wearing a dark-purple sweater and his black-framed glasses.  He also thought that maybe, for _once_ , he didn’t look like a teenager.  Smiling slightly, Spencer clicked ‘done’ and uploaded his profile. 

 

            He was immediately taken to his account page, where, by briefly skimming the headings, he saw there were areas for ‘notifications’ of when others ‘liked’ his page; a place for him to keep track of his ‘favorites;’ and a mechanism for private messaging.  Spencer doubted he’d have use for any of that at the moment.  First, he had to find where he could go to start talking about the ‘meetings.’  The way Bryan had described it, it was like being surrounded by tons of people who all loved the same things you did.  But Spencer was frustrated that he didn’t see any postings for ‘meetings,’ or even ‘groups.’  All he could see on the main page was line upon line of profiles.  Was _he_ expected to go through every profile to see if someone had something in common with him?  That didn’t seem very efficient to Spencer at all.

 

            Feeling hungry, and somewhat accomplished (he had created his first ‘profile’ on a social networking site!) and defeated (but how come he didn’t know how to _use_ it?) at the same time, Spencer decided he would fix himself something to eat and return to the site after he had had a chance to rest a bit.  It wasn’t like he had to master this _immediately_. He had more than three months before he would be in D.C., and, needless to say, he was suddenly hoping that time didn’t come very soon at all.

* * *

            It was almost 10pm, and Spencer was already in his pajamas, rubbing his eyes tiredly, when he remembered to check the computer. Signing into his email, he was confused to see about 15 emails, ‘notifying’ him that he had messages from the site he had signed up on earlier. 

           

            _That_ was peculiar to Spencer.  He didn’t even get that many emails a day from _school_ , and he was a 5th year graduate student who was in the process of completing his dissertation.  Emails from his advisor, or other committee-members, were to be expected.  This site, however, was a different story.  When Spencer clicked on the first email, all he could see was that someone named “Punisher_69” had sent him a ‘private message,’ but he would have to go to the site to read it.  Clicking through the remaining emails, he saw that _all_ of them said the same thing; they were all just from different users. 

 

            Spencer didn’t know how to feel.  On one hand, he had a strange warm feeling in his gut.  He had never felt so… _popular_.  On the other hand, he was pretty distrustful.  He just didn’t _believe_ that 15 complete strangers would all find him interesting enough to message, after his profile had been up for only about two _hours_.  All Spencer could think was that something must be wrong.  Maybe there had been some sort of glitch or something?  But, Spencer, ever the ‘scientist,’ knew he needed to find out the answers for himself.  So, with a shrug, he clicked the link which would take him back to the site.

 

            As Spencer’s eyes began to quickly rove over the numerous messages, he felt his eyes widen and his face begin to burn with embarrassment.  Spencer might not know much when it came to interpersonal interactions, but he knew enough to know that these messages were _lewd_.  He couldn’t understand what he was reading, and why, of all things, these messages were being sent to _him_.  The messages flooded Spencer’s mind, and he cringed as he read each one:

 

_‘Cute pic, but I’d rather see a pic of your cock.’_

_‘Top or bottom? Because I’d sure love to top you.’_

_‘I love those pretty, cock-sucking lips.  Can I see what you can do with them?’_

_‘Can’t wait to have you bent over, and begging for it.’_

_‘Do you like to be punished?  Or do you want to be a good boy for Daddy?’_

_‘You’re a beautiful boy.  Are you really 21?  You look much younger (but I like that ;})’_

_‘What would it take to get you to come over to my place?  I can pay. **Anything**.’_

_‘You’re so hot.  I would do anything you ask me to.  Make me your bitch.’_

            After having read the majority of the crude offers, Spencer was ready to shut down his computer and, quite honestly, set it on fire, when his eyes landed on the second-to-last message.  Spencer, truthfully, hadn’t even wanted to read that far.  But, with an innate ability to read so fast, his brain tended to read everything even when he wasn’t necessarily conscious that he was doing it.  So, when his brain processed the words in the message from ‘DeManding,’ he had almost already made up his mind that he was going to leave that site and never come back.  But he paused, and read the words again, a bit more slowly this time.

 

            ‘DeManding’ had written: ‘Hey Pretty Boy.  You’re drop-dead gorgeous, do you know that?  And I liked your joke about the existentialists and the lightbulb.  Pretty, and smart, _too_?  My lucky day ;P.’    

 

            Spencer hesitated.  His hand poised on the mouse, hovering over the ‘x’ at the top of the browser, ready to close this site out and never return.  But…The words in that message from ‘DeManding,’ whoever he was… they were… _sweet_.  They made Spencer blush.  And, not out of shameful embarrassment, like the other ones.  But out of… flattery? 

 

            Spencer’s heart was pounding.  He didn’t understand why he had gotten so many downright _offensive_ messages.  He was starting to think that maybe he had signed up for the wrong group.  It couldn’t be just a coincidence that all the messages were of a… ‘sexual’ nature. 

           

            But, then there was the message from ‘DeManding.’  Yes, his message was similar in that he had ‘complimented’ him (if that’s what one could call what the men in the other messages were doing), but DeManding had not been… aggressive.  And it had seemed that he had actually taken the time to go to Spencer’s profile, seeing as how he had commented on Spencer’s existentialists joke.  None of the other men had even bothered to read his profile, it seemed.  So, DeManding was something different.  And Spencer felt that it would only be… proper if he did the man the same courtesy by checking out _his_ profile. 

 

            While Spencer knew that he really had no business clicking on anything on this site (he was still quite shaken up by the messages he had just read), he also couldn’t explain the sense of anticipation he felt as his mouse hovered over DeManding’s icon.  From what Spencer could see of the small image, it was a picture of the man taken so that it purposefully concealed most of his face, but showcased his body.  All Spencer could see from the picture was endless, rich mocha skin and a wide grin with beautiful, straight white teeth, framed by a neatly-trimmed goatee.   The man was wearing what looked to be some type of athletic tank, displaying his muscled arms, neck, and chest.  He had tattoos on each of his biceps, and his biceps were _huge_.  Spencer didn’t _need_ to see his whole face to know that the man was probably ‘drop-dead gorgeous,’ as he had so casually called Spencer.

 

            Sighing, Spencer clicked on the picture, wondering to himself what someone like that was doing calling _him_ ‘pretty.’  He quickly scanned through the man’s profile.  He was 29, lived in D.C., and, apparently had a dog named “Clooney.”  He listed ‘working out’ as one of his top-three favorite pastimes (Spencer was not surprised).  But he also listed reading (Spencer _was_ surprised) and watching movies, with a particular interest in Sci-Fi. 

 

            Humming to himself, Spencer began to click through ‘DeManding’s’ pictures.  The man still made sure to keep his face mostly covered (Spencer couldn’t help but wonder why that was), but all of his pictures made sure to show off his every amazing asset. 

 

            As Spencer flipped through them, one by one, he came across a picture of the man with his eyes squeezed tightly shut, a grin on his face, as a big dog licked his face.  From the angle of the picture it seemed like he wanted the dog to be the focus of the picture more than anything else, and it was clear the man loved his pet. ‘

 

DeManding’ also had a picture of himself, taken from behind, where he looked to be on some running track in a park and was decked out, head to toe, in skintight, black, athletic Lycra.  In the picture he was flexing, one arm raised above his head, the other curled at his side.  Spencer could tell that the man was tall, with sculpted muscles that ran from head to toe.  The tight material left little to the imagination and Spencer found himself pausing to look at it longer than he was exactly comfortable with admitting. 

 

The last picture Spencer saw was of the man with a cap pulled down partway over his face, obscuring his eyes.  Again, Spencer couldn’t help but be disappointed that he couldn’t see him more clearly, but he also couldn’t deny that it was a great picture.  With the cap obscuring everything down to his nose, it forced all of Spencer’s focus on to the man’s lips, which were pulled up into a devilish smirk.  It was… _sexy_ , Spencer thought, with surprise, feeling his cheeks heat slightly. 

 

            Sitting back from the computer, and pondering his options for a moment, Spencer debated what he should do.  He felt, for some reason, compelled to write back to DeManding.  If only to thank him for the compliment, and for reading his profile.  He didn’t feel that ‘compulsion’ to reply to any of the others who had messaged him.  In fact, the only thing he felt _compelled_ to do when it came to those messages was delete them.  And that is exactly what he did, a feeling of immense satisfaction coming over him.  The only message remaining now was the one from DeManding.  Spencer stared at the screen, watching the seconds pass by, unsure of what he wanted to do, but fingers itching to do _something._  

 

            Then, without letting himself think about it for one moment longer, Spencer double clicked on the ‘reply’ button, opening up a message.  As the cursor blinked on the page, Spencer debated over what he should say.  ‘DeManding’ hadn’t really given any impression of what he _wanted_ from Spencer.  Spencer had listed numerous interests in his profile, but other than commenting on Spencer’s sense of humor, the man hadn’t said much else.  More than anything it sounded like he was… _flirting_. 

 

            Spencer flushed at the thought.  It didn’t really make much sense.  That a man—and a man like _that_ , on top of everything else—would be flirting with him… Well, there was a high statistical probability that he was misinterpreting things. _Big time_. Maybe the man was just a secret philosophy buff?  Spencer decided he would try to find out. 

 

            Choosing his words carefully, Spencer responded:

**Well-Read-Reid** :        Thank you for the message.  I’m glad you enjoyed the joke.  Do you like philosophy?

 

            Satisfied that his response was polite, and would set him on the right path to finding people who he could discuss his interests with (Spencer ignored the fact that he found ‘DeManding’ extremely attractive and that he was the complete polar opposite of anyone he had ever ‘hung out’ with, in his life), he logged off the site and shut down his computer.  Heading to his bedroom, Spencer couldn’t help but smile a little as he thought about whether or not ‘DeManding’ would respond.  As he climbed into bed and flicked off the lamp, all he could think was that he sure hoped he _did_. 

* * *

            The next morning, Spencer saw one message already waiting for him.  It read:

           

            **DeManding** has responded to your message: “No, but I like _you_ ;).”

* * *

A/N: Whaa!! I’m gonna have so much fun writing this ;3.  
  
With that said, I'd love to hear your thoughts and whether you are (or are not?) looking forward to seeing more of this fic.  I have a few chapters already written, but probably won't post again for a week or two (it's exams time; what fun! --__--).  However, your thoughts will let me know if I should spend my winter break working on this fic ;p. (Instead of doing research for my thesis D: D: D: D:) lol  
  
xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: And we continue…   

* * *

        Spencer had gone all day without responding to the message.  To be quite honest, he didn’t really know  _how_  to respond to it.  Just thinking about the words again—“No, but I like  _you_ ”—which had even been accompanied by a “smiley” face, made Spencer’s stomach twist in funny ways.He had been flabbergasted that ‘DeManding’ had said something like that.  And, frankly, Spencer had no idea what it _meant_.  So he had pushed it aside and focused on his TA responsibilities, going to lab, and working on a part of his dissertation.

 

            But, now, Spencer was back at home and he had no more ‘excuses’ as to why he should continue to push responding to his messages down to the bottom of his ‘to do’ list.  At this point, everything had been  _done_.  So, with a sigh, Spencer sat down in front of his computer, coffee in hand, and turned it on. 

 

            As he logged into his email, he cringed to see that he had almost 20  _new_  messages from the site since he had checked this morning.  Clicking apprehensively, he allowed the link to take him back to the site and quickly scrolled through the new messages.  Just like last night, the messages contained the same suggestive (and sometimes downright blatant) content, and Spencer found himself clicking ‘delete’ on each message before he had even completed reading the whole thing.  And then, after about five minutes of doing that, he was left with just one message in his inbox.   _DeManding_. 

 

            Biting his lip, Spencer considered what he should do.  How he should  _reply._ What did one say to a man who told him he “liked” him?  Spencer could only imagine that DeManding was saying he found Spencer’s  _profile_  interesting.  Although he, clearly, didn’t share his love of philosophy.  And the one thing Spencer couldn’t deny, in all his musings about how to respond, was that it was  _nice_  to be told that someone liked something about him, even if he didn’t know what that something  _was_.  So Spencer decided that was what he wanted to know.

 

            Double-clicking on the message to open it, he began typing his response.  He barely took note of the flashing green circle next to DeManding’s profile picture that said ‘online,’ as he quickly drafted his message and sent it.   

 

            Sitting back Spencer looked at the screen, and re-read his message as he sipped his coffee:

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        You don’t like philosophy?  That’s a shame.  So, what exactly  _do_  you like about me?  

 

            That couldn’t be misconstrued right?  He had tried to be polite and conversational.  Hopefully DeManding would want to continue responding.  

 

            Spencer was startled when a box popped up on his screen, indicating that someone wanted to initiate a private chat with him, and asking whether or not he wanted to accept.  His eyes widened as he saw that it was  _DeManding_.

 

            “Oh  _man_ ,” Spencer groaned as he set his coffee cup down. 

_Did_  he want to ‘chat’ with DeManding?  He couldn’t believe  _DeManding_  actually wanted to chat with _him_.  That had to count for something, at least.  If the guy really had been just teasing Spencer from the beginning, would he really go to the trouble of private-chatting with him?  With that comforting thought in mind, Spencer hesitantly reached for his mouse and tapped the ‘yes’ button. 

 

 **DeManding** :               Heeeey Pretty Boy!  Happy you finally responded. 

 **DeManding** :               Not gonna lie, I was kinda hurt when you didn’t get back to me.

 **DeManding** :               You know, this site tells you when someone’s read your message ;p

 

            Spencer’s eyebrows rose at that news.  He had  _not_  known that.  But, he kept his fingers off the keyboard as he could see that DeManding was still typing.

 

             **DeManding** :            buuuut, I won’t hold it against you

 **DeManding** :            since it was nice to come home and see that you had written back  _and_ to be able to catch you online.

 **DeManding** :            So… you wanted to know what I like about you? 

 **DeManding** :            Well, that cute smile, for one ;p. 

 **DeManding** :            But I also like that you seem really smart and funny.  A perfect package.

 

            Spencer felt his face heat up as he read those words, and he could only think of one thing to say.  

             **Well-Read-Reid:**        Thanks?

             **DeManding** :               Aww.  You shy? ;p

 

            Spencer flushed and furrowed his brows.

**Well-Read-Reid** :        No, I don’t think so.  Why would you think that? 

 **DeManding** :               You didn’t sound like you believed me when I said you were perfect ;p.

 

            Spencer huffed at that and rolled his eyes.  He wasn’t used to such open flattery and could only believe that the man’s baseline form of communication was to talk in teases and jibes. 

 

 **Well-Read-Reid** :         _No_  one’s perfect

 **DeManding:**               I think you’d be the exception to the rule, Pretty Boy

 

            Spencer blushed again.  What was up with this guy calling him ‘Pretty Boy?’  In any other scenario, Spencer would’ve probably assumed someone was calling him that as an insult.  But, with DeManding, it seemed like he was really using it as a compliment. Smirking to himself, Spencer thought of giving DeManding a taste of his own medicine.

 

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        Well… if anyone should be going by ‘Pretty Boy’ it should obviously be  _you_. 

 **DeManding:** Oh?  I see someone likes my pics, huh?

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        Well, they’re hard to miss

 **DeManding** :               I think  _your_  profile pic is gorgeous.  I only wished you had put up more ;)

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        I don’t take a lot of pictures

 **DeManding** :               Oh? :{  Why not?  You’re too cute to not love the camera, kid.

            Spencer rolled his eyes. 

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        You’d know from personal experience, huh?  You take so  _many_ pictures

 **DeManding** :               haha!  Well, I don’t hear you complaining, do I? I’m sure you wouldn’t have clicked on my profile without them.

 

            Spencer hesitated for a moment.  Well… that was  _true_.  But then a thought crossed his mind.

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        Well, I only have one.  So why’d you click on  _mine_?

 **DeManding** :               One was enough for me to know I wanted to talk to you ;p

 

            Spencer’s face heated up again. 

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        You’re so good at flattery, I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a job that paid you to do it. 

 **DeManding** :               You’re snarky, kid.  I like it. 

 **DeManding** :               But… nope, I don’t get paid to flatter.  It’d be nice though.  Since you know I’m so good at it ;]

 

            Spencer rolled his eyes again, but couldn’t help letting out a light laugh as he leaned closer to the screen, feeling drawn in by the easy back-and-forth between them. “DeManding” was an interesting guy. And even though his carefree nature was irksome, Spencer also found himself wanting to know so much more about him. 

 

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        So what  _do_  you do?

 **DeManding** :               It’s a secret ;p

 

            Spencer narrowed his eyes and huffed.

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        Come  _on_

 **DeManding** :               You first, Pretty Boy

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        Well, I recently found out that I got a job I applied for, so I’m going to be moving to D.C. in a few months. 

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        That’s why I’m on this site.  

 **Well-Read-Reid:** I want to get to know people in the area

 **DeManding** :               Hmm… Interesting way of doing that…

 

            Spencer’s eyebrow arched at that statement, but before he could inquire as to what DeManding meant, another message popped up.

 **DeManding** :               But, congrats on the job kid! 

 **DeManding** :               I could tell from your profile that you’re insanely smart.

 **DeManding** :               I mean,  _three_  PhDs?? Who  _does_  that? 

 **DeManding** :               And here I thought I was something special, but you put me to  _shame_.  Making me look bad over here.            

            Spencer laughed out loud.  He was used to being ridiculed for being a “nerd,” or, at the very least, he got strange looks.  It was refreshing to hear that someone was actually  _impressed_.  But… then again, DeManding didn’t  _know_  him.  Spencer was sure that a part of the reason people thought he was so weird had something to do with his personality.  Thinking that, Spencer frowned.  Shaking his head, he decided he’d rather think about DeManding’s life than his own.

 

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        Well…I told you what I’m doing, now you tell me.

 **DeManding** :               Nuh uh.  You didn’t actually tell me.  You just told me you got a “job.”  What kind of job?

 

            Spencer hesitated at that.  For some reason, he still felt as if something could fall through and his dream could be ripped away from him.  He didn’t want to tell too many people where he’d be working until it actually became a reality. To Spencer, until he set foot in Quantico and began Day 1 of cadet training, he wasn’t really ‘in’ the FBI. 

**Well-Read-Reid** :        Well… it’s working for the government… That’s about all I can say right now.

 **DeManding** :               Ooh, cryptic. 

 **DeManding** :               Now you’ve got me thinking you’ll be working for some top-secret nuclear research facility.

 

            Spencer couldn’t help how his lips twitched in amusement at reading that. 

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        Okay!  So I told you.  Now it’s your turn.

 **DeManding** :               Hmm… let’s just say my work is confidential; think of me as James Bond. ;] 

 

            Spencer huffed again, and tried to stop himself from pouting.  He didn’t like that he wasn’t getting the information that he wanted.  He hesitated for a few seconds before he started his response, feeling a little embarrassed.  It wasn’t in his nature, but seeing as how DeManding liked to send him ridiculous faces—and they had worked, for the most part, to get Spencer to react a certain way—he thought he’d try it too.

 

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        :( That’s not fair

 **DeManding:** Aww, don’t pout, Pretty Boy. 

 

            Spencer blushed and made a conscious effort to wipe the look off his face, wondering if DeManding was some type of mind-reader.   

**DeManding:**               I’m private on this site for a reason. 

 **DeManding** :               It really wouldn’t reflect well if the people I worked with knew I was on here…

 **DeManding** :               I like to keep those things separate.

 

            Spencer frowned.  Did DeManding  _really_  work in some type of high-profile government position?  Spencer really couldn't understand why being on a social networking site would be considered  _that_ "taboo."  Then again, Spencer didn't really have a high opinion of online social activities.  However, Spencer had a low opinion of the internet in  _general_ , and he knew he was pretty much the exception to the rule.  But he couldn’t dwell on those thoughts for long as another message was received right after it.

 

 **DeManding:** But, listen… If we ever meet in person I’ll be sure to tell you all about what I do.  Sound good?

 

            Spencer faltered upon reading that.   Was DeManding saying he had intentions of actually  _meeting_  him some day?  Spencer felt his heart racing a little bit at the thought that he had actually been successful at this whole “online friends” thing. 

 

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        Ok!

 **Well-Read-Reid:** I mean

             **Well-Read-Reid:** Sounds good

 

            He flushed at how ridiculous he was being, but feeling slightly encouraged (and, if he was honest with himself, a bit giddy), Spencer smiled before sending another message.

**Well-Read-Reid** :        Sounds really good actually :)

 **DeManding** :               You don’t know how happy that makes me, kid :))))

 

            Spencer felt himself blushing and he didn’t know why. 

**DeManding** :               Damn, I just got a call from work.  I’m gonna have to take this.

           

            Spencer’s smile fell slightly as he read the words, wondering if maybe DeManding was making an excuse.  It was almost 9:00 in the evening; could he  _really_ be getting a call from work that late?  Had Spencer’s response seemed  _too_  excited and now DeManding wanted him to back off?  But Spencer felt a rush of relief when he saw the next message. 

 

 **DeManding** :               But, believe me. I don’t want to go.

 **DeManding** :               Is it ok if I hit you up again the next time you’re online?

 

            Spencer thought about that for a moment.  Really, he had had a good time chatting with DeManding.  Even though the older man had had him all over the place in their conversation—from amused, to annoyed, to flattered, to embarrassed—Spencer still found himself relaxed and comfortable.  Talking to DeManding had been…  _fun_. So, yes, Spencer definitely wouldn’t mind talking to him again.  If there were more people as friendly and welcoming as DeManding in D.C., Spencer believed he’d have no trouble transitioning. 

 

            The only thing that was strange to him was why it seemed like  _DeManding_  was so eager to talk to  _him_.  But, Spencer had always been taught never to look a gift horse in the mouth.  And, for right now, DeManding had been great. Spencer wasn’t going to turn down an offer for further communication.  So, with a smile, he shot off a final short message before logging off.

 

 **Well-Read-Reid** :        Sure, I’d like that :)

* * *

A/N: Oh my God, if there were “emoticon police” I’m sure they would’ve arrested me by now. I apologize for Derek’s overkill with the winky-faces. But… seriously, Derek is a shameless flirt.  I just imagine he’d be the type to continue to send suggestive messages (especially with someone as rigid as Spencer) until he got the response he  _wanted_. So… yeah, I did it on purpose.  But… sigh, I can’t wait to get them  _away_  from text-only communication.  Yes… at some point things are gonna get  ** _visual_**  ;] (ack! Another winky-face?? The emoticon-police are coming!! D:)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Moving things along...

* * *

            A few days passed like that, with them messaging back and forth for a while after they both had settled in for the night.  ‘DeManding’ had revealed that his name was Derek, and Spencer had introduced himself as well.  Spencer didn’t want to admit to himself that he made a point of being available online when Derek got home from work.  Whatever Derek’s job was, he kept somewhat inconsistent hours.  Some days he’d get home around 5, other days he wasn’t signing in until almost 9pm. 

 

            A few times the topic of their jobs came up again in passing, and at this point it had started to become something of a joke.  Derek and Spencer would make up even more outlandish guesses of what the other’s job was going to be.  Spencer didn’t think he was as good at it as Derek was.  But Derek was good at a  _lot_ of things Spencer wasn’t.  For example, one thing Spencer had learned in their short acquaintance was that Derek was a BIG flirt.   

 

            But even though it had taken a little while for Spencer to not be so startled by Derek’s playful and teasing manner, he now could admit to himself that he actually kind of  _liked_  it.  Derek was so different from what Spencer was used to.  He had really never spoken to someone so confident, while at the same time so relaxed and comfortable with who they were.  And while Derek was the kind of guy Spencer knew he probably would have been terrified of back in high school, he was pleasantly surprised to see that Derek  _hadn’t_  lived up to all his stereotypes about jocks and alpha males.  In the few short days they had known each other, Spencer had already become privy to many aspects of Derek’s softer side. 

 

            Derek was extremely dedicated to his family.  When they had touched on the obligatory questions of background and “where did you grow up,” Derek had dominated the conversation talking about his “Mama” and his two sisters who drove him nuts, but who he would, in Derek’s words, “do anything for.”  Spencer had remained pointedly vague when it came to talking about  _his_  family.  He had briefly told Derek that he didn’t really know his father because his parents had “split” when he was 10.  He wasn’t about to tell Derek that his father had practically just walked out on him and his sick mother.  But, Spencer was sure that Derek easily picked up on the fact that he didn’t want to talk very much about that part of his life.  So Derek hadn’t asked many questions.

 

            But that was also what Spencer really liked about him… this new “friend” of his.  Derek seemed to be really good at  _reading_  him.  He was able to pick up on little nuances and hidden meanings in the things Spencer was saying, and this was just from what he was  _typing_.  Derek had a level of insight that was awe-inspiring to Spencer.  And on top of that, he was just downright intriguing.  Spencer couldn’t quite put a name to what he felt for Derek, but he was so glad he had actually followed Bryan’s advice and signed up for the hook-up site.

 

            As Spencer settled in for the night’s daily chat session, pajamas and mismatched socks on, with a big cup of hot chocolate, he smiled to himself and logged into the website. 

 

            Smile dropping immediately, he sighed in frustration as he saw today’s message count: 23 new messages.  Wincing Spencer quickly clicked select-all, making sure to go back and  _uncheck_  the message thread from Derek, and deleted the host of other unwanted messages.  He was grumbling to himself about what could possibly be  _wrong_  with those people at the same time that a chat box opened up from Derek.

 

            Eyes lighting up, Spencer quickly read the message.

             **DeManding** :               How was your day kid?  Got anything good to tell me?

 

            Spencer sighed, relaxing and smiling contentedly.  He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but hearing from Derek always made something warm bloom inside his chest.  It just felt so good to know that someone was  _thinking_  about him.  And that maybe Derek looked forward to their chats just as much as Spencer did.  Spencer placed his mug down, poised to respond with an obligatory “my day was fine,” when it dawned on him that he should probably ask  _Derek_  why people on the site were so crass.  Derek was his friend now, wasn’t he?  It shouldn’t be weird to ask him… right?

 

**Well-Read-Reid** :        Hi Derek!  My day was fine.  A little busy with research.  But I had a quick question…?

**DeManding** :               Ok, shoot Pretty Boy.

  
            Spencer felt his cheeks warm again.  Derek  _still_  called him that an inordinate amount and he had only seen the one picture of Spencer.  Shaking his head to clear it of the warm fog, Spencer began typing again.

 

**Well-Read-Reid** :        Well… I get these messages.

**Well-Read-Reid** :        Like…  _really_  suggestive messages.  

**Well-Read-Reid** :        And I’m just trying to figure out what it’s about.  Why’re they doing this?

 

            Spencer watched the screen as blinking ellipses appeared, indicating that Derek was “typing,” but it seemed like it was taking quite a lot longer than usual.  So Spencer was a bit surprised by the brevity of the response.

 

**DeManding** :              What kind of messages…?

 

            Spencer blushed.  There was no way he was going to tell  _Derek_  the content of those messages.  Frowning, he responded again. 

 

**Well-Read-Reid** :        I  _told_  you.  SUGGESTIVE

**DeManding** :               Kid, ‘suggestive’ can mean a lot.  You gotta be a little more specific so I understand what you’re talking about.

 

            Spencer huffed a sigh of frustration.  He didn’t think Derek was really that dense, but, on the other hand, he guessed suggestive really could mean a whole host of things.  Spencer really didn’t know.  The messages he had received had been so vulgar he blushed up to his ears.  But it was also possible that  _Derek_ wouldn’t find some of those things as shocking as Spencer had.  Spencer was sure the older man was far more experienced than he was.  So, with a feeling of defeat, Spencer wrote back.

 

**Well-Read-Reid** :         _Sexual_ … things

 

            He watched again as it seemed Derek took an incredibly long time to respond.

**DeManding** :               Okay…

             **DeManding:** Does it make you uncomfortable?

 

            Spencer’s brows furrowed.

**Well-Read-Reid:** Well, of  _course_  it does!  I mean, they’re very  _aggressive_.

**Well-Read-Reid** :         And, well, why are they even  _talking_ about that in the first place??  That’s not what we’re here for!

 

            Again, Spencer saw that Derek appeared to be taking his sweet time in responding and Spencer felt like he was on the verge of ripping his own hair out as he waited.

 

**DeManding** :               Kid, what are you talking about?  Of  _course_  that’s what they’re here for. 

**DeManding** It’s a hookup site.  People are here to… HOOK UP.

**DeManding:** So you’re bound to get some guys who wanna skip the preamble and get down to the nitty gritty pretty quickly

 

            Spencer paused.  He reread the words what felt like five times.  He couldn’t understand what Derek was saying.  Yes, he had joined a “hook up” site.  But wasn’t that what Bryan had said he  _should_  do if he wanted to find people to meet who had things in common with him?  Why would that have  _anything_  to do with him getting sexually suggestive messages?  Why would Derek think he should be  _expecting_  that? 

 

**Well-Read-Reid** :        I don’t understand…     

**DeManding** :               Kid.

**DeManding** :               Please don’t tell me you don’t know you’re on a dating site??

**DeManding:** a  _GAY_  dating site

 

            Spencer’s eyes widened and his lips parted in shock. That was a lot to process. He wished he had been able to say something intelligent and well-thought out, but the only thing he could think of was:

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        Wait! WHAT!?

**DeManding** :               Spencer! Are you joking right now? Because this is  _not_  funny, kid...

**Well-Read-Reid** :        I am 100% absolutely, unequivocally,  _not_  joking!

**Well-Read-Reid** :        Why would I joke about this?? And why do you think I would’ve known this was a  _dating_  site??

**Well-Read-Reid** :        I mean, come on!

**Well-Read-Reid** :        It’s not like  _you’ve_  been talking to me for that purpose, right?

 

            As soon as he hit the enter button, Spencer regretted it.  He hadn’t had time to process it or really  _think_  about what the fact that Derek had been messaging him,  _knowing_  this was a dating site, really meant.  He swallowed hard as he saw the ellipses pop up on the screen again, and began to dread what Derek could possibly say.  Spencer didn’t want to alienate Derek.  He didn’t want him to think he was shunning him or insulting him.  He wanted Derek to keep talking to him.  But this… this sudden news-bomb was a bit too much to handle.

 

             **DeManding** :               Kid, I don’t know what you want me to say…?

 

            Spencer’s pulse quickened as his eyes read over the words again and again.  Was Derek really saying that he… was  _interested_?

 

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        But… you didn’t send me messages like  _that_

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        Derek…?

 

            Again, Derek’s messages were slow to come.  Spencer gripped the desk in front of him, almost in a state of panic, his mug of hot chocolate completely forgotten and growing tepid next to him. 

 

             **DeManding** :               Well… I have to admit that I definitely messaged you because I found you  _attractive_ , Pretty Boy.

 

            Spencer’s eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat.  He was glad when he saw the ellipses indicating that Derek was typing appear again because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to move his fingers to the keyboard to respond, he was that stunned.

 

             **DeManding** :               But…I also genuinely found you really interesting. 

**DeManding:** I had so much fun reading what you would write to me that I guess I just didn’t have time to get around to the

                                              “sexy stuff.”

 

            Spencer didn’t think his eyes could get any wider, but they must have doubled in size when he read that.  He could only thank the gods above that Derek was taking control of the conversation and continuing to write because Spencer really had no idea what he would be able to say in response to that.

 

             **DeManding** :               So…since it was a mistake that you ended up on this site, would I be right to assume you’re not interested in any

                                              boy-on-boy fun?

 

             _That_  almost caused Spencer to have a fit.  He sat back from the screen as soon as he read the words and covered his burning face with his hands.  He couldn’t believe Derek was saying that.  He couldn’t believe Derek was  _attracted_  to him.  And after having gotten to know him, apparently Derek was _still_  interested.   But Spencer had no idea how to  _answer_  that question.  He didn’t consider himself  _gay_.  Well, he didn’t really consider himself  _anything_ , to be honest.  But he didn’t want to hesitate to respond any longer than he already had.  He didn’t want Derek to think Spencer was as shocked by his question as he really was.  His fingers began flying over the keyboard in a flurry of motion, fueled by his rapid thoughts. 

 

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        I believe in the fluidity of sexuality

             **Well-Read-Reid:** Well, what I mean is that I don’t have anything against the idea of homosexuality

             **Well-Read-Reid:**         I mean, I’m not saying  _I’m_  into that

             **Well-Read-Reid:**         I mean, I don’t  _know_.  I’m not actually sure.  I never really thought about it. 

             **Well-Read-Reid:**         But I have nothing against anyone who  _is_

             **Well-Read-Reid:** I don’t think it’s  _bad_ , is what I mean to say

**Well-Read-Reid** :        There are countless biological studies that show that it’s pervasive throughout the animal kingdom.  Innate even.

 

            Spencer knew he was rambling.  He knew he was probably saying the most idiotic things and, most likely, driving Derek further away from him.  But he couldn’t stop the literal word vomit.  He couldn’t stop his fingers from moving on the keyboard.  He was in the middle of typing almost a paragraph-long follow-up message with all the statistical data he could remember off the top of his head (which was practically _everything_ ) when Derek intercepted him.

 

             **DeManding** :               Kid!  Calm down!  It’s ok.  Don’t get so worked up

             **DeManding** :               It’s alright if you don’t want to do this… I won’t be mad.  I understand.

 

            Reading those words caused a spike of panic to slice through Spencer’s gut.

           

             **Well-Read-Reid:**         No!! That’s not what I’m saying.

             **Well-Read-Reid:** I just

             **Well-Read-Reid:** I’ve never really thought about it.

**Well-Read-Reid** :        You know?  Like whether I’m straight or not.  

**Well-Read-Reid:** I’m not opposed to either idea but I just don’t know how to say for sure which I am. 

**Well-Read-Reid:** But I really like talking to you, so I don’t want to stop if you’re still okay with it.

 

            After hitting the enter button, Spencer cringed and clenched his fists, hoping that he hadn’t completely embarrassed himself and that Derek would understand what he was trying to say. 

             **DeManding** :               That’s ok. I’m bisexual, but I think labels don’t really matter.  

**DeManding** :               As long as you’re feeling good and having fun it shouldn’t matter who you’re doing it with. 

**DeManding** :               And I’m having fun talking with _you_. 

 

            Spencer felt a small smile come to his lips, feeling a sudden weight lift off his shoulders.  Derek wasn’t  _mad_  at him.  He didn’t want to stop talking to him.  

           

             **DeManding** :               But, kid… I made it clear what I’m here for.  And I’m still interested in you.  Like "that."  

**DeManding** :               So if you think that’d make you uncomfortable, you gotta let me know upfront. 

**DeManding** :               Cuz maybe this isn’t such a good idea

             **DeManding:** You know… for us to keep doing this thing.

 

            Spencer bit his lip in consternation.  He understood what Derek was asking him.  He wanted to know if Spencer would  _allow_  him to pursue him… to express his “interest” now that he knew that was what Derek really wanted.  Spencer had been being honest when he said he hadn’t given much thought to his sexuality.  He would probably define himself as straight but he knew that was just because that was what he imagined was the default answer; what people  _expect_  you to be.  But he really didn’t know. 

 

            Before now no one, of either sex, had actually shown him all that much legitimate attention.  Short of play-dating back in elementary school, when he had still been in school with kids his own  _age_ , he had never had a girlfriend (or a  _boyfriend_ , he thought with a blush).  He had never even been on a date.  He had become so wrapped up in school over the past 10 years—basically throughout his entire adolescence—that interacting with anyone on a romantic level had just never been a priority. He had never given it much thought.  It was something he just “didn’t know,” and it had always been a non-issue to Spencer.  

 

He doubted he'd have any epiphanies as to his true feelings on the matter in one night.  But, the one thing he  _did_  know was that talking to Derek made him feel good.  Something inside him always throbbed pleasantly whenever Derek called him “Pretty Boy;” he was always anticipating their talks; and his heart often raced whenever Derek said something sweet or teasing. And for right now, that was good enough for Spencer.          

 

            Swallowing nervously, Spencer began to type.

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        I think I don’t mind if we keep talking like how we’ve been talking

             **Well-Read-Reid:** Even with knowing that you feel that way.

**Well-Read-Reid:**         I think maybe I kind of  _like_  that you feel that way

             **Well-Read-Reid:**         Or, I guess I mean that it makes me feel good that you feel that way about me

             **Well-Read-Reid:**         And I think I’d be willing to, you know…

             **Well-Read-Reid:**         I guess see if I could feel that way too?

             **Well-Read-Reid:**         I really really like talking to you, Derek

             **Well-Read-Reid:** I like _everything_ about talking to you

 

            Spencer was blushing by the time he had finished typing.  That was admitting more than he was even comfortable saying (typing) out loud.  He knew that the thought of Derek made him feel all warm and giddy.  But it was so  _embarrassing_  admitting that to someone else.  But he needed to let Derek know he didn’t want to stop this… whatever  _this_  was. 

 

             **DeManding** :               Spencer, I’m really glad to hear that.  I really really like talking to you, too, Pretty Boy ;p

 

            Spencer couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on his lips and the small laugh that bubbled out of his throat.  Derek and his  _stupid_  smiley faces.  But, now, Spencer didn’t know what to say.  It was obvious that  _something_  had shifted between them.  Neither one of them had made any promises or, really, any real declarations of “feelings.”  They had only agreed to continue their conversations with the knowledge that, moving forward, things weren’t going to be just “platonic.” 

 

            But now Spencer felt even more self-conscious than before.  His mind was whirling, going a mile a minute, thinking back through all their past conversations.  He was trying to figure out if Derek had made it obvious that he “liked” him; that his intentions were romantic and not just friendship.  A few minutes passed by as Spencer became further entrenched in his thoughts, and he was thankfully dragged back to the present when he heard a ding come from his computer.  Derek had written back during the lull.

 

             **DeManding** :               Hey, kid.  I have an idea…

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        Yeah?

             **DeManding** :               Yeah.  You got a webcam?

           

            Spencer’s brows furrowed.   _A webcam?_  He thought to himself.  He really had no idea.  But he couldn’t really understand what Derek wanted to know that for.

 

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        I don’t know if I have one.  But why?

             **DeManding** :               Because I want to  _see_  you, obviously :P. 

**DeManding** :               I think after this “talk” we just had, it’d be better if we finally met face to face.  Wouldn’t you like that?

 

            Spencer blushed at that, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. He hadn’t thought about that.  Well, he had  _thought_  about it—the idea of meeting Derek in person, months from now.  But the idea that he could see him now, today, this  _moment_  hadn’t crossed his mind.  And now that the seed had been planted, yes, yes he wanted to see Derek.  Badly. 

 

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        Well, ok.  I don’t know if I have one… how do I find out? 

             **Well-Read-Reid:** We could do it if I have one.  I just don’t know how.

             **Well-Read-Reid:** But I’ll look.  And if I don’t have one, I think I can get one?

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        Sorry, I don’t really know how these things work

             **DeManding** :               Pretty Boy, I can’t wait to see you in person.  I can just imagine how cute you look right now. 

 

            Spencer furrowed his brows in confusion, bottom lip tucked between his teeth, as he tried to figure out what Derek was talking about.  But, instead of giving him too much time to process it, Derek began to instruct him on how to determine if he had a webcam or not.  To Spencer's great relief, apparently his “archaic” desktop computer  _had_  come with a built-in webcam.   Spencer had to install a multitude of drivers since the webcam hadn’t been used since the computer had been purchased, but as he finally saw the green light come on at the top of his screen, he couldn’t help grinning in anticipation.

 

             **Well-Read-Reid:**         Derek, the light that you mentioned came on!

 

            Spencer watched as a picture of himself appeared on his computer screen and his eyes widened.  He was in his pajamas, hair looking tousled and, frankly, insane.  He didn’t know what Derek would think of him if he were to see him like this.  He suddenly began to regret having agreed to this, and wondered if he could maybe postpone it, but Derek was already typing him back.

 

             **DeManding** :               Great! I’m sending you a video chat request!  Make sure you accept it. 

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        Wait, Derek!

             **Well-Read-Reid:** Maybe we should do this another time…

             **Well-Read-Reid:**        it’s late and I look kind of…

             **Well-Read-Reid:** Well, maybe it’s just not the best time for us to see each other

             **Well-Read-Reid:** You know, for the “first” time?

 

            Spencer continued to chew on his bottom lip as he anxiously awaited Derek’s response, and when he saw what the older man wrote he felt his cheeks start to burn.

             **DeManding** :               Spencer, don’t be ridiculous. 

             **DeManding:**                No matter what you look like, you’d still be gorgeous to me

             **DeManding:**                I’m so into you right now that you could be covered in chicken feathers and I wouldn’t even care ;p

             **DeManding** :               Come on, baby.  I was so excited that I’d get a chance to see you. Don’t make me wait another day.

 

            Spencer’s eyes widened as he read that word.   _Baby_.  He had called him “baby.”  What was it about just that one word that had warmth pooling in Spencer’s stomach and his body tingling all the way down to his toes?  He couldn’t believe it.  And this was just what Derek did to him when he was  _typing_.  Spencer suddenly wondered what it would be like once he actually heard Derek’s voice _._

 

             **DeManding** :               Come on, sweetness.  Let me see you. 

**DeManding** :               I want to see you when you blush. 

**DeManding** :               I’m sure you blush all over.  

**DeManding** :               You don't know how badly I've been wanting to see that

           

             _That_  made Spencer blush up to his roots, and gathering his resolve he began to type back.

           

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        If I agree will you stop  _saying_  stuff like that??

             **DeManding** :               Haha! Is it making you blush? ;p

           

            Spencer hesitated for a moment before rolling his eyes and smiling slightly.

           

             **Well-Read-Reid** :        yes! :{  Now stop it!

             **DeManding** :               Accept my request then, Pretty Boy

 

            Sighing, Spencer looked on as the request popped up on his screen again.  Taking a deep breath, he clicked accept.  He waited patiently for the webcam to connect.  And when it finally did, Spencer was  _floored_. 

 

             _Derek_  was gorgeous.  The man had no business calling Spencer—awkward, too-tall, too-skinny, bumbling  _Spencer_ —gorgeous.  Spencer was sitting there in his gray pajamas, with his messy hair and his  _glasses_  (he had forgotten to take off his glasses!).  And, Derek… Derek was majestic.  He was sitting in what looked to be a lamp-lit bedroom, from what Spencer could make out behind him.  He was wearing a black v-neck t-shirt that clung to his muscles and bulged when he moved. 

 

            As soon as their eyes met, Derek grinned, eyes lighting up.  And Spencer felt himself take in a big gulp of air.  Derek’s eyes were the part of him that Spencer had been most anticipating seeing and they didn’t disappoint.  They were beautiful and dark, crinkling around the corners as he smiled at Spencer.  And then there was  _Spencer_ , who looked nothing like the kind of person someone like Derek would ever want.  Thinking that, Spencer’s eyes fell as he became even more self-conscious. 

 

            But then Derek  _whistled_ , drawing Spencer out of his harrowing thoughts. 

 

            “Pre-tty  _boooy_ ,” he heard a deep, almost chocolate-smooth voice, say.  And he looked up, to catch Derek giving him a silly grin.  A grin that made Spencer’s heart burst into a million pieces.  He couldn’t help but to smile in return.

 

            “There’s that smile!  That’s what I wanted to see,” Derek said, chuckling softly.

 

            Spencer couldn’t help the blush he felt forming on his cheeks, as he looked down bashfully.

 

            “Isn’t this better than just typing everything out?  At least now we know we are who we say we are,” Derek said.

 

            Spencer bit his bottom lip as he looked at the smiling man.

 

            “And… you’re not disappointed…?  You know, now that you’re seeing me for real?” he asked tentatively.

 

            He watched as one of Derek’s eyebrows arched in confusion.

 

            “Are you kidding me?  Why would I be disappointed?  It’s even better than I thought it’d be,” Derek said with a wide smile.

           

            “And what about you,” Derek continued, lips quirking up into a playful smirk.  “Not disappointed, I hope?”

 

            Spencer rolled his eyes and laughed as he sat back, feeling immediately more comfortable.  This was almost exactly like how they had spoken online.  It felt natural.

           

            “I highly doubt you really need an answer to that question, and I’m not going to sit here and stroke your ego, Derek,” Spencer said.

 

            “Why?  Is there something else you’d rather be stroking?” Derek asked with a wink.

 

            Spencer’s eyes widened as he scoffed, unable to find it within himself to even be offended.  Derek was—and apparently always would be—a massive flirt.  It was par for the course.  So Spencer just shook his head and laughed, refusing to answer the question.

           

            “So…Spencer, something’s been bothering me for a while,” Derek said as he leaned in closer, seeming as if he was a bit hesitant to voice his thoughts.

 

            Spencer raised an eyebrow.

            “Yeah?  What?” he asked, confused.  

           

            “How old did you say you were again,” Derek asked, squinting at him somewhat exaggeratedly.

 

            “Um…21, why?” Spencer asked.

 

            Derek sighed.  

           

           “Cuz, kid, you look  _really_  young.  Like, illegal-young, so it’s making me kind of nervous,” he admitted.  

 

            Blinking in surprise, Spencer couldn’t help but laugh.  Derek couldn’t possibly be  _serious._           

 

            “So, what, you want to see my ID or something?” Spencer asked, flippantly. 

 

            “Yeah, actually,” Derek admitted a bit sheepishly as he shrugged.

 

            Spencer stared at him in disbelief. But when he realized Derek was looking at him expectantly, as if waiting to see his “proof” of age, Spencer let out a huff and pushed away from the desk with his feet, wheeling his chair slightly backward.

 

            “Fine. I’ll be right back,” Spencer said as he got to his feet.  “But I really can’t believe you think I’m  _that_  young!”  

 

            Spencer moved away from the screen as he started to rummage through his things, looking for his ID, hoping to find it as soon as he could.  Spencer wasn’t the most  _organized_ person and his search started by turning his satchel upside down and allowing the contents to topple out.  That also resulted in him getting down on his hands and knees to search amongst the folders, papers, and other clutter that had spilled out on to the floor. 

 

            “Well… Can you really blame me?  You’re already way too young to have all the degrees you have.  You know, with the whole “child prodigy” thing.  And you can’t sit there and tell me you don’t know you  _look_ young.  I mean, kid, if you’re trying to convince someone maybe you should consider growing a beard,” Derek’s amused voice sounded from the computer.

 

            Spencer rolled his eyes but let out a small sound of triumph when he finally came upon his ID.  Pushing himself to his feet, Spencer made his way back over to the desk.  He let Derek watch on quietly as he fiddled around with the small piece of plastic, before holding it up to the screen. 

 

            Spencer waited patiently as Derek read the information on his license.  It was his ID from Las Vegas, and the picture actually hadn’t been updated in almost 4 years (so Spencer was sure he looked even younger on it than he did  _now_ ), but at least it had his age on it.  Spencer had made sure to cut little pieces of post-it paper to stick over the other irrelevant information.  He knew he trusted Derek but he really didn’t  _know_  him, so it was best to be cautious in the beginning.  

 

            Finally seeming satisfied once he had read his fill, Derek sat back and let out an exaggerated sigh of relief. 

 

            “Are you convinced  _now_ , officer?” Spencer asked sarcastically. 

 

            “Yes, yes,” Derek said as he held his hands up in surrender and laughed.  

 

            “And now I know to remember that October 9th’s a very special day,” he continued with a wink.

 

            Spencer blushed upon realizing Derek meant his  _birthday_ , but then he frowned as he sat back and crossed his arms over his chest.

 

            “Okay, now you,” Spencer said.

 

            “Now me what?” Derek asked.

 

            “Your ID.  I showed you mine, now you show me yours,” Spencer said matter-of-factly.   

           

            “Ohh, is that the game we’re going to play?  Well there’re lots of different things I’d rather have you show me,” Derek almost purred.

 

            Spencer shook his head in exasperation, trying to will away the burning sensation in his cheeks.  But he was steadfast in ignoring Derek’s suggestive flirtations. 

 

             “Come on, Derek.  I have no idea if you are who you say you are, or that, you know, you’re not an extremely well-aging 65 year old,” Spencer said, eyes twinkling with mirth. 

 

            He laughed as Derek stuck his tongue out at him. But he was pleased to see that the older man had given in as he watched Derek scoot back to fish around in his wallet.  Pulling the ID out, Derek held it up to the camera, fingers blocking out everything but his date of birth.  Spencer studied it carefully before he sat back and smiled.  

 

            “So… you’re 30, hmm,” he said with a smirk, which turned into a giggle as he watched Derek grab at his heart as if wounded by his words.

 

            “ _Almost_  30, kid; it’s not real ‘til it’s real,” Derek corrected him.

 

            “Well… there’re only about 4 more months until June, Derek so… proportionally you’re closer to 30 than you are to 29,” Spencer said with a playful shrug. 

 

            Derek just shook his head and pouted at the screen. 

 

            “But um…” Spencer began, hesitantly.  “I should be in D.C. by then so maybe we could do something to celebrate… But only if you want, I mean.”

 

            As soon as the words left Spencer’s lips, he felt extremely self-conscious. He had only known Derek for a couple of  _days,_ and now was the first time he was even talking to Derek in person.  What right did he have to invite himself into this man’s life and practically commandeer his birthday?  But then Derek was speaking and it cut into Spencer’s racing thoughts.

 

            “That’s a great idea, kid.  And I can help you get acquainted with the area… You know, show you the ropes and things,” Derek said as he smiled warmly. 

 

            “That sounds good,” Spencer said, beaming at him. 

 

            Derek chuckled.

 

            “I really love it when you do that, you know?” Derek said, voice sounding a bit deeper than Spencer had heard so far.

 

            “Do what?” Spencer asked in confusion.

 

            “Smile for me like that.  You really light up a room, kid,” Derek said.

 

            Spencer felt his breath stutter in his chest at Derek’s words, and felt himself floundering like a fish to try to think of something to say in return.   

 

            “Derek… I don’t know why you say that kind of stuff to me,” Spencer mumbled once he finally found his voice again.

 

            “Because it’s the truth.  Don’t overthink it.  Just accept that I mean the things I say and that’s really how I think about you.  Even if you might not think that way about yourself.  I’m happy to do all the praising for you,” Derek said with a wink.

 

            Spencer laughed.

 

            “Well… thanks, I guess,” he said. 

 

            “Oh, damn,” Derek said as he glanced down at the corner of the screen. 

 

            “What is it?” Spencer asked.

 

            “It’s almost 11:00.  I didn’t even know it was that late,” Derek said.

 

            Spencer was surprised too.  He had been talking to Derek for more than two  _hours_. 

 

            “I don’t want to keep you up too late, Pretty Boy.  So, I think we should call it a night, for now.  But… I liked this.  How about we keep doing the video thing, huh?  Same time and place tomorrow?” Derek asked hopefully.

 

            Spencer grinned.  Of course he wanted to do this again.  Derek had practically wiped away all his fears and hesitations with one big smile.  Derek was nothing like what Spencer had expected him to be.  And Spencer would be in denial if he said he didn’t look forward to talking to Derek every day.  It was something he knew he could easily get used to.

 

            “Sure!  It’s a date,” Spencer said with a smile. 

           

            Spencer already knew his nervousness and anxiety about moving to D.C. were gone.  Now, he felt like he was almost counting down the days. 

* * *

A/N: Aww, Spencer.  Gotta love the beginning stages of infatuation! :3  See you next time, my doves!  

xoxo 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks so much for everyone's kind comments!! I’m posting now because I want to give you guys a little treat 'before' the New Year (well, 5 minutes before the New Year, and on the US East Coast, so I'm sure some of you may have had the "New Year" for a while)!  As for the actual chapter content: prepare yourselves. From here on out things are going to devolve into shameless smut, haha. Oh well, I’m guessing that’s what you’re here for anyway ;p.

* * *

Talking to Derek every night quickly became the highlight of Spencer’s days.  No matter how frustrating or tedious his day had been, coming home to Derek’s smiling face and his deep, warm chuckle never failed to put Spencer at ease.  Spencer couldn’t really decide if he should read anything in to how much he liked talking to Derek.  He had no idea know how things like these _went_.  And by ‘things like these’ Spencer meant _relationships_ , and “liking people,” and “attraction,” and all the other completely baffling types of things that ‘feelings’ entailed.  Derek had been good at not being particularly forceful with his interest, but Spencer still felt that Derek was genuinely happy to talk to (and see him) every night.  The attention and praise left Spencer with a constant warm glow in the pit of his chest. 

 

They had been video-chatting for almost a full week now, and Spencer had quickly become comfortable with it.  In fact, he loved it.  Derek never made him feel awkward or self-conscious.  Well, he did make him feel a bit self-conscious, but not in a _bad_ way.  In actuality, Derek made Spencer feel hyper-aware of himself.  His heartrate was always elevated, his cheeks always flushed, and he found himself tripping over his words in an effort to respond to Derek’s flirtations.   Spencer always wanted to try to flirt back, but often lost the courage before the words could leave his lips.  He was mostly just concerned he wouldn’t say the right thing.  But, Derek seemed to be able to tell that Spencer didn’t dislike his teasing and flirtatious ways because his eyes always twinkled with mirth after Spencer got a bit tongue-tied, as if he was happy he had achieved that “result.” 

 

Now, sitting down in front of the computer, Spencer made a promise to himself that he was going to try to show Derek that he was happy as well.  Happy he had met Derek; happy that he had taken the risk; and happy that he was starting to really _feel_ something for the older man.  Spencer wasn’t shying away from it, to his surprise.  He still didn’t know if he could really think about Derek and himself in a _sexual_ sense (even _thinking_ about thinking about it made him blush and feel embarrassed), but he definitely thought he probably “liked” the man.  And that was a revelation in and of itself.

 

Spencer had to hold back a bit of a giggle as that thought really hit him.  He _liked_ Derek.  Blushing, Spencer sighed as he logged on to his computer.  It was minutes to 9, but Derek had told him he wouldn’t be available before then because of something that was going on at work that was keeping him there late over the past week, so they had scheduled to meet at that time.

 

As Spencer turned on his webcam and logged into the app Derek had asked him to download, he was happy to see that Derek was already “online.”  Spencer really appreciated that Derek had suggested they move off the “hookup” site since Spencer wasn’t really looking to meet other guys and he was still getting a ton of suggestive emails. Spencer flushed again in embarrassment at how silly he had been to have gotten the words messed up in the first place, but he had to admit that it was a pleasant mistake since he had ultimately ended up meeting Derek. 

 

Double-clicking on the button to initiate the chat, Spencer was happy when, within a few seconds, the chat was accepted.

 

“Pretty Boy!” Derek said with excitement, as soon as the video footage popped up, giving Spencer a wide grin. 

           

Spencer beamed, butterflies always flooding his stomach when Derek called him that.  He waved at Derek, somewhat shyly, wondering what the man was up to.  Derek was standing behind his computer desk, in a black t-shirt and what looked like lounge pants, with a towel around his shoulders.

 

“Um… am I… interrupting you?” Spencer asked as he motioned to Derek’s attire.   

 

“Nope, not at all.  We actually wrapped up the case we were working on today, and I was able to come home a little earlier than usual, so I went for a run with my dog and just got out of the shower a few minutes ago,” Derek informed him. 

 

Spencer nodded silently, watching on as Derek sat down at the desk.  But then a smirk made its way to Derek’s lips and Spencer already knew he was going to say something unnecessary.

 

“You have my full permission to imagine me in the shower, by the way,” Derek said with a wink. 

  

Even though he had been preparing himself, Spencer’s face still flushed while his mouth opened and closed as he floundered for something to say.  Ultimately, he settled with a chastising-sounding exclamation of, “Derek!!”

 

Derek just laughed, clearly feeling in no way reprimanded by Spencer’s tone.  Spencer rolled his eyes and settled back, already feeling the familiar comfort settle in. 

 

“So how was your day?  Well, besides spending way too much time thinking up that “shower” line to say to me,” Spencer said pointedly.

 

Derek laughed as he grinned.

 

“You’re right, that was probably the highlight of my day.  I’m never going to pass up a chance to see you blush, baby,” Derek said as he smiled at Spencer, eyes roving him up and down and becoming a bit more heated.

 

Spencer swallowed inadvertently, feeling scrutinized under Derek’s gaze, and tugged his bottom lip into his mouth self-consciously. Derek’s heated look intensified, but he seemed to take a breath before he sat back and gave Spencer a more friendly, as opposed to predatory, smile.

           

“My day was good.  Like I mentioned, the case I was working on got resolved a lot quicker than my team expected, and with pretty much no adverse effects, so I would definitely consider it a win.  But, even if that hadn’t been the case, coming home knowing I was going to get to see my Pretty Boy would’ve made it a good day in any case,” Derek said as he grinned at him, causing Spencer to laugh.  

 

“Oh, is that so?” Spencer asked as he rolled his eyes. 

 

“You know it,” Derek said.

 

“What I _know_ is that you like to flirt,” Spencer said with a huff, but there was no actual heat behind his words.  In fact, Spencer quite liked hearing that seeing him could make Derek’s day better.  It made Spencer feel less weird about how _he_ reacted to the thought that he would get to see Derek every night. 

 

“So how was _your_ day, kid?” Derek asked.

 

“Hmm…” Spencer said as he looked up in thought, nibbling on his lip as he tried to think about what to tell Derek first.  But Derek interrupted him before he had a chance.   

 

“Kid,” Derek said on a long exhale as he sat back and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “You gotta give me a break if you want me to be able to get through this call.  We’ve only been talking for a few minutes and you’ve already been relentlessly teasing me.”

 

Spencer’s brows furrowed in confusion.

 

“What do you mean…?  I haven’t been ‘teasing’ you,” Spencer said, worrying that he had done something wrong. 

 

Derek lowered his hands from his eyes and gave Spencer a look that caused him to tremble.  Derek’s eyes looked molten.

           

“You _have_ been teasing me, Spencer. You’re always biting at your bottom lip and licking your lips.  It makes me think dirty thoughts,” Derek purred with a smirk.

 

Spencer inhaled sharply, eyebrows shooting up and cheeks burning.

 

“Derek!!” he exclaimed.

 

And all that did was cause Derek to laugh.  Spencer frowned a bit, wondering if Derek was having fun at his expense.  He could never really tell when Derek was being serious.  Sure, Derek had said early on that he was “attracted” to Spencer, but most of the time their conversations were purely friendly.  Spencer didn’t quite know what to do when Derek flirted like _this._  To say that he was making Derek think “dirty thoughts,” well… Spencer was a bit caught off guard by the implications of that. 

 

“Hey, Pretty Boy, why don’t we try something different tonight,” Derek said, his smooth voice breaking Spencer out of his musings.

 

Looking back up at the screen, Spencer felt his heart stutter in his chest again.  Derek still had that sultry look in his eyes.  It made Spencer feel nervous.  Kind of like his insides were twisting around and he was warm all over.  He even felt like he had to stop himself from fidgeting under Derek’s gaze.  It was a feeling Spencer wasn’t very used to, but he had only ever really felt this way around Derek. 

 

“Wh-what do you want to try?” Spencer asked quietly.

 

Derek smiled again.

 

“I want you to take your shirt off,” he said simply.

 

Spencer’s eyes widened and he quickly shook his head.

 

“No.  No way.  Why… why would I do _that_?” he asked.   

 

Derek chuckled.

 

“Because I asked you to?” he said as he waggled his eyebrows at Spencer.  “And besides, what’s the big deal?  It’s just like going to the beach.  Come on, Pretty Boy.” 

 

Spencer shook his head again, this time raising his arms to make an x-like mark in front of him.

 

“That doesn’t make me any more willing to do it, Derek.  Besides, I wear t-shirts when I’m at the beach.  And it’s not like my chest looks anything like _yours_ ; I’m all skin and bones.  If anyone should be taking their shirt off it’s _you_ ,” Spencer said in a huff. 

 

“You know what, you’re totally right,” Derek said as he got up and quickly shrugged off his fitted black tee and tossed it somewhere behind him. 

 

Spencer stared in disbelief as he took in Derek’s sculpted pectorals and abs and the way that his tattoos stood out against the bulging skin. 

 

“Well, Pretty Boy?  Didn’t we say ‘I show you mine, you show me yours?’” Derek asked as he winked suggestively at the stunned younger man and reseated himself in front of the computer.

 

Spencer blushed as he frowned at the image on the screen.  This all just seemed so… _indecent_.  Spencer didn’t know how he had gone from a pleasant chat about how their days had gone to staring at a half-naked Derek on his computer screen. Spencer couldn’t deny that there was something somewhat _exhilarating_ about the whole thing, but that didn’t mean it was “ok.”  And it also didn’t mean he was going to _tell_ Derek how exciting he found it either.  But… seeing Derek sitting there looking at him expectantly, well… it made Spencer feel desired. So, taking a big breath, Spencer steeled his resolve.

 

“I-I just really don’t see what you’d get out of seeing me shirtless,” he mumbled as he began to unbutton his cardigan. 

 

Derek watched on interestedly as Spencer cast his eyes down and fumbled with the buttons to his gray sweater.  Even though Spencer seemed not to realize it, the way he blushed so easily, nibbled on his plump lips absentmindedly, and averted his eyes shyly sent a shock of lust to Derek’s groin and triggered his inherent alpha male.  He wanted to push Spencer’s hands away and take that shirt off _for_ him, but for now he would wait.  Or, more accurately, he had no _choice_ but to wait: he was more than 2000 miles away.

 

Once the seemingly complicated task of unbuttoning the cardigan had been surmounted, Spencer shrugged the soft material off and quickly moved his hands to the hem of his undershirt, pulling it up and off before he had a chance to lose his nerve.  As soon as the shirt was off, however, and he could feel the coolness of the air in the room on his bare skin, he immediately felt self-conscious and loosely crossed his arms over his chest.  All Spencer could think was how bony and undefined his chest was.  It was nothing like Derek’s.    

 

“Aw, come on, Pretty Boy.  Don’t be shy.  Trust me, I’m liking what I’m seeing already,” Derek purred. 

 

Spencer blushed hotly. 

 

“This is so… _embarrassing_ ,” he whined. 

 

“Why?” Derek asked, and Spencer looked up, surprised to hear something a bit darker… a bit breathless in Derek’s tone. 

 

When his eyes met Derek’s Spencer’s mouth went dry and his heart began to pound in his chest.  The way Derek was looking at him… it was almost _predatory_.  And it made warmth pool unexpectedly in Spencer’s groin.  He had to stop himself from squeezing his thighs together.  He didn’t want Derek to see him squirming. 

 

“Come on,” Derek said, smiling at him seductively.  “Let me see you.” 

 

Spencer still had a hard time believing Derek could actually find what he was seeing appealing, but he couldn’t deny that the heated look Derek was giving him seemed _real._ Taking a deep breath, Spencer trembled as he slowly unfolded his arms and placed his hands on top of the desk.  He couldn’t look Derek in the eyes, but he was at least willing to let Derek look his fill. 

 

“Gorgeous,” Derek breathed out. “Your skin’s so pale, just like milk, baby.  And look at those perky little nipples.”

 

“Oh my _God_ , Derek!” Spencer wailed as he raised his hands and brought them up to cover his aforementioned nipples, practically mortified.    

 

Derek chuckled softly.

 

“Aww, no, don’t hide them from me!” he complained.

 

“It’s _too_ embarrassing. I can’t do this,” Spencer said, as he began looking around for his discarded undershirt.     

 

“Okay, okay, calm down kid,” Derek said, voice coming out in a breathy laugh.  “I won’t make you do anymore, but, seriously, believe me when I say that that was incredibly sexy.”

 

Spencer paused in his search to look back up at the screen, and met Derek’s eyes. 

 

“Really,” Derek said again, giving him a sincere smile.

 

Spencer let out a sigh, but visibly relaxed as he continued looking for his shirt.  When he found it he pulled it on, and gave Derek a small smile.

 

“There’s that smile.  I’m happy to see it.  That wasn’t that bad, was it, Pretty Boy?” Derek asked as he leaned forward, grinning at Spencer.

 

Spencer blushed as he saw Derek’s impressive muscles bulge, and tried to avert his eyes.  While Derek asking Spencer to take his shirt off had obviously been for Derek’s benefit, Spencer had to also be honest with himself that he was getting something out of it too.  Derek was really really attractive.  

 

“Um… I mean, I guess not?  But… aren’t _you_ going to put your shirt back on now?” Spencer asked.

 

Derek laughed as he sat back and purposefully flexed his right bicep.

 

“Nah, being shirtless doesn’t bother me.  And, really, I’m practically fully-dressed,” Derek said, grinning at him.  “Why… is it distracting to you?”

 

Spencer gave him an unimpressed look.

 

“Well, now knowing you like it so much, feel free to look your fill,” Derek said.  

 

Spencer shook his head, and looked away again, in an attempt to do the opposite of what Derek had just suggested.  Spencer didn’t know why seeing Derek’s bare chest was having such an effect on him.  Of course he had a good idea of what Derek’s muscles looked like; the guy seemed allergic to loose-fitting shirts.  But, this was different.  Seeing Derek like that—bare-chested and sitting in his lamp-lit bedroom—made the scene feel so much more intimate.  And Spencer couldn’t help his mind from wondering what it would feel like to be held by those arms.  To be there _with_ Derek, and feel how warm his body was.  Just the thought of it made Spencer’s cheeks flush again and he suddenly wondered if Derek would be able to tell what he was thinking just by the guilty look on his face.

 

Spencer didn’t know how to deal with these feelings.  He felt embarrassed for wanting these things from Derek, and frustrated with himself for feeling so out of his element.  Derek seemed so much more confident, and Spencer wondered if any of this nervousness or panic was ever experienced by the older man.  He wanted to be able to flirt and talk to Derek like Derek was talking to him.  He wanted to be able to _relax._ But Spencer didn’t feel confident in his ability to navigate these types of conversations in a way that wouldn’t lead to him making a total fool out of himself in front of Derek.  He needed time to recoup.  Glancing at the time and seeing that it was well-past 10, he decided it’d be best to not give himself any additional chances to say something awkward, or for Derek to see how flustered he was getting.  

 

“Unfortunately, I’ll have to make do with the amount I’ve been able to see so far.  It’s late and I’ve got a draft due tomorrow morning, so I think we’re going to have to call it a night here,” Spencer said apologetically.

 

“Aww, sorry to hear that,” Derek said with a little pout.

 

Spencer smiled at the genuine disappointment in Derek’s voice.

 

“Don’t worry, Derek, we’ll talk soon.  You know that,” Spencer said.

 

“Soon isn’t soon enough, sweetness,” Derek said, his deep voice making Spencer tremble.

 

Flushing, Spencer bit his lip to force himself to focus and not get caught up in the headiness that Derek’s voice seemed to always bring over him.

 

“Kid, that lip is going to get you into trouble,” Derek warned, causing Spencer to blink at him in surprise as he released his lip from between his teeth.  

 

The lustful note to Derek’s voice was strangely empowering to Spencer.  He liked that it seemed like Derek was finding it as hard to stay in control as Spencer often felt.   

 

“Is that so?  Well, old habits die hard Derek, so I think you’re going to have to suffer through it for quite a while,” Spencer said, in what he hoped was a flirtatious voice, and then licked his bottom lip one more time for good measure, trying to hold back his smile.

 

Derek stared at Spencer, mouth slightly agape, looking downright stunned.  Spencer didn’t know if that meant his attempt at flirtation had succeeded or not, but he had never struck Derek speechless before, so he decided to take this as a victory.

 

“Good night, Derek,” Spencer said with a smile, and a wave, before he disconnected their chat.

* * *

The next day, Spencer found himself struggling to concentrate on the work in front of him as his mind continuously drifted back to the previous night’s exchange with Derek.  He would imagine the way Derek’s eyes had changed as they looked at him; how there was something _raw_ about them, and how that had made Spencer’s stomach clench pleasantly. 

 

Sighing, Spencer didn’t know if he should be concerned about all of this.  This just wasn’t _like_ him.  He had never felt this way before, and he wasn’t sure if it was something he should be _allowing_ himself to feel.   Spencer usually liked to remain in control; order made sense to him.  But, now, this thing with Derek was making him feel totally _out_ of control.  And Spencer wasn’t quite sure he minded…

 

Pausing, with his pen poised above the paper he had been attempting to grade, Spencer wondered what that said about him.  Why, all of a sudden, was he willing to let the reins he held so tightly on himself go?   Spencer had always considered himself to be practical.  He was risk-averse.  He wasn’t _reckless._ He was the type of person who weighed the pros and cons, and actually had numeric values to back it up.  He was also the most likely to try to talk someone _else_ out of doing something rash.  He was quite proud of being the go-to person if you wanted practicality and reason.  But, for some reason, he liked the idea of Derek being in control.  If Derek was the one saying or initiating the things that made Spencer feel so exposed and vulnerable then Spencer couldn’t be blamed for what he ended up doing, could he? 

 

Nodding to himself, Spencer convinced himself that that was sound enough logic.    

* * *

Later that night, after having forced himself to push Derek out of his mind and complete his assignments, Spencer finally felt like he could allow himself a break. And a break meant… talking to Derek. Lately it seemed the only thing that could really hold his interest.  But he decided he didn’t want to let himself think too deeply on that.  It’d be a problem if his activities online became more of a “habit” than a hobby… 

 

Sitting down at his computer, Spencer signed on, feeling a rush of anticipation, and wondered what Derek would say or do tonight.   When the video screen opened up, Spencer was met with the grinning face of Derek and the man’s very bare chest.  Spencer’s eyebrows rose as he took in the image in front of him, staring for what was probably longer than was acceptable and forced himself to tear his eyes away and focus back on Derek’s face.

 

“Hey, Pretty Boy,” Derek said with a chuckle as he waved at him.

 

“Um… did you forget your shirt, Derek?” Spencer asked as he sat back, and crossed his arms over his chest.  He needed something to keep him grounded, even if that meant holding on to _himself_.

 

“Nah.  When I took a shower earlier it was too hot to put a shirt on.  And my apartment’s just generally warm, so I decided to keep it off.  But I’m the type that’s very comfortable in my skin anyway and since you’ve already seen it, I figured what’s the point of being more modest than we need to be, huh?” Derek said, giving Spencer a smirk as he lifted one eyebrow in amusement. 

 

Spencer returned Derek’s look with a miffed one, but could only shrug in response.

 

“Please don’t think that that means you’re going to get me to take _my_ shirt off again,” Spencer warned him.

 

“Aww, Pretty Boy, don’t be mean,” Derek said as he leaned closer to the screen.

 

Spencer couldn’t help but lean closer himself, as he never wanted to pass up any chance to look at Derek’s dark, expressive eyes up close.  Aside from anything Derek could _say_ , it was often Derek’s eyes that made Spencer get the most worked up.  He blushed at the thought.

 

“Really, kid, you don’t know how gorgeous you are,” Derek said as he looked back into Spencer’s eyes.

 

Spencer’s breath hitched.

 

“Derek… you know, you don’t have to say things like that,” Spencer said as he averted his eyes. 

 

Derek sighed.

 

“Yeah, I know I don’t ‘have’ to say it, but I think you need to _hear_ it, Spencer,” Derek said, no hint of joking in his voice.

 

Spencer looked back up at him and he could see that Derek was looking at him seriously, his intense dark eyes telling Spencer all he needed to know.  Spencer felt his face heat up again.  He could even feel his ears burning. 

 

“Um… let’s just… H-how was your day?” Spencer said, hoping to change the subject.

 

Derek leaned back, and crossed his arms over his chest as he made a show of thinking hard. 

 

“Well my day was a bit rough, Pretty Boy.  I really couldn’t just go to sleep after you signed off the other night, so I ended up running on less sleep than I’m used to,” Derek said as he gave Spencer a feigned pout.

 

Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed, confused by what Derek was saying.

 

“You couldn’t sleep?” he asked. “Why not?”   

 

“Well… I was a little ‘worked-up,’ let’s say,” Derek said, his eyes taking on a heated look.  “I couldn’t stop thinking about how you looked taking your shirt off for me… And then I started thinking about how you’d look doing…other things, and I couldn’t get those images out of my mind.”

 

Spencer stared at him speechless, mouth going dry as he realized what Derek was saying.

 

“D-Derek… I don’t know what you-” Spencer began.

 

“Why don’t you try it, Pretty Boy?  It’s just me and you, nothing to be afraid of,” Derek offered.

 

Spencer really couldn’t form words.  This was exactly what he had been thinking about earlier.  Derek would say something and Spencer’s mind would go to mush.  He really couldn’t think of any good reasons why _not_ to.  And that was a problem in and of itself.

 

“I bet you’d look so nice touching yourself for me,” Derek whispered.

 

Spencer sat back from the desk, covering his face with his hands, unsure if he was trying to prevent Derek from seeing how embarrassed he was making him or if he needed to stop _himself_ from seeing Derek’s smoldering eyes.

 

“D-Derek,” Spencer breathed out from behind his hands. “I really… I can’t have this… this kind of _conversation_ with you.” 

 

“Why not….? You want me to believe that you don’t think about _me_ after we sign off?  I know when I get you worked up, Spencer.  Why don’t you tell me what you imagine me doing to you,” Derek purred.

 

“Derek, _please_ ,” Spencer pleaded, feeling like his whole body was about to burst into flames. 

 

“Ok, ok.  Baby steps, I promise,” Derek said with a throaty chuckle.  “How ‘bout you take that shirt off for me.  There’s nothing scary about that, right?  You did that just yesterday and nothing bad happened.” 

 

Spencer slowly lowered his hands and gave Derek a disgruntled look.

 

“Trust me, Spencer.  You’re gonna like it.  I promise you’ll like everything you do with me.  And if you don’t, we can always stop,” Derek said with a shrug. “You’re in control kid.”

 

Spencer licked his lips as he considered Derek’s words.  His heart was hammering in his chest and he was nervous to take this “step.”  But, Derek was right, wasn’t he?  Spencer could always say no… or stop if he found himself too far out of his element.

 

With a dramatic sigh, Spencer threw his hands up in defeat.

 

“F-fine, but… I still don’t really know what you get out of this,” he murmured as he began unbuttoning his shirt. 

 

Today he was wearing a dark gray button-down and he made quick work of it.  His fingers hesitated as he hovered over the hem of his undershirt and he quickly glanced back up to the screen to see Derek looking on with a heated gaze.  Swallowing as he looked back down, Spencer quickly grabbed the hem of the shirt and pulled it up and over his head.  Smoothing down his hair and taking a deep breath, Spencer faced the screen again.

 

Derek was nodding at him appreciatively and Spencer couldn’t help the warm feeling that blossomed in his chest when Derek gave him a big grin. 

 

“Nice, kid, really nice,” Derek said as he licked his lips.

 

Spencer still felt really awkward, and he was poised to tell Derek just that when the older man spoke up before Spencer had a chance to.

 

“Now, I want to see you touch your nipples,” he said simply. 

 

Spencer gaped at him, convinced he hadn’t heard right.  But when Derek just stared back at him, expectantly, Spencer realized that he was serious.

 

“Derek, I can’t… I can’t do something like that!” Spencer said.

 

“Of course you can,” Derek said, letting out a huff of laughter. 

 

He then held up his hands, rubbing his thumbs against his index and middle finger as if he was asking for money. 

 

“Just touch ‘em, just like this,” Derek said, as he continued making the motion.

 

Spencer glared at him, face as red as a tomato. 

 

Derek laughed again, the throaty sound making Spencer’s mouth water, but he tried to ignore it. 

 

“Ok, let’s start slow then,” Derek said, almost in a purr.  “Just run your hands up and down your chest.  Get comfortable with touching yourself, Spencer.”

 

“Derek, this is too embarrassing.  I really can’t do something like that… not… not with you _watching_ me,” Spencer whined, feeling frustrated with himself for being so inhibited, but he knew it was true.  There was no way he could do this with Derek looking at him.

 

“Close your eyes, then. Pretend I’m not looking.  And just listen to my voice,” Derek told him.  

 

Spencer hesitated for a moment, wondering if that would really work.  But then he decided to trust Derek.  Weighing the odds, he decided that the “worst that could happen” would be that he would make a total fool out of himself.  And, while he would be very sad to bring an end to their conversations, he knew that if things went awry he could always just sign off and never chat with Derek again.  There was some sense of security in knowing that only one person would ever see him doing this and that Derek really didn’t _know_ him at all.  It was true that anonymity tended to make people bolder.

 

So, with a nervous swallow, Spencer allowed his eyes to flutter closed and brought his hands up to his chest.  Still too shy to actually _touch_ his nipples, like Derek wanted, Spencer just allowed his fingers to rest lightly against his collarbones.

 

“Great,” Derek breathed out.  “That’s perfect.  Just like that.  Now just run your hands up and down your chest.  Touch yourself however and wherever you want.”

 

Spencer shivered upon hearing Derek’s voice.  He hadn’t expected it, but hearing Derek, without any other sensory stimulation to distract him, made the impact of the man’s voice on him even more apparent.  Spencer bit his lip, in an attempt to force his face not to give away just what Derek’s voice was doing to him. But then _Derek_ moaned, and Spencer’s eyes almost shot open in surprise.

 

“That _lip_ , Pretty Boy,” came Derek’s gruff voice. “What did I tell you about what that does to me?  You better start touching yourself soon.”

 

A full-body shudder ran through Spencer’s frame, and he had to force himself to keep his eyes squeezed tightly shut.  Hesitantly, he began to run his palms down his chest.  With his eyes closed, he felt every movement acutely as his clammy palms slowly inched down the smooth skin of his pectorals and flinched as they ran over his already sensitive nipples.  A small ‘mmph’ escaped his lips, and he felt his face flame up in shame as he froze, hands hovering over his flushed skin.  

 

“No, don’t stop.  Don’t stop.  You don’t know how hot this is, Spencer.  Keep going.  _Please_ ,” Derek groaned.

 

And just hearing the heated urgency in Derek’s voice had Spencer’s heart jackhammering in his chest and his pants getting embarrassingly tight. He couldn’t believe he was… _reacting_ like this.  He had only touched himself for the briefest second, in a place where he hadn’t even known could even _get_ him aroused.  But he liked hearing Derek like that.  He liked knowing that this was making the older man lose his composure as well. 

 

So, with a determined inhale, Spencer returned his hands to his chest.  This time, however, he skipped over his nipples and began running his hands down to his stomach.  Splaying his hands across the expanse of his chest, Spencer ran them down to the waistband of his jeans, fingers touching each other over his bellybutton, and then slowly ran them back up his chest.  He felt sexy.  For the first time in his life.  And he really didn’t know what to do with this feeling.

 

“You look so good, baby.  You’re doing so well,” Derek’s voice cut in, and for some reason it came as a relief to Spencer.  “I want to see you touch your little nipples again.  Can you do that for me?”  

 

Feeling his face flush hotly again, all Spencer could do was nod silently as he bit at his bottom lip.  He couldn’t deny that he was getting turned on and, as was always the case, most of the blood from his brain had rushed down to his cock.   With little hesitation, Spencer’s hands crept up to his nipples, which were already standing at attention, and squeezed them.  A shocked moan was torn from his lips and he couldn’t help the way his body jerked slightly, as if electricity had shot through him.

 

“Oh, God,” came Derek’s breathy moan.  “Do that again, baby.  Do it again.”

 

And Spencer did, tweaking his nipples as his back arched and his lips parted, another low moan slipping out of his mouth.  Spencer’s breath came out in stuttered gasps as he felt his body thrum, as if molten heat was pulsing through him.  He could barely concentrate on anything other than Derek’s deep voice and the feel of his fingers on his nipples, sending jolts of pleasure straight to his groin.   And apparently it was obvious. 

 

“Are you getting hard?  Huh?  I want to see you touch yourself there, Spencer,” Derek said, voice thick with something Spencer couldn’t quite place.

 

And Spencer couldn’t help it, his eyes slowly fluttered open and he sucked in a startled breath when he saw the intensity of Derek’s stare.  Derek looked like he would devour him if only Spencer gave him the chance.  Spencer moaned and squeezed his eyes shut tight again.

 

“Answer me,” Derek said.  “Are you hard, Spencer?”

 

Flushing, Spencer just nodded his head vigorously.  He couldn’t lie. 

 

“That’s good, baby.  That’s what I want.  Come on, just run your hand down to your cock.  You know how to make yourself feel good, don’t you?  If I was there, I’d do it for you, but I can’t.  So you’re going to have to do it for me, baby,” Derek said, voice sultry and low.   

 

Whimpering, Spencer ran his right hand down his chest, skirting over the waistband of his jeans, and hesitantly allowed it to lie on top of his straining erection.  Just that touch was enough to cause his hips to jerk up and a small moan to slip out. 

 

“Good boy,” Derek said.  “Now, come on.  I want to see you get off, Spencer.  Rub your cock, but keep working your nipple, too.  You’ll feel really good baby.”

 

Spencer couldn’t believe he was doing this.  But, by this time, he was so far gone that he didn’t even have the sense of mind to tell himself to stop.  That touching himself in front of a guy he barely knew on the internet was probably not the _brightest_ idea.  But, it felt _good_ , and Spencer often didn’t allow himself to just “feel” much of anything. 

 

Groaning, Spencer squeezed and rubbed at his hard cock through his jeans.  He wanted to touch himself for real, but he still had enough of his wits about him to still feel too shy to do that.  But touching like this almost felt like it’d be enough to get him off.  Just knowing that Derek was watching him made Spencer’s skin feel tight and over-sensitive.  It didn’t take much to have Spencer thrusting up into the pressure of his palm, gasping and moaning, voice getting louder and louder.

 

“You sound so good, Spencer,” Derek moaned. “God, you’re going to make me come too, Pretty Boy.”  

 

Spencer’s eyes sprung open upon hearing those words and they widened as he could see the telltale sign of Derek’s muscular arm moving.  He couldn’t see below his bicep, but Spencer knew enough to tell that Derek was touching himself too. 

 

“ _Derek_ ,” Spencer gasped out, somewhat awed and extremely aroused.

 

“Shit, it’s so sexy to hear you say my name like that,” Derek moaned out, eyes dark with need.  “Keep going, Spencer.  I want to see you come.”

 

Biting his lip, Spencer closed his eyes again, concentrating on the sound of Derek’s heavy breathing and the feel of his own fingers on his pebbled nipple and squeezing at his hard cock.  He was getting close.  His body was tensing and his heart was pounding in his chest.  But he was warring with himself.  He wanted to come; he wanted to just let go.  But he had never done this in front of another person.  Even with all that he had already allowed himself to do, letting himself go over the edge like this… he didn’t think he’d ever be able to turn back.

 

“You close baby?” Derek asked, voice breathy with his own excitement. “Huh?  You gonna come soon?”

 

Spencer squeezed his eyes even tighter, trying to hold off his need.  Trying to prevent himself from giving in. But his hips were jerking up, and his breath was coming out in choppy gasps.  And Derek’s voice—knowing that Derek was enjoying this—was making it even harder to hold on. 

  

“Come on, answer me, Pretty Boy,” Derek’s deep voice cut into Spencer’s thoughts.  “You coming?  I want to hear you say it.”

 

Spencer was mortified at the thought of doing it, but, there was just something about Derek’s voice that made Spencer feel like all he wanted to do was please him.  Like he wanted to hear more praise from Derek.  Spencer couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of his lips.

 

“Y-yes!  Yes, I’m coming, Derek,” he gasped, feeling his face flush with shame but also feeling somewhat relieved. 

 

“That’s good, baby.  That’s so good.  Come on, just let go. Let me see you,” Derek urged him on.

 

And just like that, with two more hard thrusts into the pressure of his palm, Spencer was coming.  His toes were curling in his socks, and his blood was rushing in his ears. He bit down on his lip, but it did little to stop his long, low satisfied moan as he came in his jeans.   

 

After a few deep breaths, Spencer finally opened his eyes, feeling a bit dazed and winded, but at the same time feeling amazingly relaxed, like his muscles were made out of rubber.  When his eyes finally focused, he was met with Derek’s shining eyes and almost-predatory grin.

 

“You did so great, baby.  But, next time, I want to see it all,” Derek said, voice still in that lusty register, his words making it clear that it was an expectation, not a request.    

 

Brain quite literally obliterated to pieces, all Spencer could do was nod dumbly as he watched Derek grin at him.  And then, with a wink, Derek signed off.

* * *

A/N: Writing PWP is actually _hard_ haha!  But… I’m sure you can guess things will escalate from here, huh?  Gotta be honest, other than the smut, I have no idea what’s going to happen in this story.  So fingers crossed I can make this make enough sense to be enjoyable, haha.  I rushed to get this up _literally_ before the “New Year,” so there might be some errors (excuse them in advance, haha).  Also, I haven’t started on Chapter 5 so I have _noooo_ idea when you’ll see the next chap (school resumes for me on Monday D:).  So please be patient in the meantime! 

 

For now, though, please let me know your thoughts!   Love to hear from you!  (I'd even love to hear if you guys are looking forward to anything specific ;p) Xoxo 


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hey guys!  So, first off, sorry for the bit of a wait.  As you know, I’m in school and I feel so terribly busy! D:. Anywho, I’m trying to stay on top of this fic, but I can’t commit to any type of a firm update schedule.  I actually even had this chapter written LAST week but wanted to add a few more scenes. I never got around to it, so i figured it's just best that I post what I have, haha.  

Anyway, thanks in advance for your patience with me!   And thanks for all the great comments/feedback!  It really helped to keep me motivated :).

Off to chapter 5! Xoxo

* * *

Sitting in lecture, trying to pay attention to what the stuffy professor at the front of the room was droning on about, Spencer was at a loss.   He couldn’t stop replaying the events of last night in his mind and was finding it more than just a little bit difficult to concentrate on the equations on the board.

 

After Derek had signed off, Spencer had sat there for a few minutes more, breathing heavily as the fog in his mind cleared.  As his senses came back to him, Spencer realized, to his horror, that he had willingly touched himself with another person looking on and had _come_ in his pants.  He had moaned and gyrated his hips like some kind of porn star.  He felt like he should feel ashamed of himself.  Like he had done something “dirty,” or something wrong. 

 

But while he _was_ embarrassed (things like that were always embarrassing in the cold light of day), he didn’t feel a sense of guilt, and _that_ was shocking.  Spencer had been indoctrinated to “do the right thing.”  It had been hard, growing up, with an unstable home life, so he had always been able to find a sense of control in being a model student and an all-around “good boy.”  Touching yourself on the internet was not the markings of a “good boy.”  But, listening to Derek’s voice—and hearing the encouragement and excitement from the older man—had made _Spencer_ feel good.   

 

Derek hadn’t made fun of him.  In fact, Derek had acted as if Spencer was the most seductive and enticing thing he had ever seen.  Thinking back on it, with a dash of realism, Spencer knew that he probably _wasn’t_ the most alluring person Derek had ever seen—Spencer had never even _tried_ to be sexy before in his life—but the feeling he had had in that moment, with Derek watching him, was the most confident Spencer had ever felt in his life.  And he liked it.

 

Giggling to himself, Spencer ducked his head and covered his mouth with his hands.  He flushed when he realized that Bryan, who was sitting next to him, was giving him an odd look.

 

“What’s so funny?” Bryan whispered, eyebrow arched.

 

Spencer looked away and began to fiddle with his pencil.

 

“N-nothing,” he whispered back.  “Just remembering something.”

 

Bryan still looked unconvinced—and rather suspicious, to be honest—but he shrugged and turned his attention back to the lecture.  Spencer decided he had better do the same.  It was _not_ a good idea for him to be daydreaming about the next time he would get an opportunity to try something like that again with Derek.  Spencer wasn’t sure how far he would go.  It was still quite unknown territory for him.  But the idea that there was _more_ he could try, well, that was exciting.   

* * *

When Spencer walked through his apartment door later that evening he was exhausted.  A project they had been working on in his lab for months in preparation for publication had shown oddities in the statistical analyses and they realized that one of the formulas was off.  They had scrambled for the last six hours to find the error so they would not have to scrap the whole project and start from scratch.  They had finally been able to find the error—a joint discovery by Spencer and Mackenzie—but it was almost 10:00 by the time that had happened. 

 

Everyone had decided they wanted to go to the local bar for a few drinks to end the night, and celebrate the fact that a major crisis had been averted.  But Spencer had politely declined.  He had begged off, claiming he was tired, but it was also partially because, even while working painstakingly on trying to fix the error, Spencer hadn’t been able to put out of his mind the knowledge that Derek was probably waiting for him.  He didn’t want to stand him up. 

 

So, even feeling as bone-tired as he was, Spencer dropped his messenger bag on the floor by the door and made his way to his computer, turning it on.  He bit his lip nervously as the old computer kicked itself back to life.  He didn’t want Derek to be annoyed or think, especially after the big step they had taken last night, that Spencer was suddenly disinterested and giving him toe cold shoulder.  Spencer wasn’t a big texter but as the hours had ticked by while he worked on the project he had found himself wishing more and more that he had Derek’s number so he could at least have told him not to wait up.   As Spencer clicked on the video-chat program, he secretly wished that Derek _had_ waited up though.  He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but knowing that Derek had given up on him would hurt.

 

When the program finally loaded, Spencer couldn’t help the sense of relief that washed through his stomach when he saw the green indicator next to Derek’s name in his (otherwise empty) list of contacts, signifying that Derek was online.  His eyes immediately darted over to the few new chats he saw waiting for him.  Quickly glancing over them, Spencer felt his heart warm. 

 

_Derek (6:55 pm):  Hey, Pretty Boy.  Looks like I’m the first one on!  Can’t wait to talk when you get home ;p_

_Derek (8:15 pm): Still not home, sweet thing?  All this waiting is getting me excited.  Are you teasing me on purpose? ;D_

_Derek (9:32 pm): It’s getting late, baby.  I hope everything’s ok.  I’ll wait up for you.  Even if you don’t want to talk tonight, just let me know you’re good, okay?_  

 

Spencer immediately double-clicked on Derek’s name and initiated the voice chat.  It rang about three times before it was answered.

 

“Spencer!” Derek said, grinning as his face came into view.

 

Spencer smiled back as he watched Derek place what looked to be a half-eaten slice of pizza down and out of sight.  Spencer could tell that Derek was in a different room than he usually was when they chatted.  He assumed Derek usually talked to him in his bedroom on account of the low-lighting and the types of furniture he could see behind him, but now, he could see that Derek was sitting on a couch and he could see the bright light from what was probably his kitchen behind him. He could also hear the low sound of the TV on in the background. 

 

“Hi, Derek!” Spencer said back.  “I’m so sorry I kept you waiting this long.”

 

“Shit, kid, I was getting worried!  I was getting all antsy when I didn’t hear from you.  Why do you think I’m up right now watching the news?  I’ve gotten used to talking to you before I go to bed now,” Derek said with a pout.

 

Spencer’s eyes widened at Derek’s words. 

 

“We really need to exchange numbers, kid.  You can’t leave me here imagining that all these bad things may have happened to you,” Derek continued.  “I’m the knight in shining armor type, so I need to know my Pretty Boy is being properly taken care of.”  

 

Spencer could tell that Derek was trying to make light of it, but Derek had looked genuinely relieved when he had first seen Spencer’s face, and Spencer couldn’t help but feel touched by that.  He and Derek were still practically complete strangers, but he felt more comfortable, and _safe_ , with Derek than he felt with many of the people he talked to on a daily basis.  It felt good to think that Derek maybe liked him as much as Spencer liked Derek.

 

“I’m really sorry, Derek,” Spencer said.  “We got caught up in lab.  There was this huge mess.  It took us hours to work it out, but _finally_ we solved it.  Everyone went out for drinks but I felt so bad that you might’ve been waiting for me that all I wanted to do was come right home. I wish I could’ve let you know what was happening.  Sorry to make you wait this long.”

 

Spencer was blushing by the time he finished.  He hadn’t meant to _tell_ Derek that he had chosen to rush home instead of going out with his friends.  But the words had just sort of spilled out of him after he realized that Derek actually _had_ been waiting. For hours, it seemed.

 

Derek gave him a warm look.

 

“Don’t worry,” Derek said.  “I’m just glad I got to see you tonight.  But I’m not kidding, baby, I don’t like not knowing if you’re okay.  Let’s exchange numbers.” 

 

Spencer flushed. He did every time Derek addressed him with a term of endearment.  And Derek did that _a lot_.  He could manage better with some of them, but “Pretty Boy” and “Baby” always made his stomach do flips.

 

“You okay with that?” Derek asked after Spencer hadn’t responded for a few seconds.

 

“Oh! Oh yeah, sure,” Spencer rushed to say.  “Um, I agree… I… I really wish I had been able to call you… or text you or something, to let you know I was alright.” 

 

Derek’s eyes darkened and Spencer trembled.  He never knew why he got so flustered under Derek’s gaze, but, without fail, it always seemed to make him come undone.

 

“That’s good, baby.  I like that you were thinking about me,” Derek said.

 

His deep voice resonated through Spencer, and Spencer felt himself fighting back the urge to moan.  He felt his face heat up in his embarrassment.

 

“Let me get those digits, then,” Derek said, chuckling softly, and Spencer was almost convinced that the older man knew what effect he had on him.

 

They quickly exchanged numbers, Spencer blushing as Derek remarked about how outdated his phone was.  Spencer’s only response was “as long as it can receive your calls, that’s all that matters.”  Derek had seemed pretty pleased with that response.

 

“Can it receive picture-messages?” Derek asked once they were finished and they each had put their phones away.

 

Spencer’s brows furrowed.

 

“Hmm… I’m not really sure.  I don’t think anyone’s ever sent me one before,” he said.

 

“Aww, it’d be a shame if you can’t receive ‘em,” Derek said pouting.

 

“Why?” Spencer asked, seemingly confused.  “You want to send me pictures?”

 

Derek laughed and shook his head.

 

“You really _are_ new to this, aren’t you Pretty Boy?” he asked. 

 

Spencer blushed, feeling as if, yet again, he was left out of the loop of some big secret. He hated coming off so “inexperienced,” and that his unfamiliarity was so obvious that Derek could pick it out, just like that. 

 

“But, don’t worry,” Derek said, giving him a lazy grin. “I think it’s cute.  I like that no one’s done any of this stuff with you before. There’s a lot I’m looking forward to teaching you.”

 

Spencer’s face became even hotter and he dropped his eyes to his lap.  He might not have all that much experience, but he could easily see the look of desire in Derek’s eyes.  It made him squirm and he could feel his heartrate increasing. 

 

“I know you had a long day, baby, so there’s no pressure, but, do you want to play a little before you go to bed?” Derek asked in that deep, husky voice.  “It might help you relax.  You know, give you a good night’s sleep.”

 

Spencer looked up at him from under his lashes.  Derek was giving him a suggestive look, and Spencer felt his mouth almost start to water.  Derek was sitting there leaned back against his couch with his arms spread out across the back.  It made his deltoids and biceps bulge out against the material of his dark t-shirt, drawing attention to how strong Derek probably was.  It made Derek look powerful, and Spencer was suddenly so aware of how being wrapped up in Derek’s arms would probably make him feel small.  Spencer had always felt awkward; lanky, and too tall, like he took up too much room.  But, in Derek’s arms, Spencer doubted he would ever feel that way. 

 

And, thinking on Derek’s suggestion, Spencer felt himself getting aroused already.  He wasn’t going to be the one to bring it up, but Spencer _was_ excited about “playing” again, as Derek had called it.  It had been on his mind all day.  He was too shy to initiate it himself, but if Derek was the one to tell him what to do… well, Spencer could always just follow his instructions.  So, biting his lip lightly he nodded quietly at Derek.   

 

“Mm, good boy,” Derek almost purred as he nodded.  “I like it when you’re honest with me.”

 

Spencer blushed, almost preening under the praise. 

 

“Okay,” Derek said as he relaxed more, leaning back further into the seat and sliding down the couch a little bit.  From where the laptop was in front of him, Spencer could see Derek’s legs spread wide as he made himself more comfortable, his muscled thighs moving under the fabric of his black sweatpants.  Spencer gulped, wondering if he would be able to actually see it once Derek started to get excited.

 

“How ‘bout you start with taking your shirt off and put on a little show for me?” Derek asked, grinning at him. 

 

“A _show_?” Spencer asked, sticking his tongue out as if the sheer thought of it was distasteful.

 

Derek laughed.

 

“Yeah, come on, you know what I mean.  Take it off slow and sexy like. I can even put some music on for you, if you’d like,” Derek said, teasingly.

 

Spencer frowned at him as he shook his head.

 

“I… I can’t… you _know_ … like,  _strip_.  That’s just so _not_ me, Derek,” Spencer sputtered out.

 

Derek laughed.

“Baby, you don’t know “what’s you” yet until you try it,” he countered. 

 

“I don’t… I’m not gonna strip to music,” Spencer insisted. 

 

Derek smiled.

 

“Okay, okay.  Not tonight.  That’s fair,” Derek said as he nodded to himself. 

 

He then leaned forward a bit, making sure Spencer could clearly see his eyes.

 

“I still want you to take it off slow though. Touch yourself through your shirt first. Get yourself a little worked up. And _then_ show me those pretty little nipples of yours,” he directed. 

 

Spencer licked his lips.  He didn’t know what it was about Derek’s voice that made him just want to do whatever the older man said.  Yes, he wasn’t comfortable enough to try to _tease_ Derek by stripping.  But Derek was always good at later changing his request to something more manageable if Spencer seemed too hesitant to try it at first.  Spencer vaguely thought about the psychological principle of the “door in the face” technique before he shook his head and decided to just do what Derek asked.  He knew he really _wanted_ to do it anyway.  If he didn’t, he would say no.  But, instead, he found his hands were moving up to his chest of their own accord.

 

“Good,” Derek purred. “Just like that.  You got this, baby.  You always look so good.”

 

Spencer closed his eyes as he began to trail his hands up and down his chest, trembling slightly at the feel of his own touch on his body.  He tried to imagine how to make himself sexy; how he could put on a “show” for Derek.  Biting his lip, Spencer’s fingers traced the buttons of his shirt, slowly working up to his collarbones and down to his navel.  He heard Derek let out a hum of approval, and Spencer warmed at the unspoken praise. A few more passes of his fingers over his clothed chest, and Spencer could already feel his nipples perking and standing at attention.  He had never known his nipples were so sensitive, but now they sent shivers through his body whenever he played with them.

 

“Mm, I can tell you like that Pretty Boy,” Derek said, his husky voice breaking into Spencer’s thoughts.

 

Spencer opened his eyes slowly, daring to be a little bolder and look at Derek while he was touching himself this time. 

 

“Oh, there he is,” Derek praised once Spencer met his eyes. “You’re doing really good.  Now take that shirt off.” 

 

Nodding, Spencer glanced down as he began to unbutton his shirt.

 

“Slowly, slowly,” Derek coached. 

 

Biting his lip again, Spencer paced himself, slowly popping one button open at a time, finding that he did feel sexier the slower that he went.  It felt like he was really _teasing_ Derek, and Spencer kind of liked it. 

 

Once his shirt was fully opened, Spencer slowly eased it off his shoulders, already knowing that Derek would like it.  Without being prompted, Spencer ran his fingers down to the waist of his pants and slowly untucked his undershirt, holding on to them and dragging it up, slowly revealing his navel, abdominals, and then his pectorals.  He hesitated for a moment, feeling the heavy weight of Derek’s eyes on his exposed flesh before he lifted his arms over his head and pulled the shirt the rest of the way off.

 

“Nice baby,” Derek praised him. “Very nice.”

 

Spencer smiled softly, reaching up to fix his hair, knowing it had gotten tousled when he pulled the shirt off.  

 

“I like it when you look all messy like that,” Derek said with a wink and Spencer found himself blushing and trying to hold back a smile, not wanting to give away how pleased that made him.    

 

“And look, you’re already so excited,” Derek said as he motioned toward Spencer’s chest. 

 

Spencer raised his hands to cover his already stiff nipples, but when he saw the look in Derek’s eyes he hesitated, knowing that Derek wanted to see this. Pushing down his self-consciousness, Spencer closed his eyes and closed his fingers over his nipples. He tweaked them, letting out a soft moan. 

 

“Yeah,” Derek breathed. “And are you excited down below, too?”

 

Spencer was embarrassed, but all he could do was nod.  There was no point in lying. Derek would get it out of him anyway. 

 

“Mm, I figured.  You get hot so easily, baby. I like that.  Now, come on, let me see what you’re working with,” Derek encouraged.

 

Spencer’s eyes shot open. 

 

“You mean… like… you want to see my…” Spencer trailed off.  He couldn’t even voice the words, he was so embarrassed. 

 

“Yeah, baby.  I told you, I want to see _all_ of you,” Derek said.

 

“I… I can’t _show_ you, Derek,” Spencer whined.  “I’m too embarrassed.”

 

“Hmm… is that so?  Okay, maybe that’s a bit much for today, huh?” Derek asked. 

 

Spencer nodded.

 

“You don’t have to show me, but I still want you to take it out, baby.  Don’t want to make another mess, do you?” Derek asked, a playful tone in his voice.       

 

Spencer grimaced, remembering just what kind of mess Derek was talking about.  But the idea of touching his bare skin in front of Derek, even though Derek wouldn’t be able to actually _see_ him, still made Spencer squirm with nervousness. It felt especially naughty.

 

“Come on, Spencer, don’t leave me hanging here,” Derek said. 

 

And when Spencer looked back up at him he saw Derek lazily palming at his own crotch. Spencer’s eyes widened, mouth going dry as he could make out the outline of a thick bulge beneath Derek’s large hand.  Was that for _him_? 

 

“Yeah, you got me all worked up, baby,” Derek said, noticing Spencer’s awestruck expression.

 

 “What?  Are you surprised?  Spencer, I’m not lying when I say you are gorgeous, baby,” Derek said as he licked his lips and continued to massage his cock through his pants.

 

Spencer gulped and averted his eyes.  Seeing Derek like that had sent all the blood rushing down to his own cock.  It was already almost painfully hard and the constrictive material of his jeans wasn’t helping.  Whether Spencer had made his peace with touching himself in front of Derek or not didn’t matter anymore.  He was running on auto-pilot as his hands shot down to his belt and began to hurriedly undo the buckle.      

 

“Good, baby,” Derek said, words coming out in a breathy chuckle.  “You like what you see, huh?”

 

Fumbling his button open, Spencer shoved his hand down the front of his jeans and past the waistband of his underwear, letting out a small whimper as his hand made contact with the hot flesh of his cock.  He closed his hand around himself, shuddering as he stroked upward, unable to stop his hips from bucking.

 

“It feels good, doesn’t it?  Nothing beats bare skin on skin,” Derek said, licking his lips. “But I know you’re still touching yourself inside your pants, Spencer.  Come on, take it out.  We agreed you would.”

 

Spence groaned, curling in on himself as the sound of Derek’s voice rolled through him like liquid fire.  He knew from the way his video camera was positioned Derek really couldn’t see what he was doing.  At the most, Derek could see as low as Spencer’s mid-torso. Heart hammering in his chest, Spencer gripped his cock, pulling it out of his underwear and exposing it to the air.  He shuddered, swiping his thumb against the wet tip, spreading the pre-come that had already started to bead there and moaned softly. 

 

“Look at me, Pretty Boy,” Derek said, voice deep and demanding.   

 

Spencer’s head immediately snapped up and he looked at Derek, eyes darkened and lips parted as he panted. 

 

“Good boy.  I want you to touch yourself until you come, Spencer,” Derek said, rubbing more insistently at his own cock.  “Imagine that it’s me touching you.”  

 

Spencer gasped, feeling his cock stiffen even more in his hand.  He tossed his head back and moaned as he began to stroke his cock, wondering how Derek would do it. 

 

“D-Derek!” Spencer gasped, rocking his hips up into the motion of his stroking fist. 

 

“You want to see me, Spencer?” Derek asked.     

 

The words caused Spencer to come to rapt attention and he looked at Derek, the heated look the man was giving him almost searing in its intensity.  Before Spencer knew what he was doing, he was nodding enthusiastically. 

 

Smirking, Derek reached his hand down into the waistband of his sweatpants and pulled his cock out in one smooth motion.  Spencer let out a strangled sound—a mix between a gasp and a moan—that was embarrassing to his own ears, but he couldn’t even devote the brainpower to process it as he stared at Derek.  His cock was _big_ ; thick and veined, and heavy-looking.  Spencer couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to touch him.

 

“This is what you do to me,” Derek said in a low voice as he gave himself a long, slow stroke.  “I can come just from watching you, Spencer.  I love seeing you like this.  And I can’t help thinking about what I would do to you if I was there with you.”

 

Spencer whimpered as he closed his eyes, imagining it himself.  Groaning, he tilted his head back and lost himself to the fantasy.  He was exposed, his neck taut and chest flushed, body open to Derek’s hungry eyes.  He couldn’t stop himself from bringing his free hand up to one of his neglected nipples and pinching it as he continued to stroke his cock.  Soft mewls escaped his lips as he imagined that it was Derek’s hands on him.  The thought was enough to push Spencer so close to the edge he had to bite his lip to stop himself.   

 

“You look so good baby. Yeah.  I know you’re close. I can tell.  You sure you don’t want to give me a little peek, huh?  I want to see it when you come,” Derek groaned out, voice dripping with desire. 

 

Spencer was so close and he knew that seeing Derek looking at him— _all_ of him—would be just the thing to push him over the edge.  Derek’s heated gaze always made Spencer’s body feel like it was on fire.  Scrambling, Spencer pushed back from the desk, letting the chair roll until he was far enough away that Derek could see him, fist moving rapidly as he stroked himself. 

 

“Damn.  Yes, that’s _so_ good, Spencer, so good,” Derek praised and Spencer could hear the breathlessness in his voice.  Derek was close. _Spencer_ had been the cause of that. 

 

And that was enough.  Spencer gasped out loud, squeezing his eyes shut and arching his back up off his seat, pushing himself up on to his toes, as he came, shooting long streaks of come across his chest. 

 

“Oh, _baby._ Baby, baby, baby,” Derek said, almost in a groan, words coming out like some kind of mantra. 

 

Spencer’s eyes fluttered open, and he watched on dazedly, heart pounding in his chest, as Derek continued to stroke himself.  Derek’s eyes were trained on him, as if Spencer was the only thing in the world.  And then, with two more strokes, Derek threw his head back with a grunt and came.  Spencer watched as Derek stroked himself through his orgasm.  

 

The sounds of their heavy breathing filled the room, until Derek sat up and reached for some napkins, cleaning himself up.  Spencer quickly followed to do the same, suddenly realizing he had cooling come splattered all over his chest and his cock was still out.  He blushed as he tidied himself up, wondering how ridiculous he must look to Derek. But when he looked back up, Derek was giving him a lazy grin, eyes twinkling with mirth. 

 

“It was good, wasn’t it, baby?” Derek asked.

  
Spencer nodded, swallowing hard.  Just thinking about what he had done caused his heart to pound in his chest and his ears to burn.  But he found that he also couldn’t freak out.  He was drained and still experiencing a very potent afterglow.  For once, Spencer was glad that he couldn’t think. 

 

“I’m glad you did that for me. That you let me see you like that, Spencer,” Derek purred.

 

Spencer blushed, this time from shyness.

 

Derek chuckled.

 

“Don’t be shy, baby.  You’re so sexy.  You just don’t know it.  But doing stuff like this?  It’ll help you understand better just how sexy you can be,” Derek told him. 

 

Spencer didn’t know if that was true. But he did feel sexy under the heavy gaze of _Derek’s_ eyes. 

 

“You’re probably sleepy though, huh?” Derek asked, watching him. 

 

“Y-yeah, long day,” Spencer told him, glancing up to meet his eyes but quickly glancing away.  Now that he had done something like this, he really felt extremely shy.

 

“Plus, you just had a mind-blowing orgasm,” Derek reminded him.

 

Spencer blushed, but he couldn’t help but laugh as he looked back up at Derek again, trying to give him his best scolding look. 

 

“There he is,” Derek said, once Spencer returned his eye contact. “Don’t freak out about this Spencer.  Trust me, you were amazing.”

  
Spencer nodded, telling himself to believe what Derek was saying. 

 

“Alright.  Sweet dreams, Pretty Boy,” Derek said.  “I hope they’re filled with thoughts of me.”

 

Derek blew him a kiss and Spencer smiled back, feeling giddy with happiness. 

 

As he signed off, Spencer was sure that dreams filled with Derek would definitely be the case. 

* * *

A/N: That’s it for now!  

See you next time, and please let me know your thoughts! xoxo


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: So, happy Spring Break to me! I wrote this whole chapter (it's 18 pages, how did that happen??) last night! O_O.  Lord, guess I really needed that break from school!  Thank you for all the lovely comments everyone wrote on the last chapter!! You guys are such sweethearts.  As an update: I’ve decided _not_ to go the daddy!kink route.  Even though it seemed like many of you were all for it (or at least indifferent toward it), there were some who were quite opposed and I absolutely agree that it’s not fair to switch up a fic halfway through without giving people proper warnings. So, no d-kink this time around, but you are free to imagine it in the fic if you’d like to :3.  Maybe another day, in the future, I’ll write a d-kink one-shot separate from this ;p.  

Alright, here’s chapter 6!  Have at it! 

xoxo

* * *

Waking up the next morning, Spencer felt lazy and well-rested.  Letting out a pleased groan, he stretched his long body, limbs spread out like a cat’s, as he blinked up at the ceiling and smiled.  Derek had been right. Getting off with him last night really had been a wonderful stress reliever. And it seemed that every time he “played” with Derek online, the feelings he experienced became more and more intense. 

 

Thinking back on it, Spencer felt his face heat up as he remembered what they had done just a few hours ago. Every time they talked on the webcam, they progressed further past boundaries Spencer would have initially never imagined he’d ever be crossing.  And last night, with a sultry expression, Derek had shown himself off to Spencer, without even a moment of hesitation.  Spencer had been literally stunned speechless at Derek’s brazenness. 

 

But, of course Derek really had no reason to _be_ self-conscious about it.  He was gorgeous and blessed in all areas, including his impressive cock.  With features like that, why should Derek be shy?  But, it wasn’t like Spencer felt inadequate; he thought he did pretty alright himself in that category.  By no means did he have the girth Derek did, but he knew he had above-average length.  (Spencer would swear he only knew these statistics for purely “scientific” reasons however; he’d never admit to having been worried about that when he was growing up.)  That didn’t mean he’d be okay with _showing_ himself to someone else.  Being of “average size” or not didn’t do anything about the fact that it was just so embarrassing to be so exposed under someone else’s eyes. 

 

But Spencer _had_ shown Derek a side of him that, if he had been asked just a day earlier, he would’ve sworn he would have been too mortified to even dare to show off.  Feeling his face get even hotter as he thought about what he had done for Derek last night, Spencer couldn’t believe that he had been so bold to touch himself like that in front of Derek.  Sure, Derek couldn’t “see” anything (drunk on lust as he was, Spencer knew he was still lightyears away from showing naked skin), but Spencer had still gone much farther than he would have ever expected himself to go.  Well, there was a lot about what Spencer was doing with Derek that he would never have, in his wildest dreams, imagined he’d be doing. 

 

Biting his lip and furrowing his brows, Spencer wondered if he should feel concerned about these sudden changes in himself. Why was he so keen to throw caution to the wind and practically turn into putty whenever he was talking to Derek?  Why did Derek’s voice send a warm wave of desire rolling through his stomach?  Why did Derek’s gaze make Spencer feel completely vulnerable, and yet completely protected, all at the same time?  But more than anything he wondered when he would stop having these bouts “morning after” panic, like he was having some sort of identity crisis. 

 

Spencer knew that when he was talking to Derek—although he felt shy and nervous and self-conscious all at the same time—he never felt _afraid_.  Derek really did make him feel confident, and desired, and… _beautiful_.  But when he _wasn’t_ under Derek’s gaze, Spencer went back to feeling awkward.  To wondering if Derek was just being “nice” to him, or fearing that one day Derek would come to his senses and realize that Spencer really wasn’t much to look at.  What was the _appeal_ to Derek, Spencer couldn’t help but wonder.  He was sure he hadn’t done anything that could be remotely attractive to the older man.  Mostly, when he was talking to Derek, he became tongue-tied and stumbled over his words.  Derek often laughed, smiling at him warmly and giving him a fond look.  But Spencer wondered… would Derek soon grow tired of his inexperience and awkwardness?   

 

And, oh God, what if they _did_ ever actually meet in person? The thought made Spencer’s heart stutter in his chest.  It was hard enough talking to Derek when the man’s eyes were on him through a _computer screen_.  Although he could always hide when he felt too embarrassed or overwhelmed by signing off.  But, in person, Derek would be able to see everything about him. And Spencer wouldn’t be able to hide. 

 

What would he do when standing face to face from Derek?  Hearing Derek’s deep and somewhat gravelly voice flowing in from the speakers was enough to make Spencer’s heart race.  What if he actually had to feel the warmth of Derek’s breath on his skin, or his hands on his body?  Spencer shuddered, gripping on to the sheets around him.  Although the thought of meeting in person was anxiety-inducing (because Spencer could already calculate to the nth degree how many ways it could possibly go wrong), more than anything it was _exciting_.  Spencer really _wanted_ to meet Derek.  

 

This realization was shocking.  Of course Spencer was looking _forward_ to meeting Derek when he got to D.C.  That had initially been the whole _point_ of this, hadn’t it been?  But, somewhere along the line Spencer’s interest in wanting to “get to know people in the area” had solely turned into “wanting to get to know _Derek_.”   Spencer realized that since he had begun talking to Derek, he hadn’t even made an effort to try to find the _actual_ meet-up sites Bryan had been talking about.  He had practically abandoned his quest to find “friends” in D.C.  Spencer’s entire focus had been turned on to Derek.  And Spencer wasn’t all that sure he was _bothered_ by that.  If this thing with Derek (whatever this thing _was_ ) continued, Spencer didn’t really _need_ to meet other people, did he? 

 

But if things didn’t go well…. Well, Spencer would be back to square one, and probably also heartbroken. 

 

Spencer frowned as he blinked up at his ceiling.  He didn’t want to think about that.  Not about things going sour between him and Derek.  And _definitely_ not why he’d be “heartbroken” if that happened.  Derek had said he “liked” him, but Spencer knew that that didn’t necessarily mean that Derek wanted anything _more_ than the pleasure they could give each other, which was, at the moment, only remotely.  Derek hadn’t joined the site looking for a “relationship.”  As he had explained it to Spencer, the site was for “hooking up”—casual fun.  Besides, _Spencer_ wasn’t sure what he wanted.  He was still trying to figure out the whole sexuality thing.

 

Well… Spencer was smart enough to realize he was more than just _attracted_ to Derek. So that probably said something about his sexuality, if nothing else did.  And Spencer also had never been attracted to _anyone_ before like he was currently attracted to Derek.  Derek was like a _drug_.  And Spencer wasn’t so sure it was a good idea to get addicted. Or, at least, it’d be better if he was more aware of the possibility that things could get really bad for him if he got too attached to Derek and the older man suddenly grew bored.

 

Groaning in frustration, Spencer rolled over on to his stomach and shoved his face into his pillow as he grabbed at his hair, pulling at it. 

 

His life had been _far_ more predictable before his little adventure into the world of internet “socialization.”  It had been boring, but it had been safe and uncomplicated.  Now every time Spencer saw Derek’s wide grin his heart sped up and he felt like horses were galloping around in his tummy. 

 

Spencer probably could have spent another good hour lamenting his current situation, but then he heard a strange “dinging” sound come from his nightstand.  Furrowing his brows he lifted his head from its place buried in the pillow and glanced around. He had never heard that sound before.  It sounded like it came from his phone, but that wasn’t his ringtone. So what _was_ it? 

 

The “dinging” sounded again and this time Spencer was _sure_ it had come from his phone since he was staring right at it.  Confused, Spencer reached out and picked up the slightly scuffed up old flip phone.  When he flipped the cover up, he was shocked to see the words “2 new messages” illuminated on the screen.

 

 _Text messages_ , he thought as his face split into a grin. He had, literally, never gotten one of those before.      

 

Barely able to contain himself, Spencer quickly clicked “ok” and what he saw in his inbox made his heart flip in his chest.

 

_Derek: Good Morning, Pretty Boy_

_Derek_ :  _So happy I finally got those digits._

_Derek: I can flirt with you any time I want now ;p_

 

Spencer giggled as he covered his face with his pillow, cheeks burning and chest feeling like it was filling up with balloons.  Derek was _such_ a flirt.

  
Grinning, Spencer lifted his face away from the pillows and typed a response as quickly as he could (making a number of errors he had to go back and painstakingly correct). 

 

_Spencer: Good Morning, Derek_

_Spencer: I thought you wanted my number to check on my safety_

_Spencer: Not to “flirt”_

_Spencer: Am I going to regret giving it to you?:p_

Spencer chewed at his bottom lip, hoping Derek would know he was kidding. 

 

_Derek: Haha!  I love that little sassy side of you, Pretty Boy_

_Derek: Who knows? Maybe you’ll regret it a little bit…_

_Derek: I know how much you blush when I tease you_

_Derek: But I also know you reaaaallly like it when I flirt with you, baby ;p_

_Derek: And I really like it that I can get you all worked up like that_

 

Spencer blushed at that; he couldn’t help it. But he laughed too.  That was one thing he liked about Derek; he was consistent.  Derek was a shameless flirt, and Spencer didn’t always quite know how to flirt back.  But he liked that Derek never seemed to give up on him.  Spencer smiled to himself as he re-read the words a few times before he glanced at the time display and realized it was approaching 8:30 and he had promised to cover a class for one of his advisors.  He tried to hold back a laugh as he began writing Derek a response.    

 

_Spencer: I have to get ready for class now, Derek._

_Spencer: So you’ll have to save the flirting for later_.

 

Spencer placed the phone down on the bed as he pushed himself to his feet, already hating that he had agreed to substitute.  He would have preferred nothing better than just wasting the morning away in bed texting with Derek.  It was honestly Spencer’s _first_ time sending text messages, but in the brief exchange he already knew why most of the people on his campus walked around with their heads down, grinning stupidly at their phone screens.

 

As Spencer began shrugging off his sleepshirt, he heard his phone “ding” again, and a smile returned to his lips unbidden.  When he picked up the phone and read Derek’s response, Spencer laughed out loud. 

 

_Derek: That a promise, Pretty Boy? ;p ;p ;p_

 Rolling his eyes, Spencer tossed the phone back on to his bed and grabbed his towel.  He decided that maybe he didn’t really have to figure out what this “thing” between him and Derek was right at this moment.  For right now, Spencer was having a good time. And, for once, he was going to let himself just live in the here and now. No use in worrying about the “what ifs,” he told himself.  It worked for a lot of other people, why not Spencer too?    

* * *

As Spencer watched the organic chemistry students shuffle out of the lecture he had just taught, most of them looking horrified and some of them _actually_ shooting him dirty looks, he couldn’t help but sigh.   It wasn’t _his_ fault that the subject matter seemed far too above their level of comprehension. Chemistry was chemistry.  They’d have to learn this stuff someday.  He just hoped Professor Mc Cafferty wouldn’t be too annoyed with him for jumping ahead in her syllabus. Then again, she was almost 8 months pregnant; there was very little that could get her riled up at this point.  She basically called it a victory when she could get up from a seated position. 

 

Smiling to himself, he quickly packed up his notes and made his way out of the large lecture hall.  He had made it almost halfway out of the Sciences wing when he felt someone come up alongside him.  Looking to his left he saw the curly head and impish smile of Lizzie, the lab’s exuberant second-year. 

 

“ _Hey_ , so I heard you were subbing for Prof. Mac’s freshman Orgo class?” she asked, grinning.

 

Spencer’s brows furrowed. 

 

“How’d you know that?  She only asked me last night… Wait, did she ask you first and then you pushed it off on me?” he asked, laughing.

 

“Oh, God no!” Lizzie said.  “I am definitely not the person Prof. Mac would call to teach Orgo!  She was so mad at me for the mistakes I made in the final she gave to our first year refresher class.”     

 

Spencer laughed.  Oh, yeah. He did remember that.  Lizzie had come to them bawling afterwards, claiming that Prof Mac was a “monster.” Only to then say how much she loved her, a week later, after Prof Mac had sat with her for three private sessions to teach it to her personally and make sure Lizzie understood the material. 

 

“So how did you know I was teaching,” he asked as they continued walking.

 

Lizzie cringed a bit and gave him a guilty look.

 

“ _Well_ … I kind of heard this group of students talking about you while I was leaving the lab I’m TA-ing for,” she explained.

 

Spencer glanced at her confused.

 

“They said, and I quote, “that nerdy beanstalk makes Orgo impossible,”” she said with a snicker.

 

Spencer rolled his eyes. It wasn’t the worst he had ever heard.  And granted, he really hated teaching freshmen, so maybe the feelings were mutual.  They made _teaching_ Orgo impossible. 

 

“Well, they’ll be thanking me for giving them that formula.  Prof Mac _always_ puts it on the final,” he said with a satisfied smirk. 

 

“I’m sure they will.  You were a really tough tutor when I was struggling with chemical engineering, but I have to admit that I’ve never learned it as well as I learned it when you were teaching it and I’ve taken it in some capacity at least _three_ times.  You’re an effective teacher, even though you get a little scary when someone doesn’t get something,” she said as she nudged him.

 

Spencer blushed. 

 

“Okay, okay. Fine, I admit that,” he said, laughing. 

 

Their conversation was interrupted when Spencer heard that telltale “ding” again and felt his phone vibrate against his thigh from its position in his front pocket.  Eyes widening, he immediately looked down and grabbed at his phone. 

 

Lizzie watched on in confusion as Spencer flipped his phone open and a silly grin appeared on his face.  Her eyes doubled in size as she watched Spencer begin to reply, thumbs moving carefully over the keys as it seemed he was in deep thought about what he should respond.  But more than anything, she was floored by the fact that Spencer, mostly serious, and often “clueless” when it came to social norms _Spencer_ , was practically trying to hold back giggles as he responded.  Seeing Spencer Reid almost giggling was a first for her and she couldn’t help but wonder who was on the other side of those messages to make Spencer transform so completely. 

 

In fact, she had never even seen Spencer _text_ before.  Even though everyone had his number (mostly for “lab emergencies”), Spencer had made it clear that he preferred not to spend a lot of time on his cellphone.  He “didn’t really like technology,” he had told them.  So, feeling as if she was in some sort of Twilight Zone episode, Lizzie watched on until Spencer _actually_ let out a giggle. And then it was like her stupor had been broken. 

 

“Oh. My. _God_!” she exclaimed as she slapped him on the bicep.

 

“Ow!” Spencer yelped as he looked up at her accusatorily. “What was _that_ for?”

 

“Are you, Spencer Reid, _actually_ texting?!” she asked, neglecting to apologize, as she looked at him with wide eyes. “What the hell happened to “I don’t do technology?””

  
Spencer flushed hotly and immediately tucked his phone into his back pocket.

 

“Shut the front door!” Lizzie gasped, as if scandalized but seeming to love it all at the same time. 

 

“I cannot believe this.  And _that_ ,” she said as she pointed at his overall guilty expression and the way he was clutching the phone in his back pocket, “is the _clear_ sign you’re texting someone you have the hots for!  Whoa!  It’s like watching the discovery of some long lost civilization or something.”

 

Spencer frowned at her and rolled his eyes.

 

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, Lizzie,” he muttered, as he pushed past her and sped up his gait.  Spencer was taller than her by almost a foot.  He knew she had little chance of catching up.

 

But that didn’t stop her from giggling loud enough for him to hear.

 

“Have you ever heard “the lady doth protest too much?”” she called after him.  “I know you know your Shakespeare, Spencer!”

 

Spencer blushed up to his roots and he was glad that his back was to her as he stormed away. 

* * *

Spencer hadn’t thought his new “interest” in texting would have gained so much attention.  But by the end of the day, he had gotten confused or _suspicious_ looks from all the members of his lab.  Spencer had forced himself to put his phone on silent so that no one knew when the texts were coming in, but that did little to stop him from grinning like an idiot at all of Derek’s dumb jokes and corny come-ons. 

 

“See, see! What did I tell you,” Lizzie whispered from across the room.

 

Spencer glanced up at her, glaring at her slightly as he placed his phone in his bag.  Derek had just asked him what time he would be home so they could “play.” And when Spencer had responded that he thought it’d be around 7, Derek had whined that he wasn’t sure he could “last that long.”  That had made Spencer blush, and there was no hiding it as his other two lab-mates stared at him strangely.  

 

“So… I guess we’ve got to address the elephant in the room, or none of us are gonna get any work done,” Bryan said as he turned away from his laptop and looked at Spencer from across the table they were both sharing.    

 

Spencer cringed as he saw that he was now the center of attention.

 

“You seem to have a new buddy you’re texting with there, Spencer,” Bryan said as he smiled gently and shrugged.

 

“It’s a _girlfriend_ ,” Lizzie volunteered. “It _has_ to be a girlfriend. Look at how dopey he gets every time a text comes in!”

 

“Ugh, Lizzie, leave him alone,” Mackenzie chastised as she rolled her eyes.  She could see how red Spencer was getting under their scrutiny.

 

“Aww, Mack, I’m not trying to be mean. It’s SO cute!! Like, have any of you _literally_ ever seen Spencer act this way?” she asked as she looked around at the two older students.

 

“I am _right_ here,” Spencer said indignantly, wishing his face wasn’t getting as red as he felt it was.

 

“Calm down, Spencer,” Bryan said laughing softly.  “You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about.  It’s great if you’ve found someone you like.”

 

“I didn’t say-!” Spencer began to protest before he was cut off by Mackenzie.

 

“And _whoever_ it is, you don’t owe us an explanation,” she said kindly.

 

Spencer gave her a grateful smile.

 

“ _But_ , if you’re trying to hide it, you’re going to have to try to be a little less obvious about it, buddy,” she followed up with a wink.

 

Spencer groaned as he covered his face with his hands and looked down at the table, hoping he could disappear.  He heard the other people in the room laughing before they all quieted down and it seemed like they had returned to their work.  He could hear Lizzie and Mackenzie going over the research grant they were working on.  And when he finally braved a look up he saw that no one was paying attention to him.  Except Bryan that is.  Bryan was sitting right across from Spencer so all he had to do was lean a little closer to be able to whisper to Spencer without the girls overhearing.

 

“So… everything’s fine…?” he asked, giving Spencer an expectant look.

 

Spencer let out a small huff of air. 

 

“It’s really nothing _like_ that.  It’s just a friend I met online…” he murmured.

 

Bryan looked confused, brows coming together as if he couldn’t quite work out what Spencer was talking about.  But then a few seconds later realization dawned on him and he grinned.

 

“Oh!  Did you— You actually checked out those meet-up sites I recommended?  Oh man, that’s _great_ Spencer!  Honestly, I thought it was just in one ear and out the other, haha. Like you were just listening to me to be polite,” Bryan said with a grin.

 

Spencer looked down guiltily.  That kind of _had_ been what it was originally. That’s also probably why Spencer couldn’t even _remember_ the proper word and had ended up on the _hook-up_ site in the first place.  But if he had to be honest with himself, he didn’t regret it for one moment. 

 

“I’m really happy you’ve found a friend, Spencer. And, honestly if they can make you grin like that, I’m sure you guys’ll have a great time once you move to D.C.  It’s already clear they know just what to say to make you happy,” Bryan said. 

 

Spencer blushed again.  He was glad Bryan had assumed it was something _innocent._ Just a “friend,” not a guy who had seen Spencer practically naked.  If he wasn’t careful, he would definitely give away that he felt more than just “friendly” toward the person he was currently texting.  Bryan looked at him curiously, tilting his head as if he was about to ask a question, but Spencer was saved by the sound of Mackenzie’s chair scraping against the hardwood floor as she pushed herself to her feet.

 

“Ok, I’m ready for a coffee break,” she said as she yawned and stretched. 

 

“Spencer,” she said as she turned towards him and grinned. “I’m definitely treating you as an apology for being badgered by your so-called friends, so you can get whatever you’d like, but I’m gonna recruit you to help me carry them back.  Sound like a deal?”

 

Spencer returned her grin as he shot to his feet.

  
“Deal!” he said.  

* * *

When Spencer walked into his apartment, it was a little past 7:00.  It had been a long day and while Spencer would usually tumble onto the couch in an exhausted heap on a day like this, knowing that he had a video chat with Derek to look forward to had kept him pretty energized throughout the day.  So instead of hitting the couch, Spencer turned his coffee machine on as he undid his tie.  While the coffee was percolating, Spencer walked over to his computer and booted it up, knowing it needed a few good minutes to lurch itself back to life.  As he waited and the scent of the roasted coffee beans began to fill the air, Spencer started to worry about whether or not he should try to… “look nice” for Derek.

 

He blushed at the thought.  He was being silly.  Derek had seen him in his ridiculous pajamas with crazy hair and glasses. At least today he was still dressed from work—a dark button down and fitted jeans. His hair had been pretty manageable today as well.  And he had been able to wear his contacts all day without feeling like he wanted to switch to his glasses.  This was probably the most presentable he was ever going to get.  And Spencer didn’t like the foreign feeling of wanting to “look good” for someone else.  He wondered what _that_ said about him and those developing feelings he had for Derek… Huffing as he shook his head, Spencer walked back to the kitchen and filled up a steaming cup of coffee.  By the time he added his (heaping) spoons of sugar and creamer, he had received a text message from Derek, asking if he was home. 

 

Smiling, Spencer picked up his mug and made his way over to the computer.  Double-clicking the video chat icon, Spencer waited patiently as it logged him in and a few seconds later, he was greeted by Derek’s wide smile.

 

“Hey, Pretty Boy,” Derek said with a grin. He was sitting in his bedroom again this time, wearing a dark red long-sleeved t-shirt.  

 

Spencer smiled back.

 

“It feels like we’ve been talking all day. I didn’t feel like I missed you as much as I usually do,” Spencer said without thinking.

 

Once the words reached his ears, however, he grew pale and his eyes widened.

 

Derek laughed and waved his hands to calm Spencer down before he could have a meltdown.

 

“I felt the same way, Pretty Boy!” Derek reassured him.  “Seriously.  I always miss you when we hang up at the end of the night.”

  
The words made Spencer’s cheeks warm.  Even though he was still pretty mortified that he had let slip something like that, it made it slightly better knowing that Derek didn’t feel uncomfortable or put-off by it.  Then again, he could just be being _nice_ , but if that was the case Derek must have the world’s best poker face because he didn’t even flinch when Spencer said it. In fact, his eyes seemed a bit warmer after hearing it.  Not wanting to let himself think too much into that, Spencer busied himself with taking a few long sips from his coffee as he averted his eyes from Derek’s.

 

Derek chuckled.

 

“What? Giving me the silent treatment?” he asked.

 

And Spencer glanced up at him, pouting.

 

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop teasing you,” Derek said as he leaned back in his chair. “By the way, you look extra nice today, kid.”

 

Spencer sat up a little straighter as he put his coffee cup down.  He didn’t want it to be so obvious that he was preening under Derek’s compliments, but it was nice to hear him say that. 

 

“Ah… I had to teach a class for one of my advisors today.  Had to look a little less… weird and awkward?” Spencer suggested as he shrugged noncommittally.

 

“Nah, don’t say that, Pretty Boy.  You look gorgeous every time I see you,” Derek said as he leaned forward, voice getting deeper.

 

Spencer looked into his eyes, and, again, like clockwork, he felt his heart pound against his ribcage when Derek looked back at him. 

 

“Do you believe me, Spencer?” Derek asked as he licked his lips.  Spencer couldn’t hold back the tremble that that image caused. 

 

“I… I don’t know Derek,” he whispered. 

 

“If you’re still saying that then I’m not doing my job right,” Derek said as he feigned disappointment and shook his head.

 

Spencer licked his lips nervously.

 

“I… I know you _say_ that, but really… Derek, I _know_ I’m weird.  I’m too tall, and I’m skinny, and I say weird things that people don’t get or it makes them uncomfortable.  I just… I don’t _get_ why you say all these things to me.  No one else would,” Spencer murmured. 

 

“So… are you calling _me_ weird, or saying that I have bad taste, for being attracted to you?  That’s kind of insulting, Spencer,” Derek said as he sat back and frowned, resting his chin on his fist, as if he was in deep thought. 

 

Spencer looked up at him with a shocked expression.

 

“Of _course_ I’m not saying that!” he said, panicked.

 

Derek laughed, dropping the serious expression.

 

“You see how crazy that sounds?  Clearly I’m attracted to you, baby.  I wouldn’t be here every night if I didn’t like seeing that body of yours, or those pretty pink lips, or hearing the sweet little moans that you make.  Shit, Spencer, I think about you all throughout my day. And, believe me, I should _not_ be doing that in my line of work,” Derek said as he let out a low chuckle and shook his head. 

 

Spencer blushed.  He couldn’t help it as he looked away from Derek.  How could Derek _say_ things like that so openly?  Of course they made Spencer feel good, but it was still embarrassing.    

 

“See, you’re doing it right now.  I love it when you blush and get all shy.  And I love it even more because I know that under that shy exterior there’s a little freak hiding,” Derek said as he laughed.

 

Spencer’s face became even redder as he looked up at Derek and pouted.

 

“I’m not- I’m not a _freak_ ,” Spencer defended himself.

 

“Baby, it’s okay.  I _like_ that you’re a little freaky.  I want to see _more_ of that,” Derek said as he looked at Spencer meaningfully and licked his lips.

 

Spencer rolled his eyes, as he tried to ignore how hot his body was becoming at Derek’s words.

 

“Don’t deny that you like that you can be naughty with me.  You like when we get a little dirty, don’t you Spencer?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer glanced up.  Derek’s voice had changed again. It was obvious he was starting to get turned on, and Spencer swallowed thickly.  When Derek was turned on it turned _Spencer_ on.  And he didn’t really understand why, but he really felt like he would do anything to keep Derek looking at him like that. 

 

“You like it, don’t you?” Derek asked again, voice making it clear that he expected an answer.

 

Spencer felt his ears burning at this point.  There was no way he could _admit_ that to Derek, even though it was, for the most part, _true_.  He liked how it made him feel when Derek was _watching_ him doing naughty things.  He wasn’t exactly sure if he would do them if Derek _wasn’t_ there, telling him what to do.  Then again, he hadn’t actually really tried it. 

 

“Oh, you don’t want to tell me?” Derek asked, voice sounding amused.  “Too shy?”

 

Spencer squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lips as he nodded quickly.

 

“That’s okay,” Derek purred. “I know you like it.  You don’t have to tell me today.  I just like knowing that you like this as much as I do.  That’s all I really need.  But since you can’t tell me how much you like it, do you want to show me instead?”

 

Spencer looked up at Derek, and seeing the wide grin he knew exactly what he wanted.

 

“Um… wh-what do you want to see?” Spencer asked shyly.

 

Derek’s smile got bigger and his eyes softened.

 

“Hmm,” he said as if he really had to think about it.  “I want you to show me if you’re turned on.”

 

Spencer looked down.  He definitely _was_ turned on.  His jeans had started to get tight as soon as Derek said the words “naughty” and “dirty.”  His erection was already tenting the fabric and he knew that if he stood up Derek would obviously be able to see it.   He glanced back up at Derek and could see him looking at him with encouraging eyes.

 

Swallowing deeply and steeling his nerves Spencer pushed to his feet and allowed himself to stand there on display for Derek.

 

“Mm, I love that I can turn you on just with my words, Pretty Boy,” Derek said as he looked at him appreciatively.  “That just means you’ll be so sensitive when I finally get my hands on you.” 

 

Spencer trembled and had to fight to hold back a moan as his mind flooded with thoughts of seeing Derek, in _person_.

 

“Come on, I wanna see what’s under those jeans.  At least down to your underwear baby.  You can do that for me, can’t you?” Derek asked. 

 

Spencer hesitated.  It was just underwear.  But it was embarrassing. It would be _so_ obvious that he was hard with nothing but the thin fabric of his blue and gray striped briefs.  Plus, what if he had a _wet spot_.   

 

“No need to be shy.  I mean, you saw _all_ of me last time,” Derek reminded with a laugh.

 

Spencer blushed, being reminded.  That was true.  With a deep breath, Spencer fumbled with the buttons of his jeans and quickly opened them, jerking them down a little bit, revealing the bulge that his jeans had been slightly concealing.  

 

“Mm, look at how hard you got for me. That’s so good, baby.  But, come on, I want you to take the jeans all the way off, and let me get a good look at you,” Derek encouraged.  “I’ve never gotten a chance to see those long legs of yours.  I actually love that you’re so tall, Spencer.”

 

Spencer couldn’t deny the way Derek’s comment made him feel warm in his stomach.  Whenever Derek spoke, Spencer really found himself believing the things he was saying; like they were actually _true_.  With shaking hands Spencer pushed down his jeans and let them drop to his knees.  He was kicking them off before he could rethink it and talk himself out of it.  And then he was standing there in his button down and bare thighs.

 

“You’re gorgeous, baby boy,” Derek praised him, voice coming out in a bit of a groan.

  
Spencer almost laughed, feeling a mixture of relieved and desired.  Derek was looking at him like he was a steak dinner. 

 

“Touch yourself a little for me, baby,” Derek asked, eyes roving up and down Spencer’s lithe form. 

 

Spencer blushed.  But, without asking any questions, he brought his hand down to his cloth-covered cock and palmed himself lightly.  Even that tentative touch, underneath Derek’s intense gaze, was enough for Spencer to gasp and buck into his palm slightly.

 

“Damn, Spencer,” Derek breathed.  “Baby, I feel like if I touched you you’d come for me right away.  I love how sensitive you are.  Does it feel better knowing I’m watching you?”

 

Spencer whimpered, unwilling to answer him.  But Derek could see for himself what he was doing to Spencer.

 

“Ok, ok,” Derek said chuckling, but his voice was slightly strained, sounding as if, he too, was having trouble keeping control.  “You can sit down, alright?”

 

Spencer immediately sat back down in the chair.  As he looked down he blushed at how obscenely his underwear was tenting and he could already see a damp patch starting to form.  He didn’t know if Derek could see it from this far away, but he hoped he couldn’t. 

 

“Let’s get that shirt off, huh, Spencer?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer glanced up at him.

 

“So I’ll be just in my underwear?” he asked shyly.

 

“Yup.  You know how badly I want to see you, don’t you Spencer?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer bit his lip as he looked away.  Just sitting there completely naked except for his underwear…?  Could he do that?  But then he heard rustling and watched on as Derek shirked off his dark t-shirt and those impressive pectoral muscles came into his view.  But Derek didn’t stop there. Spencer gulped as Derek grinned at him and stood to his feet.  Spencer watched as Derek unbuckled his own jeans, quickly pushing them down to reveal black Calvin Klein underwear and powerful muscular thighs.  Even through the black underwear, Spencer could tell Derek was excited too.  He licked his lips as he watched Derek palm at himself, adjusting his cock in his underwear.  And then Derek chuckled softly as he reseated himself and locked eyes with Spencer. 

 

“I thought it was only fair,” Derek said as he shrugged.  “Can’t have my Pretty Boy being the only one, can I?”

 

Spencer shook his head ruefully and let out a breathy laugh.

 

“That, or you’re trying to make me feel like a coward if I don’t do it,” Spencer said playfully with an eyebrow arched.

 

Derek frowned slightly.

 

“It’s like I’ve always said, baby.  The ball’s in your court.  You don’t want to do it, you just have to say no,” Derek reminded him seriously.

 

Spencer flushed.  Well, that was the problem.  He wanted to do it; he just wanted someone else to convince him it was okay for him to want that.  Or, at least, he wanted to not _think_ as much as he was thinking.  Thinking too much made him self-conscious. It made him imagine how awkward he must look to Derek.  If he could just block all the noise out of his head, he could just do what Derek asked.  Because, at the end of the day, seeing the way Derek looked at him like he was the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen made Spencer feel so good he could get hard from just that.

 

Nodding, Spencer reached up to the collar of his shirt and began to unbutton it.

 

“You’re doing that because you want to, right Spencer?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer looked away and blushed, but nodded slightly, and it seemed Derek was pleased.

 

“Ok, well then I want to see what you want to show me, Pretty Boy,” Derek said, the playful tone returning to his voice. 

 

Spencer smiled shyly as he continued unbuttoning his shirt.  And when it was finally open, he shrugged it off his shoulders. His undershirt soon followed and then he was sitting there, skin bare for Derek’s eyes to see, in nothing but his underwear.  He had to fight the urge to curl in on himself or at least cross his arms over his chest.  He felt _so_ skinny and awkward. Like there was no way that Derek could find anything about this attractive.

 

“Look at me, Spencer,” Derek said.

 

Spencer’s eyes rose tentatively and he was met with the searing heat of Derek’s gaze. 

 

“If I could touch you right now, you have no idea what I’d do to you baby boy.  You are fucking gorgeous and I’m kicking myself right now that I’m across the country instead of right there with you.  You have no need to be so self-conscious, Spencer.  You’re insanely sexy, baby.  But I can’t deny that it’s actually good for me that you’re so shy.  I’m going crazy over here thinking that anyone else could see you like this,” Derek groaned. 

 

Spencer flushed as his eyes dropped back down again.  But this time he was trying to hide a smile. 

 

“You don’t have to worry…” he whispered. “I wouldn’t show this to anyone else but you.”

  
Derek groaned loudly this time and Spencer glanced up again to see Derek rub himself through his underwear.

 

“You act innocent, but you know exactly what you do to me, don’t you kid?” Derek asked.

  
Spencer smiled again, this time a little less shyly.

 

“Ok, you want to play that game, huh?” Derek asked grinning. “I want you to touch yourself for me, then.  Show me what you won’t show anybody else but me.”

 

Spencer held Derek’s gaze for a moment before his eyes slid shut and he ran his right hand slowly down his chest, then over his bellybutton and down over the hard bulge in his underwear. As his hand stroked and squeezed at his cock and his hips began to undulate, Spencer let out soft breathy moans.  Even though his eyes were closed he could feel Derek’s eyes on him like lasers and he could hear the sound of Derek’s own pants. He knew that Derek was touching himself as well.    

 

“Baby, I need you to do something for me,” Derek’s strained voice broke into Spencer’s thoughts.

  
Spencer’s eyes fluttered open and he looked up at Derek, eyes half-lidded, and he was nodding before Derek had even finished talking. 

 

Derek licked his lips and smiled at him.

 

“I want you to suck one of your fingers, baby,” Derek instructed him.        

 

Perplexed, Spencer’s brows furrowed, but he was too far into the moment to question it as he slowly brought his index finger up to his mouth and wrapped his lips around it sucking. The resultant groan that escaped Derek’s lips was enough for Spencer to keep going, lips quirking up in a small smile as he listened to Derek. 

 

“Ok,” Derek panted. “Now I want you to rub your nipple with that finger, baby.  Get it all hard and wet.  And I want you to keep rubbing your cock, ok?  Can you do that for me?” 

 

Spencer blushed, but he nodded.  Pulling his slick finger from in between his lips he brought it down to one of his nipples.  When he touched the wet tip against his sensitive skin, he let out a loud gasp, shocked by the sensation.

 

“Oh, that’s so good.  Keep going, baby.  You don’t know how sexy you are right now,” Derek encouraged him. 

 

Spencer circled his nipple with his wet finger, feeling as it tightened and perked up until it was a hard little nub, as he continued to rub at his hard cock.  Spencer was so horny.  All he wanted to do was touch himself, bare skin to skin, but he still couldn’t do that with Derek watching. 

 

“Come on, baby,” Derek purred.  “Can you take those off for me and show me what you’re touching?  I wanna see all of that pretty, pink body,” Derek purred.

 

Spencer flushed at Derek’s suggestion, and the octave of his voice. Spencer bet Derek would sound sexy even when he wasn’t talking about sexy things.  The man could probably make _taxes_ sound sensual.   But the suggestion quickly reminded Spencer that he really couldn’t just get _naked_.  It was still too much for him. 

 

“I-I can’t,” Spencer responded, bringing both his hands to a halt, as he glanced around, voice dropping down into a whisper.

 

“Why?” Derek asked, with a raised eyebrow, sounding disappointed.  His hand had stopped moving underneath the table as well. 

 

“Well… because I’m in m-my living room,” Spencer confessed, face blossoming into an even darker blush. 

 

Derek laughed, sounding slightly relieved.

 

“Oh, that’s all, is it?  Well, baby, let’s take this into the _bedroom_ ,” he said teasingly as he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Spencer flushed again.

 

“I _can’t_ ,” he whined.

 

“Why _not_ ,” Derek echoed back, mimicking Spencer’s whine.

 

Spencer shot him a glare, but answered anyway.

 

“Well… I have a desktop,” he said.

 

“A what?” Derek asked, confusion evident on his face.

 

“A _desktop_.  You know, a stationary computer that doesn’t-” Spencer began to rattle off.

 

“I _know_ what a desktop computer is, Spencer,” Derek said, cutting him off. “I just… You don’t have a _laptop_?”

 

“N-no… Never really thought I needed one,” Spencer mumbled. 

 

Derek chuckled again, voice a mixture of disbelief and actual amusement.

 

“Ok, ok.  That’s fine… Well, you could always just strip in the living room,” Derek said, giving him a smile. “It’s not like you’re not practically there already.”  

 

Spencer pouted at him.

 

“I’m just _saying_.  You live by yourself, Spencer.  Who’s gonna know,” Derek asked, voice getting a little lower. “Well, except _me_ …and you.”

 

Spencer blushed again, and nibbled on his lip briefly as he thought about it.  Of course, since his one and only source of the internet was in his living room, Spencer _had_ touched himself outside of the privacy of his bedroom before; he had no choice.  However, with Derek had been the first time he had done so in front of another person, and so wantonly, at that.  But Spencer wasn’t…ignorant to the benefits of the internet.  He didn’t indulge in it often, but sometimes he would find some…’material’ online and would help himself to it.  Although those times, few and far between that they were, often found him hunched over his desk, trying to conceal what he was doing, and trying to finish as quickly as possible.  In any respect, being completely nude in his living room felt completely _wrong_.

 

Spencer looked back at Derek who had been waiting patiently, but all he could do was give the older man a sad and helpless frown.  Spencer was horny.  He wanted to come and he wanted to do that with _Derek_. But… getting naked.  Showing Derek all of him? That still felt way too… exposed.  But Spencer was okay with touching himself underneath his clothes, if Derek wanted to see. He could do that, hoping that would be a good compromise for now. 

 

But before Spencer could open his mouth to explain himself to Derek, he heard loud barking and Derek winced as he glanced off screen. 

 

“Man… that’s Clooney.  Shit.  I kind of dropped everything when I came in the door and definitely neglected taking him for his walk.  I think if I ignore him any longer I’ll have a big mess to clean up.  So, unfortunately, I’m gonna have to go. Sorry we couldn’t… ah… “finish,” baby,” Derek said sheepishly.  

 

Spencer just blushed, at a loss for words.

 

“Talk to you tomorrow, Pretty Boy?” Derek asked, voice sounding hopeful.

 

“O-of course,” Spencer rushed out.

 

“Sweet dreams,” Derek said as he blew a kiss at the screen before signing off.

 

Sitting there, staring at the screen and missing Derek’s presence already, Spencer was unsatisfied and frustrated.  He felt like kicking himself.

* * *

 

The next day, Spencer bought a laptop. 

 

* * *

A/N:    And then... things got even _kinkier_. ;p   Hahha. No, but seriously. This fic is supposed to be SO much kink, but it’s been coming out sooo cute.  I don’t even know what to do with myself! I guess these boys are just writing themselves, huh?  Anyway, maybe Spencer will _finally_ get naked next chapter. Haha. Can’t push baby genius too quickly, can we? 

 

See you next time, xoxo!

 


	7. Chapter 7

A/N:   Thanks for everyone’s great feedback and comments!  I’m so happy you’re enjoying this fic! :D  _This_ chapter is 90% porn; “literally” and figuratively.  You’ll see what I mean --__-- haha. 

 

(And a special Happy (belated) Birthday shout-out to DXA.  I was only two hours short of your birthday, but I did try! :p)

 

Hope you guys enjoy the chapter. (Unbeta-read and written in one day, so hopefully not TOO many errors! haha)

xoxo

* * *

This was starting to get serious. 

 

Following lunch earlier that day, Spencer had made a trip to a major electronics retailer to make a particular impulsive purchase.   Now, sitting on his bed, Spencer’s eyes kept darting around him as he configured his new laptop, as if he believed someone could see through the layers of brick, plaster and wood, straight into his bedroom. 

 

He felt pretty guilty that he had gone out and spent almost $600 on an item, the sole purpose of which was that he could more privately engage in…explicit behaviors with his internet “friend.”  Spencer frowned at that.  What _was_ Derek to him, exactly? 

 

Spencer wasn’t naïve enough to think this could be considered a “relationship.”  Yes, Spencer liked Derek. A lot.  And he was excited about the idea of coming home every night and seeing his face.

 

But none of that meant more than that they were two “curious” guys playing around on the internet.  While Derek flirted a lot—calling him “Baby” and telling him how much he “missed him” throughout the day—they had never had a conversation of what that all _meant._ Was it just for fun; a way to kill some time?  Or would Derek actually want something _more_ out of this once Spencer got to D.C.? 

And although Derek had made it clear that he was “bisexual,” Spencer, at least, was still not even quite sure what his ever growing interest in Derek meant about himself in terms of his own sexuality.  He had never even tried to look up gay sex (although he pretty much understood the mechanics, as it sometimes just happened to come up throughout all the reading he had done).  He had only ever thought of it in a clinical way.  He had never considered himself as an _actor_.  Or what it would feel like to have someone touch him that way. 

 

The thought made Spencer’s heart thud in his chest and his hand still on the laptop’s keyboard.  What would it _be_ like?  Sure, whenever he and Derek had their little video sessions, Spencer found himself fantasizing about the feel of Derek’s body.  Being able to touch his warm skin, or feel the strength of his muscles as he flexed.  He definitely appreciated the _look_ of Derek, and knew that he was attracted to him.  But Derek was _objectively_ an exceptionally attractive man. 

 

His thoughts of Derek were admittedly sexual, but only in the sense that Derek _exuded_ sex and confidence.  Spencer knew that Derek would know what he was doing when it came to sex; the man clearly had much more experience.  What Spencer had never done, however, was really imagine what it would be like to have Derek touching _him_.  What it would feel like to have Derek’s lips on his.  Or to feel the heat of his skin.  Or to feel Derek’s big arms wrap around him and hold him close.  And he had never, never, imagined what it would feel like to have Derek touching him…where he needed it most.

 

He blushed at the thought.  He was embarrassed.  Was it okay to use Derek for such…wanton thoughts?  Spencer wasn’t completely innocent.  When he signed off with Derek his body was usually thrumming with pleasure.  And when he went to bed at night, his dreams were often filled with the sound of Derek’s voice and the heavy weight of his eyes.  Derek made Spencer feel sexy.  Like something in him had been unleashed.  And Derek’s words had helped Spencer be more open (at least with himself) about pursuing his sexual fantasies.  But his fantasies only ever included what they had already done.  Usually just the thought of Derek’s voice—deep and demanding, or breathy with his own pleasure—was enough to get Spencer worked up.  Spencer hadn’t _needed_ to go much further than that.

 

But, now?  Now Spencer wanted to know more about what came _next_.  With the way Derek looked at him, it was clear he desired him.  Did Derek want to do more…? Did Derek want to _see_ more?  Derek encouraged Spencer a lot, but he didn’t talk very much about his _own_ wants.  Did Derek want to kiss him?  Did Derek want to put his mouth on _other_ places? 

 

Spencer trembled and dropped his face into his hands, not quite sure if he was prepared for where his thoughts were taking him.  His mind was now filled with Derek’s lips, his eyes, his hands.  And Spencer couldn’t deny that those thoughts were turning him on.  But his imagination was stunted.  He could _only_ imagine.  And other than knowing that Derek’s touch on him would probably feel like fire, Spencer had no idea what else to expect. 

 

Biting his lip as he lifted his face away from his hands, Spencer stared down at the waiting computer screen.  Everything was set up.  The system was connected to the internet.    

 

He could just…look it up, couldn’t he?  For research purposes, of course. 

 

Glancing around his room worriedly, his eyes fell on the open window and Spencer scrambled off his bed to pull the blinds down.  The room was cast in shadows.  It was the middle of the afternoon but Spencer still felt like a creep.  He was going to surf for porn.  Gay porn.  In the middle of the day. 

 

Pushing down his reservations, Spencer quickly opened a browser and typed in his search string.  Google returned thousands of results and, blushing, Spencer clicked the first in the list.  His screen was immediately filled with videos and his eyes widened.  There was just so MUCH of it.  His eyes moved quickly, reading the multitude of titles and categories, and he felt overwhelmed.  Not to mention what he could _see_ in the image previews of all the videos.  Spencer gulped nervously, but he couldn’t deny that his heart was racing a bit with anticipation.

 

Hand slowly moving over the mouse pad, Spencer tried to figure out what he wanted to click on first.  He wanted something that would be… relatable for him.  Spencer knew he probably wasn’t the type of guy who would ever be featured in a porn video, but finding someone that sort of looked like him would make it easier to imagine himself in that position.  (The thought made him blush).  And Derek… well, finding someone with Derek’s build should probably not be all that hard; Derek was built like a Greek statue.  (The thought made Spencer smile).

 

Eyes roving over the many different descriptions, Spencer’s brows furrowed as he came across a word in many of the video titles he just wasn’t familiar with. 

 

“What’s a _twink_?” he asked himself, as he studied the preview image that his mouse was hovering over.

 

The title of the video was “Hung Hunk Fucks Needy Twink.” 

 

But it had caught his eye.  He could see someone who looked young and thinly-built (seeming even smaller than him, at least in the height department) being embraced by a tall and muscular man.  Spencer licked his lips unconsciously, mind already imagining himself and Derek in that position.  There wasn’t any harm in taking just a peek, was there…?  That’s what he had come on here for in the first place. 

 

With a trembling hand, he clicked on the video.  It loaded quickly, and Spencer’s room was immediately flooded with the sound of breathy moaning.  Eyes widening, Spencer scrambled to pause the video as he jabbed at the volume button with his other hand.  His heart was hammering in his chest, and he let out a nervous breath. 

 

_Headphones, headphones!!_ Spencer thought to himself as he searched around his room. 

 

Finding a pair—he couldn’t even remember the last time he had had a need to use them—Spencer plugged them in and, after situating them over his ears, resumed the video.

 

He was floored.  The video opened on to a scene already underway.  The camera focused on the face of a youthful looking young man with light brown hair and side-swept bangs that hung over his eyes.   His eyes were closed as his head hung back, mouth opening in breathy moans.  Hearing the boy’s pleasure, Spencer immediately felt his body react.  He couldn’t see what was happening, but he could tell he felt good.

 

The camera then panned down to show that the boy was reclining on a bed, holding himself up on his elbows, as the shoulders of a muscular man moved between his legs.  Spencer gulped, watching the man’s head bobbing up and down, a tell-tale sign of what he was doing.  And then when the camera switched positions, Spencer felt his mouth go dry as he watched the older, burlier man lovingly lick and suck at the younger boy’s cock.   His cheeks burned, but he couldn’t pull his gaze away. 

 

Eyes riveted to the screen, Spencer watched as the boy started to buck his hips up, a chorus of “yes” and “please” slipping from his lips, and the man’s big hand went up to press down on the boy’s stomach, keeping him in place, the width of it almost spanning from hip to hip. 

 

“Be a good boy,” the man instructed as he pulled off of the boy’s cock, leaving it wet and glistening.

 

The boy let out a sound of displeasure as he sat up, but Spencer could see that he was smirking, clearly enjoying himself.

 

“Oh yeah?” the boy asked.  “Well then give me something to be good for.”

 

The man laughed as he rose to his feet and Spencer let out a gasp of his own as he saw how much bigger he was than the thin boy lying prone on the bed below him.  The man climbed up on to the bed, crawling over the boy.  And then they were kissing, hot and wet, the sounds of their tongues sliding across the other’s filling Spencer’s ears. 

 

Spencer was enthralled by it.  How they held each other, hips moving together, one grinding down and the other bucking up.  He knew that, in reality, these two probably didn’t even know each other outside of the scene they were acting in, but something about how passionately they were holding each other—how pleasured their moans sounded—made Spencer’s stomach clench pleasantly.

 

He realized that he wanted that.  He wanted to be held like that.  He wanted someone to want him as badly as it seemed those two wanted each other.  He watched as the two men’s hands explored each other’s bodies.  The bigger man’s hand had found its way in to the boy’s hair, tugging at it to get the boy in the position he wanted him.  The boy’s hands were scrabbling down the man’s back, nails running down and over his hips and hands coming down to rest on the man’s bottom, squeezing at the firm globes.  They were so possessive of each other.  Even in the way they were kissing.  The man sometimes bit and pulled at the boy’s lips and every time he did the boy’s moans would rise in pitch, almost sounding close to a keen.  The boy seemed to _love_ it. 

 

And Spencer couldn’t help it; he thought about _Derek_.  Would Derek do something like that?  Bite at his lips and pull his hair, while calling him “Baby?”  Would Spencer make _sounds_ like that?   Breath coming out slightly more labored, Spencer tentatively moved his hand down to palm at his crotch.  He was already hard.   

 

“Hurry up and _fuck me_ already,” the boy growled out against the man’s lips.

 

The man laughed as he sat back, straddling the boy’s narrows hips.  He used those big hands to stroke down the boy’s chest, running his thumb over his nipples, and then down his hips and back up again.  The boy trembled as he looked up at the man towering above him.

 

“You’re always so impatient,” the man said as he tweaked one of the boy’s perky pink nipples.  “But you can barely handle it when I start fucking you.”

 

The boy pouted and then licked his lips.

 

“Mmm, but I just want it so bad.  You’re the only one who knows how to give it to me so good,” the boy purred.

 

The man seemed to like that, as his face took on a more serious expression and he shifted so that he was no longer straddling the boy’s hips.   

 

“Get on your hands and knees,” he said, voice deeper now, laced with lust.

 

The boy almost giggled as he scrambled to get into position.  Spencer watched as he laid his head down on his arms, back arched steeply and bottom sticking up in the air, as if he knew exactly what was coming next.

 

Spencer, however, was not prepared for it when the man sidled up behind the boy, pulling his cheeks apart and exposing the twitching hole between.  The thought of something like that being done to him had Spencer blushing up to his roots. But apparently the boy had no problem with being so exposed, as he let out a long, low moan. 

  
And then the man was _licking_ him there.  The boy’s cries were loud and unashamed. And Spencer could only stare on, shocked, as the man continued to use his mouth on the boy as if he were dining on Ambrosia and the boy continued to moan as if he was very near to losing his mind.  From the looks of it, what the man was doing to the boy felt _very_ good, and Spencer couldn’t help but squeeze his legs together to relieve some of the pressure from his own stiff cock.  Spencer didn’t often watch porn, but the few times he had dabbled in it had been nothing like what he was seeing on the screen now.  That had been PG-rated compared to this. 

 

Then, with a loud smack of his lips, and a literal smack to the boy’s bottom, the man was pulling back, grinning.  Spencer watched as he reached over for something on the bed and came back with a black bottle.  As the man opened and squeezed a dollop of a clear gel-looking substance on to his fingers, Spencer blushed and realized what it was.  _Lube_.

 

The boy seemed to be excited, as he reached behind himself, spreading his cheeks apart and holding himself open, as the older man began rubbing the lube over his hole.  Spencer couldn’t fathom himself ever being able to be as bold as this boy was.  Sure, he had _finally_ gotten around to letting Derek “see” him somewhat unclothed, but even that had taken a lot of coaxing.  If Derek asked him to do _this_ … Spencer let out a literal groan. 

 

But his groan was echoed by a moan from the boy in front of him.  And Spencer watched on, wide-eyed and fascinated, as the man sunk two of his thick fingers inside of the boy.  The camera zoomed in to the shot and showed as the slickened fingers dipped in and out, in and out, stretching the tight muscle.  Spencer couldn’t imagine how that could feel good, but the boy’s moans were reaching almost a fever pitch and it was making Spencer squirm.  He couldn’t believe it but he was starting to imagine himself in that position. With _Derek’s_ hands doing that to him…  

 

“On your back,” the man said, suddenly, as he slipped his fingers out.   

 

The boy quickly turned over and flopped down on his back, lifting his own legs and exposing himself, as if he couldn’t wait for the man to come to him.  The man seemed to be pleased with that, as he smirked down at him, with a devilishly handsome look on his face.  And then Spencer watched as the man squeezed more lube on to his fingers and brought his hand down to stroke at his own prominent erection. 

 

Spencer hadn’t paid much attention to this part of the man’s physique before; most of the camera footage had been focused on the boy.  But now that he got a chance to get a good look at him, as he slicked himself up, he found that he wasn’t disgusted; he wasn’t put off.  But while he did find the man attractive, his heart didn’t speed up the way it did when he was looking at Derek.  Because he _wasn’t_ Derek.  Watching him, all Spencer found himself thinking about was what Derek would look like, looming over him like that, with a smile on his face as he… prepared himself.  And how Derek was more attractive, and more alluring, and more…”well-endowed” than this guy.    

 

Blushing at these thoughts, Spencer tried to calm himself down.  But then the man was grabbing the boy by his ankles as he leaned over him, and positioned himself.  And then he was pushing in.  The boy let out a sharp gasp, that turned into a shuddery moan.  Spencer gaped as he watched the man’s length disappear into a space that seemed impossibly too small to accommodate him.  But he did.  He fit.  And then they were pressed flush together, the man panting and the boy mewling.  Their lips found each other’s again as they began rocking together.    

 

The sound of moans, breathy gasps, grunts and whines filled the air, along with the audible slick sound of bodies moving together.  The man maneuvered the boy’s body until he was bent almost in half, and then, when he had in him in just the position he wanted him, he began to set a brutal pace, pounding in hard and fast.  Spencer watched on, fixated, as the boy’s face scrunched up in what looked to be a mixture of pleasure and pain.  But his cries were nothing but pleasure, as his head tilted back and his mouth fell open.    

 

“Unh!  Yes!  Harder, harder!! Come _on_!!” the boy encouraged.

 

The man let out what sounded like a grunt of approval, before he swooped down to lick and bite at the younger one’s neck, the pace of his thrusts never ceasing.  The boy’s moans got higher and breathier and Spencer watched as one of his hands slinked in between their bodies and the boy started to stroke himself in time with the thrusts.  Spencer’s hand found itself between his own legs, palming at his almost painful erection. 

 

Listening to the sounds flooding into his headphones, Spencer closed his eyes and his mind was immediately filled with an image of Derek leaning over him, body covering his, as he whispered in his ear saying things like “Baby,” and “Pretty Boy,” and “ _mine_.”  Shuddering, Spencer whimpered as he increased the pressure of his palm, trying to get any relief that he could.  He was shocked, but he found himself _wanting_ that…  He couldn’t imagine what it would actually feel like, but Spencer already knew that if he was ever going to try it, Derek was the one he wanted to try it with.    

 

“I’m coming!  I’m coming!” the boy shouted, and Spencer’s eyes snapped open.

 

He watched as the boy arched up, a look of euphoria on his face, and came, streaks of come painting his upper chest.  The man’s pace increased, as he sought his own release, moaning “Yeah, baby, yeah,” as he grinned down at the blissed-out boy.  Then, with a grunt, the man pulled out, stroking himself furiously before he tensed and came on the boy’s stomach, adding to the mess already there. 

 

“Was that good enough for you?” the man asked, breath sounding slightly labored.

 

The boy grinned up at him from his position on the bed.

 

“For now… but I’d like you to top that in round two,” he said.

 

And then the video screen went black.  Spencer blinked and swallowed.  His heart was pounding and he was still so painfully hard.  That had been… so _hot_.  Sure, he was embarrassed by many of the things he had seen. But, instead of feeling weird about it, he wanted to learn more.  He wanted to _see_ more.  But as his hand instinctively moved the mouse to click on a “related video” he stopped himself and shook his head.

 

He needed to get out of the house. Take a walk. Get some coffee.  _Something_.  He knew that if he didn’t, he would spend his entire day doing more…“research,” and if that was the case he would never be able to look Derek in the eyes when they talked later.  He wasn’t even sure he would be able to do it as things stood now.  He had imagined Derek throughout almost every scene that had unfolded in the video.  Thought about what it would feel to have Derek’s mouth on his, hands on his skin, fingers _inside_ of him… Spencer flushed.  That wasn’t fair to Derek.  He had almost used him as material to…  He shook his head.  No. No. No.   

 

Sighing, Spencer exited out of the browser and closed the lid of his laptop. He had to get his mind _out_ of the gutter.  When had he turned into this kind of person?   Blushing, he pushed himself to his feet.  Getting out of the house and _away_ from the available “entertainment” options on the internet was definitely needed.      

* * *

An hour later found Spencer at his favorite campus coffee shop.  He had brought his research and some papers to grade (and had quite purposefully left his fancy new laptop at home).  Just as he had received his coffee and was exiting the line, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.  Juggling his coffee and bag, Spencer reached into his back pocket to retrieve the phone.  What he saw there made his face break into a wide smile. 

 

_Derek_ : Heeey Pretty Boy.

_Derek_ : Can’t wait to talk to you tonight

_Derek_ : Gonna get in a little late though

_Derek_ : Work had me out of state

_Derek_ : You gonna wait up for me, baby? ;p

 

Spencer shook his head but laughed.  _Of course_ he would.  It wasn’t even anything he had to think about.  Lately, if Derek ever had to cancel one of their talks (usually because of work), Spencer was so disappointed that it would often ruin his night.  It shocked him that he could even be that invested in something; he wasn’t used to feeling that way.  Thinking about it, Spencer felt his face warm in embarrassment.  If Derek knew how eager he was, he would probably think he was pathetic.  He didn’t want to come off as _desperate_.    

 

_Spencer_ : Well… it depends.  How late are we talking?

 

_Derek_ : Hopefully I’ll be back in by 10?

_Derek_ : 11 the latest.

_Derek_ : Is that too late, baby?

_Derek_ : I really wanna see you tonight.

_Derek_ : Like, REALLY REALLY :)

_Derek_ : but I understand if you’re busy

_Derek_ : Don’t wanna get in the way of your schoolwork, kid

_Derek_ : Although…naughty student could be a fun game ;p

 

Spencer couldn’t contain his laugh as he read that message. Shaking his head, and grinning, he carefully typed back his response.

 

_Spencer_ : 11 is fine, Derek

_Spencer_ : And absolutely NOT to “naughty student”

_Spencer_ : I’ve never been anything but a good student

 

_Derek_ : Oh, I’m sure I could find the naughty in you, baby

_Derek_ : Can’t wait to talk to you tonight ^ 3 ^ 

 

Spencer stared at the last emoticon, trying to figure out what it was supposed to represent, when a tap to his shoulder caused him to jump and look behind him.  Standing behind him were Bryan and Lizzie, each holding a cup of coffee and both looking somewhat amused at his over-dramatic reaction.

 

“Hmm… yet again we find you grinning like a fool at your cellphone, Spencer?” Bryan asked with a wink.  “This your new friend again?”

 

Before Spencer could reply (although he was sure the blush he was now sporting was reply enough), Lizzie cut him off.

 

“I’m not convinced it’s _just_ a friend,” she said crossing her arms over her chest and giving him a suspicious look.   

 

Spencer shook his head.

 

“It’s really nothing like that,” he murmured.

 

“Oh yeah?” she asked.  “ _Something’s_ been up with you lately.  You don’t stay late at the lab anymore, and, even today, you rushed home straight after class.  Usually you’d stay and have lunch with us.”

 

Spencer flushed, realizing that she was right.  He really was changing a lot of his habits.  Most nights out of the week he returned to his apartment late at night, not having much waiting for him at home to rush back for, other than curling up with a good book or maybe watching old reruns of Star Trek.  Now, he looked forward to going home as soon as he could.  He looked forward to seeing _Derek_. 

 

“I-I had to buy something,” he said, trying not to avert his eyes.  “It was kind of an emergency.”

 

Bryan frowned.

 

“Everything okay?” he asked.

 

“Oh, no! It’s nothing like _that_. Ah… just, I had to replace something, so…I wanted to get to it as quickly as I could,” he lied. 

 

“Replace something…?” Lizzie asked, eyebrow arched.

 

Spencer sighed.

 

“Um… I had to buy a new computer,” he said, realizing that trying to lie was going to cause him to trip up and say something stupid; it was better if he just altered the truth a bit.  “My desktop finally died and I have a draft of my dissertation due soon, so… kind of an emergency.”

 

Both Bryan and Lizzie cringed, empathizing with the very non-ideal situation they imagined Spencer had gone through.

 

“Sorry to hear that, man,” Bryan said as he patted him on the shoulder. “Were you able to save everything?”

 

Spencer felt guilty for lying and garnering his friends’ unwarranted sympathy.

 

“Yeah, no worries,” he said quickly. “I had copies saved elsewhere.  But, you know, just to be safe, I decided it was time to get a more foolproof system.”

 

“Yeah, definitely makes sense,” Bryan agreed. “And I’m glad you finally decided to put that old antique to rest.”

 

Lizzie laughed and Spencer turned toward her.

 

“Well, I hate that that happened to you, but it was so way off from what I was imagining.  I really thought it was that secret girlfriend of yours that was causing you to rush home,” she said as she winked at him.

 

Spencer flushed and shook his head.

 

“Nope… nothing like that going on with me,” he said.

 

“Ok, man, well, it looks like you brought all your stuff to get some serious work done.  So we’ll leave you be.  Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help with your dissertation work,” Bryan said.

 

“Thanks, guys,” Spencer said as he forced a smile.  Speaking of his dissertation… he had barely even _opened_ that file in the past few weeks.  It wasn’t lost on him that that coincided with when he had started talking to Derek… 

 

As they waved goodbye, Spencer bit his lip in worry, wondering if people really could see a change about him that he couldn’t see in himself.  And wondering if Derek was aware of it too.    

* * *

After his run in with Bryan and Lizzie, Spencer committed himself to pushing all of his non-academic (and, honestly, _unproductive_ ) thoughts out of his mind and trying to actually get some work done.  He took notes for his dissertation, reading and outlining about 15 articles and two theoretical texts before he decided it was time to pack up and go home.  He felt accomplished.  And it had also helped to relax him and push the thoughts of the _video_ he had seen earlier out of his head. 

 

Spencer walked home, step light as he thought about seeing Derek later that night.  He didn’t mind that he looked forward to it as much as he did.  But he had to try better at not letting it bleed into his everyday life.  It might be difficult, but Spencer would at least make an effort.   

 

When he got in, he took a shower, changing into comfy pajamas, and ate dinner, in the time he was waiting for Derek to get online.  And around 10:30, when it was almost time to log on, Spencer found himself getting nervous. 

 

Derek didn’t know he had bought the laptop.  He really could just get situated on the desktop and act as if nothing had changed.  But… he remembered how frustrated he was when he couldn’t bring himself to do what Derek was asking because he was far too embarrassed, and how disappointed he had felt when he had had to cut his conversation with Derek short.  There was no telling if Derek would ask to see…“more” again tonight, but it was better to be prepared for that possibility, and _prepared_ meant going to the bedroom.

 

As Spencer walked down the hallway and into his bedroom, he suddenly felt that something about moving things into that space felt far more intimate.  Blushing, Spencer shook the silly thought out of his head.  A bedroom wasn’t _inherently_ sexual.  And, besides, it wasn’t like he was going to talk to Derek from his _bed_.  No, Spencer was going to keep it…casual.  Nodding to himself, he walked over to his bed and picked up the computer from where it had sat untouched when he had closed it earlier.

 

He then moved over to his desk, setting the computer down and opening it up.  He still felt anxious, knowing that Derek would be able to immediately tell that there was a difference in the location (Derek was perceptive like that), but at least Derek wouldn’t be able to tell _what_ room they were in.  Spencer’s desk was situated in a corner of his bedroom right by the window and the only thing behind him was a bookshelf. 

 

Logging on, Spencer was pleased to see that Derek was already signed in and he felt a smile come to his face.  His anxiety immediately melted away.  Double-clicking on Derek’s name to engage the video-chat, Spencer settled into his desk chair (a comfy old armchair) and waited. 

 

It only took three rings before Derek answered.  And Spencer smiled when the man’s face filled the screen.

 

“Pretty Boy!” he said, grinning.     

 

Spencer grinned back.

 

“Hey, Derek!” he said.

 

“ _Hey_ ,” Derek said, brows furrowing.  “You’re someplace different today, aren’t you? And your video quality is _much_ clearer.  I can finally really see those pretty hazel eyes, baby.”     

 

Spencer blushed, unprepared for the compliment. 

 

“Uh… yeah, I… I uh… I bought a new computer,” Spencer admitted shyly.

 

Derek’s eyes widened.

 

“As in… you abandoned the desktop?” he asked pointedly.

 

Spencer rolled his eyes, still blushing.

 

“ _Yes_ , Derek,” he said, with a huff.  “I bought a _laptop_.”

 

Derek grinned and clapped his hands.

 

“Alright, alright, I like the sound of that,” he said.  “Look at you getting all up with the times.  Have you done anything fun with it yet?”

 

Spencer knew the question was probably innocent, but he still felt ashamed about what he had spent the early part of his afternoon doing, and as soon as Derek mentioned doing “anything fun,” Spencer’s thoughts immediately strayed toward more sordid topics.  And it showed on his face, as he blushed hotly, hunched his shoulders, and averted his eyes.

 

Derek let out a stunned-sounding bark of laughter.

 

“Waaaait a second.  What’s with that reaction, kid?  Did my Pretty Boy get up to some naughty things?” he asked, voice teasing. 

 

“It was-!  It was _research_ ,” Spencer mumbled.

 

“Yeah right, baby.  What does looking at porn have anything to do with engineering,” Derek said with a laugh, clearly unconvinced.

 

“Baby, I’m not gonna judge you for enjoying a little self-loving.  We all do it,” Derek said.

 

Spencer blushed even more.

 

“No, I wasn’t doing _that_ ,” Spencer said with a huff.  “It was for me and y-”

 

Spencer’s eyes widened as soon as he realized what he had let slip out.  Derek had gone silent and Spencer was too embarrassed to look at him.

 

“Kid… you’re telling me you looked up porn… thinking of it being me and you?” Derek asked carefully. 

 

Spencer felt like he was going to die of embarrassment as he covered his face with his hands so he wouldn’t have to look at Derek.  There was no way he could admit to that out loud. But it didn’t seem like Derek needed him to say it.  He already had his answer from how obviously Spencer had reacted.

 

“Oh, _baby,”_ Derek breathed.  “You don’t know how happy that makes me.  Did you touch yourself while you were watching it and thinking of me?” 

 

Spencer slowly removed his hands from his face to look up at Derek.  Derek didn’t seem _disgusted_ or bothered by the fact that Spencer had been thinking about him earlier while watching porn.  In fact, he sounded excited.  And, now, looking at Derek carefully, Spencer felt his stomach do a flip at the desire he saw evident on the older man’s face.

 

“I… I  didn’t want to… um… I thought it’d be bad if I did that,” Spencer murmured as he averted his eyes.  “I really just… I wanted to see what it was like.”

 

Spencer wondered if someone could literally die of embarrassment.  He had never actually done any research on it.  But now, looking that up was the only thing he wanted to do at the moment.

 

“And did you like what you saw?” Derek asked, voice deep and delicious. 

 

Spencer looked back up at him, and chewed on his lip nervously.

 

“Um… Ah… well… it was very…uh… stimulating?” he tried, finding the words hard to get out.  “This is so embarrassing, Derek!”

 

Derek laughed, the sound as smooth as silk. 

 

“No, don’t be embarrassed, Spencer,” Derek said, and Spencer couldn’t help but tremble at the sound of his name on the man’s lips.  “I want you to tell me what you saw, and what you liked.”

 

“I just… I didn’t see all that _much_ ,” Spencer whined, hoping they could just move off the topic.  “I just wanted to… you know, get an idea of how everything worked…”

 

“You mean between two guys?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer looked down again.

 

“I know it’s probably really lame that I haven’t…ah… haven’t seen any of that stuff before, but well… I don’t usually-” Spencer floundered to explain.

 

“Baby, baby, _relax_ ,” Derek said, chuckling.  “That’s nothing to be embarrassed about.  The fact that you went and looked that up, for “research,” as you say, tells me that this is more than just a little whim for you.  That you’re starting to think about whether those are things you might like doing yourself.” 

 

Spencer blushed again, but he was glad that Derek understood.

 

“And you thought about me while you were watching?” Derek asked after a pause.

 

Spencer gave him a petulant look.

 

“Who _else_ would I be thinking about?” he asked.

 

Derek laughed, giving him a warm, fond, smile. 

 

“Well, I just had to ask, baby.  Some of those porn stars are out of this world.  I’m not quite sure I could compare,” Derek said with a shrug.

 

“No way!” Spencer said almost immediately.  “He had _nothing_ on you, Derek.”

 

“Oh… so I’m your ideal, huh, kid?” Derek asked teasingly as he waggled his eyebrows. 

 

“I guess so,” Spencer said seriously, as he considered whether he really had a “type.” “I can’t seem to think of anyone else but you like that.”

 

Derek seemed stunned for a second and Spencer looked up at him, wondering if he had said something strange. But then Derek just gave him a big grin and shook his head.

 

“Alright, kid, with all this sexy talk and exploring you did today, I want you to show me a little of what you learned,” he said, smirking at Spencer.

 

Spencer’s brows furrowed and he frowned.

 

“I… I didn’t _learn_ anything, Derek.  Or at least… I mean, nothing I could _do_ ,” Spencer said.

 

“That’s not true.  You had the courage to go look something like that up.  And you _liked_ it, Pretty Boy.  So now you don’t have to be so self-conscious about it.  If something turns you on, I want you to show me or tell me.  Be open about it,” Derek encouraged.

 

Spencer still shook his head and Derek smiled.

 

“You like it when I tell you what to do, huh?” he asked softly.

 

Spencer didn’t look up but he nodded shyly. 

 

“Ok, well, you’ve got your new laptop now and, apparently, you aren’t out in the open anymore so… how about you show me a little skin, baby,” Derek purred.

  

Spencer licked his lips as he considered Derek’s words, and then his hands were moving to the hem of his t-shirt and he was lifting it over his head. 

 

“Mm,” Derek said.  “I really love this better quality video camera, baby. I can see all the _details_.”

 

Spencer blushed hotly as he glared at Derek.

 

“Comments like that aren’t going to make this any easier on me, Derek,” he complained.

 

“Okay, okay,” Derek said, putting up his hands in surrender as he laughed.  “I’ll keep quiet.” 

 

Trembling, Spencer hesitantly brought his hands down to the waistband of his pants, needing to think a moment before proceeding.

 

Taking a breath, Spencer stood up and shucked off his pajama bottoms, standing before Derek in just his briefs.  He fidgeted uncomfortably, feeling over exposed and decidedly _unattractive_ , wondering if Derek would change his mind now, seeing how skinny he was; how awkward.

 

“ _Look_ at you, baby boy,” Derek said as he licked his lips. 

 

Spencer blushed as he sat back down.

 

“Aw, you’re not going to take off more?” Derek asked with a pout.

 

Spencer looked at him.

 

“I’m the only one sitting here in my underwear, Derek,” Spencer said.

 

“Oh, is that your secret way of asking _me_ to get naked, baby?” Derek asked with a laugh as he stood to his feet.  “All you have to do is ask.”

 

Spencer reddened as he watched Derek shirk off his shirt, his sculpted chest coming into view.  And then without a moment’s hesitation, Derek was undoing the belt of his jeans and pulling them down too, revealing his black underwear underneath.  Derek hooked his fingers in the waistband and looked up at Spencer with a playful smirk.

 

“You want these off too, baby?” he asked.

 

Spencer gulped.

 

“Ah… m-maybe we leave them on for right now,” he said shyly.

 

Derek laughed as he nodded and sat down.    

 

“So, tell me about the video you watched today,” Derek said as he brought a hand down to his lap, running his palm against his cock.

 

Spencer blushed, as he felt his own cock respond to the sight, hating how quickly Derek could make his body catch fire. 

 

“I… um… it was kind of… intense,” he admitted.

 

“What was happening in it?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer averted his eyes.

 

“It was called… um… “hung hunk f-fucks needy twink,” Spencer said, cheeks burning.

 

“Actually… what _is_ a twink, anyway?” Spencer asked, looking back at Derek.

 

Derek laughed. 

 

“Uh… _you_?” he stated, clearly amused.

 

Spencer’s brows furrowed. 

 

“It’s pretty young things like you, baby,” Derek explained.  “It’s a “type.”  I’m not surprised you were drawn to it.  And “hung hunk,” huh?”

 

Derek raised his eyebrows suggestively and Spencer frowned causing Derek laughed at him.

 

“I didn’t _look it up_ ,” Spencer made sure to say.  “It was just a random video.” 

 

“But it’s the one you _watched_ ,” Derek reminded him with a smirk.

 

“So, think about what you saw today.  What turned you on?  What’d you like seeing?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer closed his eyes and thought about it.  He was already sure he wouldn’t be able to tell Derek about _most_ of what he had seen that day.  But… there were some things he had definitely liked.

 

“I… I liked how they k-kissed,” Spencer whispered.

 

“Yeah?” Derek asked.  “What about it?”

 

“Um… it was really passionate.  And it was clear they were both really liking it,” Spencer said.  “They… they touched each other a lot, too.  And… I liked the sounds they made.” 

 

“Mmm, I’m sure you did, baby,” Derek said.  “You make the _prettiest_ sounds when you’re all worked up.” 

 

Spencer bit his lip, feeling himself growing even stiffer at the sound and content of Derek’s words. 

 

“And that made you hot, huh?  Were you thinking about _me_ kissing you and touching you like that?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer nodded, hand straying to rub at his cock through his underwear.

 

“I would kiss you like that baby.  I’d kiss you all over.  I want to run my tongue along your neck and down to those collarbones.  Suck on your nipples until you’re almost crying with want,” Derek purred.

 

Spencer gasped, hips bucking up as he rubbed at himself.

 

“You like the sound of that?” Derek asked.

 

And all Spencer could do was nod in response, afraid that if he opened his mouth a whimper would slip out.  He was already so hard.

   

“I know you do.  I can see you getting worked up, Spencer.  You know it feels better to touch yourself skin on skin though.  You remember how good it felt last time right?  So why don’t you take those off,” Derek said as he glanced pointedly down to Spencer’s lap. 

 

Spencer thought about the boy in the video.  About how sexy he had looked and how confident he seemed to be in his body.  And it was clear that his lover had responded positively to that.  Taking a deep breath, Spencer reached for the waistband of his underwear and shimmied out of them.  He didn’t allow himself the chance to be embarrassed as he immediately closed his fist over his cock and stroked, a soft moan tumbling past his lips as his eyes fluttered closed. 

 

“Oh _yes,_ baby.  That’s good.  So good.  Just keep going.  Remember, it’s just me and you.  No one else.  No need to feel nervous,” Derek said encouragingly, voice no more than a whisper.

 

Spencer moaned as he relaxed back against the chair, legs splayed and his cock held tightly in his grip.  He stroked himself slowly, and whimpered as he thrusted up into his hand.  He could hear the sound of Derek panting, and even though his eyes were closed he could imagine how Derek’s eyes would darken as he looked at him.

 

“L-like this, Derek?” Spencer asked tentatively as he continued the slow strokes on his rigid cock. 

 

“Yes, Pretty Boy, yes, just like that,” Derek purred as he watched the boy begin to writhe as his pleasure built. 

 

“Open your eyes for me, baby.  Come on,” Derek instructed. 

 

Spencer hesitated but slowly raised his honey-colored eyes to stare into Derek’s desire-darkened ones.  He couldn’t contain the moan that escaped his lips. 

 

“Good boy,” Derek praised as he licked his lips.

 

Spencer blushed deeper and Derek watched as the boy’s little pink tongue darted out to wet his diamond-shaped lips.  Spencer saw how Derek’s eyes narrowed and dropped down to his mouth, as if they were glued there.  Seeing the look on Derek’s face emboldened Spencer. 

 

“Do you like it?  I mean, um…do you…like how _I_ look Derek?” Spencer asked shyly. 

 

“Absolutely, kid.  You’re incredibly hot.  You don’t know how badly I want to fuck you right now,” Derek groaned as he reached down into his underwear and pulled out his cock, stroking the engorged length.

 

Spencer let out a little gasp.  The evidence of Derek’s desire for him was clear, but hearing Derek say it _too?_   That made Spencer’s stomach do flip-flops.    

 

“Y-you do?” Spencer asked, surprise evident in his voice.

 

“Unh,” Derek groaned. “So, so bad, Spencer.” 

 

And then Spencer thought back to the video from earlier.  Of the boy on his back with his legs bent up to his shoulders, gasping and moaning as the bigger man thrust into him over and over again and Spencer let out a low moan, hand moving faster on his own cock. 

 

“Y…you want to…put it inside me?” Spencer asked and this time he couldn’t keep the eye contact as his face flamed.

 

“Oh God _yes_ ,” Derek purred, as his eyes roved over the pink cheeks and plump lips, “If that’s what you want, Spencer.  Baby, yes. Anything you want.”

 

Spencer glanced up at him and couldn’t help but shiver under the intense gaze. He felt like Derek would devour him if given the chance, and he was surprised at himself for wishing that there wasn’t a computer screen and thousands of miles between them.  With the way Derek was looking at him right now, all Spencer wanted was for Derek to be able to touch him. 

 

“I-I think…I think I want it…but…” he trailed off as he watched Derek’s hand moving over his cock, “I’m kinda scared.  It looks really big, Derek.”

 

Derek groaned out loud and Spencer watched as he gripped the desk in front of him, the muscle in his arm flexing deliciously.

 

“Don’t worry, Pretty Boy,” he panted, gaze so hot it was almost scorching.  “I’ll go easy on you… At least the first time.”

 

Spencer bit his lip and Derek gave him a devilish grin. 

 

“But you can’t be teasing me like this, baby.  Not with you so far away and me not being able to touch you.  All I can do now is talk to you and it’s driving me nuts…  Looking at you like this… damn, baby.  I want to see you come for me, Spencer.”

 

Spencer nodded breathlessly as he began to stroke himself harder. 

 

“Unh! Unh… I’m- I’m almost there, Derek,” Spencer moaned out as he rocked into his hand. 

 

“Yeah, me too Pretty Boy,” Derek groaned, fisting his cock harder. 

 

If Spencer wasn’t so gone at that point, he would have been embarrassed by the sounds he was making.  But, instead, he continued to stroke himself, listening to the sound of Derek’s pants and moans, pushing him further and further to the edge.  And as he thought about all the things Derek had promised—about the idea of getting to do them in person one day—Spencer came, crying out Derek’s name.  Derek came only a few seconds after.   

 

A few minutes passed before Spencer came back to his senses, and when he finally did he opened his eyes to look at Derek.  Derek was giving him a lazy grin, still panting somewhat, as he gazed at him. 

 

“God, you wreck me, baby,” he said. “You are the most phenomenal thing.”

 

Spencer shook his head in disbelief as he gave Derek a lopsided smile. 

 

“I’m gonna get you to believe that one day.  For now, I want you to sleep tight, baby.  Dream of me and all the things you want me to do with you.  And don’t worry, I totally give you my permission to use me for your spank bank,” Derek said with a wink.

 

Spencer blushed and laughed.  Derek blew him a kiss and gave him a little wave, before signing off. 

 

Spencer sighed as he sunk back into his chair, still too blissed out to do much more than stare down at his naked, sweaty form, and rehash the events of his day.    

 

Every moment with Derek was like a new experience in his life.  Spencer felt more alive.  And more and more he found himself hating the fact that there were more than 2000 miles keeping them apart.

* * *

A/N: Ok… So Spencer might have a size-kink. Shrugs. Hahah.  Ok, that’s all for now.  Until next time, guys!! xoxo


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I’m back!  Thank you all so much for bearing with me through finals and being abroad for my friend’s wedding.  I’m so glad it’s summer and that I can return to writing. I am hoping to have this story finished _before_ I return back to school in September.  Fingers crossed!  Hopefully you enjoy this new chapter which I basically sum up as: Spencer spends a lot of time in his head (because he’s _Spencer_ ) and Derek is (continues to be?) a pervert. Haha.

* * *

Sitting at his computer late on a Saturday afternoon, waiting for Derek to sign on, Spencer found himself lost in his thoughts.  He was amazed by all the recent developments that had been taking place in his life lately.  If you had asked him 2 months ago if he would be having virtual sex (which "research" had taught him, to his embarrassment, was what he could call what he was doing with Derek) with a man he barely knew on the other side of the country, he probably would have had a fit.  That was just so _not_ Spencer Reid.

 

But, aside from the embarrassment he felt in the light of day when he thought of all the things he said and _did_ in front of Derek, Spencer was secretly a bit excited about the changes that were happening within himself.  He had always thought that this part of “life”—being excited about seeing another person and caring about what that person thought of _him_ —was just something that was never going to happen to him.  It was something that happened very often to others, but never _Spencer._ He had watched people in relationships before go through such highs and lows, become so emotionally invested, and he could never _get_ what was the big appeal.  He had never understood. 

 

But now?  Now, Spencer totally got it.  He understood why someone would stick close to their phone.  Or smile when they received a message from their “special someone.”  And these new feelings seemed to lighten the colors in Spencer’s world.  Things had just been “okay” in his life before now.  They were shades of gray, and brown, and beige.  Perfectly fine, but not particularly exciting.  But, now, every thing seemed brighter.  He was more excited about everyday things.  And he felt this constant fluttering iin his chest from when he woke up in the morning all the way until he went to bed at night. 

 

Was this what love was?  The logical part of Spencer hypothesized that that was highly unlikely.  Sure, hormones and neurotransmitters were probably involved that were causing him to feel so… “smitten,” but, if anything, Spencer knew it was more likely that he was experiencing the early stages of infatuation.  He told himself it was _impossible_ to feel “in love” with someone he barely knew.  But that didn’t stop him from blushing every time he thought of Derek or finding himself daydreaming about the man during his classes. 

 

And even though Spencer kept telling himself he didn’t really _know_ Derek, Spencer still knew enough to feel confident in believing that Derek was honestly a good guy.  But it was also that genuine “goodness” that made him somewhat doubtful about what he meant to Derek.  He was still shy and self-conscious around Derek, fearing that things were too good to be true and not wanting to get his hopes up. 

 

He still worried that Derek would have a change of heart and suddenly find Spencer not worth the trouble.  Or too boring or strange to put up with.  But, while Spencer was sure Derek picked up on the fact that Spencer was likely not as outgoing as he was, it didn’t seem that that bothered the older man.  Even in their conversations, Derek never asked Spencer questions like “who’d you hang out with this weekend,” but instead would ask about whether Spencer had read any good books lately or had visited any interesting exhibits or film festivals.  It seemed as if Derek realized Spencer was a loner, but didn’t begrudge him for it.

 

All more things to add to the list of reasons why Derek made Spencer’s stomach fill with butterflies. 

 

But Spencer didn’t know what to _do_ with those feelings.  They were new and confusing.  He didn’t like the uncertainty or the nervousness they brought with them.  Spencer was a scientist at heart.  When he wanted to know the answer to something, he went out and _found_ it.  He was never the type to rely on guesswork.  Spencer knew he would be able to assuage some of his confusion if he only just _asked_ Derek what he should consider their ‘relationship.’  But Derek had more experience with this.  Derek was the one who had gone on the site actually _knowing_ what he was looking for.  And Derek had never brought the topic back up after their first conversation revealing Spencer’s “misunderstanding.” 

 

And that made Spencer think that he didn’t _want_ to bring it up.  Thinking about the fact that Derek never really asked where Spencer wanted this to go made Spencer think that Derek didn’t _want_ anything more than the “fun” they were having at the moment. It wasn’t lost on Spencer that the brunt of their interactions involved sex.  It was completely logical to think that that was maybe _all_ Derek wanted…

 

However, even though their relationship was decidedly sexual in nature, Spencer knew they shared more than just sex.

 

Derek always made a point of asking Spencer questions about himself and seemed genuinely interested in learning more about him. Derek never passed on an opportunity to tell Spencer how happy talking to him made him feel, or how much he had “missed” him throughout the day.  And Derek wasn’t light on the texting either.  Spencer now considered himself to be quite skilled at typing on the tiny keys of his cellphone. And he could thank Derek for that. 

 

Spencer, himself, tried to reciprocate the affectionate flirting, but still found himself feeling awkward about it.  Leading to more self-doubt and frustration.  If Spencer wasn’t second-guessing Derek’s actual interest, then he was worrying that Derek was putting too much effort into him, when maybe he really wasn’t _worth_ it. 

 

Spencer knew that Derek was making sacrifices to maintain their relationship, as well.  It had recently dawned on him during one of their conversations that he and Derek were operating in two different time zones.  So when Derek had been picking times to talk to him, he had been accommodating Spencer’s schedule.  And even today, Derek had texted him about an hour ago asking if they could talk earlier than usual because he would be going out later that night and didn’t want to run the risk of not getting to talk to Spencer that day.

 

Blushing at the thought, Spencer signed in to the video chat program, deciding he needed to push all these reservations out of his mind.  Sure, he would have to have a “conversation” with Derek someday—and someday _soon_ , seeing as how Spencer would be moving in less than two months—but for right now he just felt too self-conscious.  He would, however, try to be a bit more open and receptive to Derek’s affection and hopefully Derek would be able to see that Spencer was willing for them to become something…more than “just friends.”  

 

Seeing that Derek was online, Spencer took a deep breath and double-clicked, face splitting into a smile and anxiety dissipating as soon as he saw Derek sitting there grinning back at him.  Spencer couldn’t help the little flip in his stomach as he took in Derek’s attire.  Usually Derek was in workout clothes, or casual t-shirts (or, _nothing_ , Spencer thought with a blush), but today he was in a sleek charcoal-gray button down, the top two buttons left unfastened, showing a teasing hint of his muscled chest.

 

“Pretty Boy!” Derek hailed him, causing Spencer’s eyes to quickly dart up from Derek’s neckline and to the man’s face.  “I’m so glad you could talk now.”

 

Spencer smiled. 

 

“No problem, Derek.  I also wouldn’t have wanted to miss a chance to talk to you tonight,” Spencer said, somewhat shyly.  It was still hard for him to say things like that. 

 

Derek grinned at him, eyes lighting up. 

   

“That’s good to hear, baby. Unfortunately, I only have a few minutes though. I have to meet up with a friend in a little bit, but I just wanted to see your face before I go because I don’t know if I’ll be coherent enough when I get back to hit you up later,” Derek said.

 

Spencer’s brows furrowed as he tried to hold back a laugh.

 

“Coherent enough?” he asked.

 

“Yeah,” Derek said as he feigned exasperation. “I’m going out with my Baby Girl tonight and that girl can drink me under the table.  I’m too old for this shit, but she still wants me to go out and drink like I’m in college.”

 

Spencer paused at Derek’s words, trying to school his face and pretend as if the man’s statement hadn’t affected him.  But in reality, it was as if things were coming to a screeching halt in his usually overactive brain. 

 

So Derek had a “baby girl.”  What did that _mean_ exactly?  Spencer wasn’t particularly savvy in the ways of male-female interaction.  Was that a term you would use for a _friend_ , or was it more something you’d use to refer to a significant other?  It was definitely a term of endearment.  And Derek was known for liking to use terms like “baby” often when speaking to Spencer.  But Spencer had thought Derek’s using it with him was _special_ ….

 

But, Spencer also knew he had no right to be upset about it; whether this mysterious “baby girl” was just a friend, or someone more important, to Derek had nothing to _do_ with him.  _He_ didn’t necessarily have any claim on Derek.

 

Even with that said, Spencer couldn’t deny that the thought of it made his stomach twist uncomfortably.  But he wasn’t going to let _Derek_ know that.  It would further show how inexperienced and, quite honestly, _lame_ Spencer was if he let it show.  He had to play it cool. 

 

“Uh… yeah, that… sounds fun?” he stuttered out, averting his eyes.  “You and your… ah… “baby girl” seem to really know how to party.”

 

Spencer was cringing at how pathetic he sounded, even before the last words had left his mouth.  So much for trying to play it cool.

 

Silence permeated the room as it was obvious Derek was trying to figure out how to process Spencer’s awkward words.

 

“Hey, kid, look at me,” Derek said, the authority in his deep voice causing Spencer to look up shyly.

 

Derek was looking at him warmly, understanding clear on his face and Spencer couldn’t help but blush.  He didn’t want Derek to take pity on him, and he was embarrassed that he was being so _transparent_ about how he was feeling. 

 

“She’s just a _friend_ , don’t worry,” Derek said with a soft laugh.

 

“I- I’m not _worried_!” Spencer protested, already knowing that his face probably showed how _un_ true that was.  

 

Derek just laughed again and shook his head.

 

“Believe me, Garcia is more like a sister than anything else and the thought of doing anything like that with her… Ick. Just _no_.  That’d be so wrong,” Derek said as he shuddered.   

 

Spencer tried to force himself to laugh, but it was clear he still seemed a bit unconvinced. 

 

“I’m serious.  I reserve all my naughty thoughts for _you_ , pretty boy,” Derek said, voice taking on a sultrier tone.

 

Spencer averted his eyes, but the smile he tried to hide was more genuine and Derek couldn’t help but laugh at the change in demeanor.

 

“So what are your plans for the rest of the night?” Derek asked, knowing that Spencer would appreciate a new topic.  

 

“Nothing really… maybe start this new anthology of Russian literature… in the original Russian,” Spencer murmured, immediately feeling like a big nerd. 

 

But Derek only laughed good-naturedly. 

 

“Damn. I love that big brain of yours, baby boy,” he said.

 

Spencer rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but laugh either. 

 

“Well, you say that, but it’s obvious you’re going to have a more exciting Saturday night than I will,” Spencer said, as his eyes roved over Derek’s form, taking in how attractive the man looked, once again.

 

And then feeling bold, he followed it up with, “I’m sure you’ll get a lot of attention when you’re out tonight.  You look really good.” 

 

Derek’s eyes darkened as he looked at Spencer, a smirk pulling up the corners of his lips. 

 

“Mm, I like to hear that you like what you see, pretty boy,” he said as he licked his lips, making Spencer tremble. 

 

“But like I said, you don’t have to worry about any of the people I’ll run into tonight.  All of this…” Derek said as he gestured suggestively to his body, “is for your eyes only.  Feel free to use it to help inspire your imagination.  I give you my permission.” 

 

Spencer rolled his eyes, not knowing if Derek was teasing him again or not.

 

"Tell me, Spencer," Derek said, his eyes playful and voice sounding like sin. "Do you play with yourself when I'm not around to get you off?" 

 

Spencer flushed hotly as he stared at Derek, mouth agape, completely caught unprepared for the change in direction.  

 

"Wh-what do you mean?" he asked.

 

Derek gave him an unimpressed look. 

 

"Come on now.  Don’t act so innocent.  Last time you said you wanted me to fuck you, pretty boy.  Don't think I've forgotten that," he said, laughing. 

 

Reminded of the things he had said, Spencer felt like his face was on fire.  He was embarrassed, but it wasn’t like anything Derek was saying was untrue.  Spencer had most definitely told Derek that he wanted him to fuck him.  And while there was a lot of truth to that statement—especially following the stimulating video Spencer had watched that day—Spencer wasn’t quite sure he could admit to something like that now that he wasn't drunk on his own arousal.  One thing that Spencer had quickly learned about himself was that, when Derek was involved, he got so turned on that his brain turned to mush and he didn’t have much control over the things he did or said.  He was probably a little _too_ honest in those moments. 

 

“You don’t have to be embarrassed about that baby,” Derek said with a chuckle.  “You don’t know how many times I came thinking of you telling me that.” 

 

“Derek!” Spencer whined, covering his face with his hands. 

 

Hearing Derek’s laugh, Spencer could tell that Derek was definitely finding enjoyment in his reaction. 

 

"I just want you to know that it’s not just you though.  You get me so turned on.  I’m not ashamed about the fact that I wake up hard ‘cause I’m thinking of you. So, tell me the truth.  You touch yourself to thoughts of me?  Do you play with yourself _there_?" Derek asked.  

 

Removing his hands from his face, Spencer stared at him, seeming a bit confused.

 

"Do you play with your hole Spencer?" Derek clarified, smirking.

 

Spencer blushed again and shook his head vigorously.  He had never done _that_.  But, to be honest, after seeing that video he had thought about it somewhat.  Or, at least, what it would feel like.

 

Derek chuckled. 

 

“Why not, pretty boy?  Now you’ve got an idea of how it’s done, don’t you want to know what it would feel like too?   You're telling me you aren't at least curious?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer floundered for a response, but was saved by the sound of a phone ringing and was treated to the sight of Derek getting up and sliding his phone out of his back pocket, giving Spencer a better look at his muscular body as it filled out his button-down and dress pants. 

 

Derek looked down at the phone in his hand and let out a soft curse.

 

“Oh man, my friend’s waiting outside.  I guess I went a bit over time chatting with you,” Derek said as he sat back down and gave Spencer an apologetic look. “Believe me, kid, I’d rather spend the rest of the night having this conversation.  But Baby Girl’s on the prowl tonight and she needs a wingman so I can’t let her down.”

 

“N-no, I totally understand.  Don’t worry,” Spencer said, secretly thankful that he had been able to avoid having to answer Derek’s questions.  He figured he’d probably have to actually be _drunk_ to be able to talk about that without dying of embarrassment.

 

“You’re the best, babe.  Talk tomorrow?” Derek asked hopefully.

 

Derek’s earnestness never ceased to warm his heart, and Spencer smiled back as he nodded. 

 

“I’ll be thinking of you until then,” Derek said, with a wink and Spencer giggled.   

 

Then Derek blew him a kiss before signing off.  

 

Spencer sighed happily to himself as he exited out of the program.  Derek always had this way of making Spencer feel both completely exposed and yet protected at the same time.  He pushed Spencer to step outside a lot of his comfort zones, but he somehow always knew just how much Spencer could handle. 

 

Pushing away from the desk and stretching, Spencer couldn’t help but smile.  Derek said he would be thinking of him for the rest of the night.  Spencer would be thinking of Derek too.

* * *

It was almost 2 o’clock in the morning, and Spencer was comfortably lying in his bed engrossed in his Russian anthology, when his phone pinged, alerting him that he had a new message. 

 

Placing down the book he had been reading, Spencer immediately knew it must be Derek.  No one else texted him and definitely not at that time in the morning.  But, Spencer thought to himself, if it _was_ Derek that also meant that he was texting him at almost 5 in the morning, Eastern Time.  Derek had specifically said they wouldn't be able to talk again that night because of his outing with his “Baby Girl.”  (The name, unconsciously, made Spencer roll his eyes.)  So why would he be texting now, of all times? 

 

Spencer's brows furrowed as he rolled over to the other side of the bed to retrieve his phone from its place on the nightstand.

 

 _Derek:_ Prtty booooy u up?

 

Spencer's eyebrow arched.  That was new.

 

 _Spencer_ : Yes, I am.  But I'm surprised to hear from you.  Shouldn't you be sleeping?

 

 _Derek_ : 2 worked up 2 sleep bby

 _Derek_ : thinking bout what we talked abt earlier

 

Derek's texts were intelligible, but there was clearly something different about them than how Derek usually texted him. 

 

 _Spencer_ : What part exactly are you talking about? 

 

 _Derek_ :  about you thinking of me when you touch yourself

 _Derek_ : about you playing w ur hole

 _Derek_ : did you do it?

Spencer's face heated up.  He couldn’t believe Derek was asking him that, and so blasé-like as well!  And it wasn’t just the content—Derek _always_ said things that made Spencer embarrassed.  But talking about this was more embarrassing than usual because he couldn't see Derek's face. It felt dirtier for some reason. 

 

 _Spencer_ : No, Derek. I definitely did NOT do that.

 

 _Derek_ : awwwww baby y not?  I would love u to tell me about that

 _Derek_ : you never played with yourself there before?

 

Spencer shook his head in disbelief.  Was this “sexting?”  Did Derek really want him to talk about stuff like this via text?

 

Blushing, Spencer quickly responded.

 

 _Spencer_ : I’ve never done that Derek.  I’m thinking you probably know that.

 

 _Derek_ : no, didn’t kno prtty boy

 _Derek_ : but that’s ok

 _Derek_ : cuz that just means I’m gonna have to tell you how to do it

 _Derek_ : tell u how to prep urself n tease urself

 _Derek_ : get u all hot and bothered

 _Derek_ : and then you can show me how you do it

 _Derek_ : shit that would be so sexy baby

 

Spencer bit his lip as he read the words.  Even though it wasn’t his idea, he couldn’t help the images that flooded his mind as he began to imagine himself doing something like that, and with Derek _watching._ Against his will he felt his cock stirring in interest and groaned in frustration.  What was Derek thinking trying to get him all worked up like this right now?  Shouldn’t Derek be tired?  Hadn’t he spent the night out with his friend, partying and drinking each other under the table?  And then it dawned on him.  Derek was _drunk_. 

 

 _Spencer_ : Derek.  Are you drunk right now?

 

 _Derek_ : drunk on yoooou baby boy ;p

 

 _Spencer_ : Derek, I’m serious.

 _Spencer_ : If you’re drunk, you should probably just go to bed

 _Spencer_ : People often say and do things when drunk that they wouldn’t when sober

 

 _Derek_ : ppl say what they REALLY mean when drunk prtty boy

 _Derek_ : use that big brain of urs to figure out what that means

 _Derek_ : been out all night, had a bunch of honeys trying to get at me

 _Derek_ : but all I wanted to do was come home n talk 2 u

 

Spencer stopped for a second, heart hammering in his chest.  Nervously, he decided to give an honest response. 

 

 _Spencer_ :  I was thinking of you all night too

 _Spencer_ :  I always am

 

 _Derek_ : I love to hear that baby ;p

 _Derek_ : happy no one else is stealing ur attention from me

 _Derek_ : I’m possessive gotta admit

 _Derek_ : prtty boy belongs to me ;3

 

Spencer laughed, even while his heart was swelling at the same moment. 

 

 _Spencer_ : Well you definitely don’t have to worry about that

 _Spencer_ : No one to steal my attention

 

 _Derek_ :  u might not think that baby

 _Derek_ : but if u only knew how gorgeous you are

 _Derek_ :  u would know how many people are probably dying to get a chance with you

 

 _Spencer_ : You REALLY must be drunk

 

 _Derek_ :  and you’re oblivious kid

 _Derek_ :  but that works to my benefit

 

 _Spencer_ :  I don’t really know if I should put any stock in the words of someone who probably drank a gallon of liquor tonight

 

 _Derek_ : ha ha kid

 _Derek_ :  not THAT drunk

 _Derek_ :  not too drunk to realize when ur trying to distract me

 _Derek_ :  but that’s ok

 _Derek_ :  I probably should go to bed before I say anything toooo revealing ;p

 

Spencer raised an eyebrow at that, suddenly wishing Derek was a little more drunk.  He seemed to have a better control of his faculties than Spencer had first thought if he was actually capable of teasing about it. 

 

 _Derek_ : buuut

 _Derek_ :  b4 I go

 _Derek:_ what’s your address?

 

That caused Spencer to pause.  That was a request that came completely out of left field.  They had never really asked things like that about each other before. 

 

 _Spencer_ : My address?  What for?

 

 _Derek:_ cuz obviously I wanna send you something.

 _Derek_ : don’t make me spell it out, kid ;p

 

Even though the concept of it was strange—and he had no idea what Derek was thinking about sending him, especially since it was a thought that came to him while drunk—Spencer couldn’t deny that it was somewhat endearing.  No one had sent him anything in such a long time, Spencer was suddenly excited about the idea of getting a “gift.”

 

 _Spencer_ :  What are you going to send me?

 

 _Derek_ :  it’s a surprise!

 _Derek_ :  come on, tell me ur address and u can see for urself

 

Spencer rolled his eyes as he chuckled.  He told himself there was no reason to even get his hopes up too high; it was likely that Derek wouldn’t even remember this conversation the next day.  But he typed the address for his school mailbox anyway.

 

 _Derek_ : yes!  You sent it!

 _Derek_ :  good boy ;p

 _Derek_ :  alright, imma let u go to sleep

 _Derek_ :  thanks for putting up with me tonight kid

 

 _Spencer_ :  Always

 

He smiled as he flopped back against his pillows, clutching his phone to his chest, a silly smile plastered on his face. 

* * *

Monday found Spencer in line at his favorite coffee shop waiting to place his order.  The weekend had passed without Spencer and Derek talking in person again.  However, Derek had texted him on Sunday morning apologizing for “bothering” him the night before, and complaining that the hangover he was experiencing was his much-deserved punishment.  While Spencer had laughed through reading Derek’s texts, he wasn’t quite sure if Derek really “remembered” the content of their conversation from the night before.  But he figured Derek could read back through the texts if he really wanted to know.   _Spencer_ definitely wasn’t going to remind him about it.

 

The thought that Spencer was the first thing on Derek’s mind after a night spent out with a “bunch of honeys trying to get at him” (as Derek had so eloquently put it) was definitely confidence-boosting.  But Derek had been drunk when he had said that, and even though _Derek_ had told Spencer that that was evidence that Spencer should trust his words more, Spencer wasn’t sure if the words were just an example of what Derek’s flirtatious teasing would be on overdrive, thanks to the inebriation.  Derek’s sense of humor and cool, laidback, confidence were the parts of him that Spencer loved the most, but they were also some of the most infuriating parts as well when it came to Spencer trying to figure out what Derek really wanted.   

 

Biting his lip in consternation, Spencer was about to allow himself to devolve into yet another spiraling thought session of hypotheses and postulations when he felt his phone buzzing in his back pocket.  Reaching down into his jeans, Spencer retrieved the phone and looked distractedly at the screen. He couldn’t help the smile that came over his lips.  He could see that the sender was Derek.  Pressing the button to accept, he opened the message.

 

 _Derek_ : missed hearing your voice last night baby

 _Derek_ : I know it’s my fault

 _Derek_ : believe me, I’m swearing off of liquor for a LONG time

 _Derek_ : but I’m finally recovered

 _Derek_ : So I wanna check if we’re still on to talk tonight?

 _Derek_ : don’t know if I’ll be able to survive another night without hearing you

 _Derek_ : and you know how I like to "hear" you *wink wink, nudge nudge * ;p

 

Spencer couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped his lips as he read Derek’s words.  The woman in line in front of him turned around to give him a strange look and Spencer blushed as he averted his gaze.  Derek was bordering on “dirty old man,” but Spencer found his unabashed persistence to be amusing.  Before replying back, Spencer surreptitiously glanced up at the woman in front of him to make sure she wasn't still watching him, as if, somehow, she would know the content of Derek’s text to him. Or maybe be able to read it on his face. But obviously she wasn't paying him any attention.  He smiled to himself as he started to type.  

 

 _Spencer_ : I don’t know how you can say things like that with a straight face

 

 _Derek_ : you didn’t see my “wink wink nudge nudge” ?

 _Derek_ : I literally winked at you kid

 _Derek_ : which kind of necessitates at least half of my face not being “straight”

 

Spencer laughed out loud, and this time he ignored the woman when she turned to look at him again.

 

 _Spencer_ : I MEAN that I can’t believe you actually say stuff like that

 _Spencer_ : And expect me to take you seriously

 

 _Derek_ : Oh, I definitely expect you to take me seriously

 _Derek_ : But you shouldn’t be surprised about that baby

 

Spencer rolled his eyes, but couldn’t deny how Derek’s words made him blush. 

 

 _Spencer_ : Getting back on TRACK

 _Spencer_ : Yes, we’re still on to talk tonight

 

Spencer paused before his next response, grinning a bit mischievously.  If Derek could be flirty, so could he.

 

 _Spencer_ : IF you behave  

 

Spencer wasn’t surprised at the rapidness of Derek’s response, nor the interest level.

 

 _Derek_ : Kid.

 _Derek_ : You know I’m at work right now?

 _Derek_ : You better not tease me like that

 _Derek_ : Unless you’re ready for me to stop going so easy on you ;p

 

Spencer rolled his eyes again.  If what they had been doing so far was what Derek considered _easy_ Spencer wasn’t quite sure he wanted to know what Derek considered a step up. 

 

 _Spencer:_ What did I say about behaving?

_Derek_ : Mmm

 _Derek:_ Now you've got me imagining how you'll punish me if I DON'T behave

 

 _Spencer_ : Derek!

 

 _Derek:_ Alright alright

 _Derek_ : Let me stop before I get put on probation

 _Derek:_ I know you’re more honest when we see each other face to face anyway

 _Derek_ : So I’ll just wait for that ;p

 

Spencer blushed.

 

 _Derek_ : Plus I’m looking forward to what you’ll have to say to me later

 

Spencer’s eyebrow raised in question.  That was a peculiar thing to say.  He was going to ask Derek what he meant, but then the barista was asking him for his order and he shot off a quick “Ok, talk later” to Derek, before his attention was absorbed by the thoughts of his much-needed coffee. 

* * *

Spencer’s day had gone relatively well and the fact that Derek had stuck to his word and had kept a low profile throughout the day only made Spencer more excited to get home and talk to him.  Before leaving school, Spencer just had to make one quick stop to check his mail.  He always checked it on Mondays.  And while he didn’t get very much mail (or at least nothing of importance), he still enjoyed the routine.

 

Standing in front of his mailbox, he was surprised to see a bright orange notification slip stuck to the skinny door stating that he had a package. That was unexpected.  Spencer couldn’t remember the last time _anyone_ had sent him a package and while he was definitely excited to see what it was, he was also somewhat apprehensive.  He had no idea what to expect.  So, after retrieving his letters, Spencer hesitantly walked over to the mailroom where the larger packages were kept.

 

The man behind the counter looked up as soon as Spencer came to a stop in front of the desk.

 

“Yeah?” the man asked boredly.

 

“Um… I got this…” Spencer said as he held up the orange slip.

 

“ ‘K,” the man said as he took the slip out of Spencer’s hand and disappeared into the back room.

 

Spencer fidgeted for a few minutes, trying to stop his brain from thinking up the literally infinite different things that could be in his package (including a bomb), until the man came back with a medium sized cardboard box.  He placed it on the counter and pushed a sheet in front of Spencer to sign indicating he had received the parcel.  Scrawling his name quickly, Spencer grabbed the box and turned from the desk, throwing a quick “Thank you!” over his shoulder as he hurried away.

 

Looking down at the box in his arms, Spencer was surprised that it didn’t say anything about who sent it.  In fact, the only thing he could tell about it was that it was from Amazon.  Shaking it curiously, Spencer found that it felt relatively light, but he could hear things knocking around inside of it letting him know the box contained multiple items.  There was _no_ way he would be able to wait until he got home to see what was inside so he made his way over to one of the empty tables near the mailroom and proceeded to rip the box open. 

 

Inside, he was confused to see two smaller, nondescript rectangular cardboard boxes.  One was bigger than the other, but neither of them had anything printed on the outside to indicate what they contained.  Brows furrowing, Spencer picked up the smaller of the two boxes.  Opening it hesitantly he let out a sigh as he saw that it contained another box, this time a black one with the word “bullet” written in fancy script printing on the front, but nothing else.

 

Rolling his eyes, Spencer opened the black box and pulled out what looked to be a long cylindrical metal-looking tube.  It was about half an inch thick and probably 3 or 4 inches long.  Confused, Spencer took it out of its plastic packaging and turned it over in his hand.  He couldn’t quite figure out what it was or what it was for.  Did someone maybe send him this package _accidentally_? 

 

 _Go figure_ , Spencer thought to himself. As if he’d actually get a gift. 

 

Feeling disappointed, Spencer picked up the other cardboard box and opened it. This time, there wasn’t any secondary packaging and when the plastic-wrapped item inside slid out and thumped to the bottom of the larger box, Spencer felt his face heat up so fast he almost became dizzy.  Slamming the flaps of the box closed on instinct, Spencer quickly looked up and around him to make sure that no one else had seen what was inside the box.  Relieved to see that the mailroom was practically deserted, Spencer let out a heavy sigh and took a moment to process the contents of the box.  

 

Spencer didn’t have any personal experience with such things, but he knew enough to have no misunderstanding about what he had seen, even if it only had been for a few seconds. 

 

The item that had fallen out of the bigger cardboard box was …a _dildo_.  A big, silicone-looking, flesh-colored _dildo._  And suddenly Spencer realized that the _other_ item that he had initially been confused about was probably some type of sex toy as well.  He didn’t have to think very hard to figure out who this “gift” had come from, especially since he had just given a _certain_ someone his address only two days ago.

 

Sighing in frustration, Spencer looked over his shoulder again before forcing himself to lift the flap ever so slightly so he could look for a packaging slip.  Finding the white sheet of paper he quickly pulled it out and closed the cardboard flaps again.  Reading over the gift receipt his suspicions were confirmed. 

 

The witty little message included on the gift receipt read: “ _Pretty Boy, seeing as how you said you’ve never tried it, I figured these would be good to get_ _you going_.  _No need to thank me_. ;p  - _Derek_

 

 _Oh great_ , Spencer thought to himself as he dropped the note back in the box and closed it up tight.  _The first gift I get in almost 5 years is a dildo. Is this really my life?_    

* * *

Spencer’s 15 minute-walk back to his apartment seemed far longer than it ever had before.  Maybe that was because his face was on fire as he walked home with a box filled with sex toys, something that caused him to feel like he had the word “pervert” stamped across his forehead.  The little old lady down the street from him had tried to strike up a conversation with him, even going as far as to ask if he had something “good” in the box he was clutching so tightly, and Spencer had awkwardly stumbled over an excuse before he all but ran from her. 

 

He was just opening the door to his apartment when his phone started ringing.  Reaching in to his pocket as he tried to juggle the box on his hip and turn the key in the lock, Spencer looked down and saw the name on the display.

 

 _Derek_. 

 

For a second Spencer considered not answering it.  He knew it was too much of a coincidence that Derek would call less than 20 minutes after he had retrieved the package.  Spencer wasn’t quite sure he _wanted_ to talk to Derek.  It wasn’t that he was upset by the contents of the box.   Spencer had taken the time spent on his walk to mull over his thoughts and he could honestly say he wasn’t angry with Derek. More than anything he was confused as to whether he actually _wanted_ what was in the box. And that was frustrating in itself. 

 

Spencer’s phone continued to ring but he decided he would _let_ it ring until he had gotten settled.  Letting himself in to his apartment, Spencer set the questionable box down on his computer desk and made his way in to the kitchen.  In the time it took him to make a cup of coffee and return to his desk, Derek had called two more times.  Taking pity on the man, Spencer finally decided to pick up.

 

“Hello?” he asked, casually.

 

“Pretty boy!  Glad you picked up.  I was thinking you were ignoring me for a second,” Derek said, his deep voice having an effect on Spencer even though he wanted to pretend that he was annoyed with the older man.

 

“Why would you think I’d be ignoring you, Derek?” Spencer asked, keeping his voice flat, as he booted up his computer.

 

“Well… I got a notification saying the… ah… present I sent you was picked up,” Derek said.

 

Spencer suddenly wanted to see Derek’s face.  He had never really seen Derek showing any signs of uncertainty.  He was sure Derek also felt a bit out of his element since he couldn’t see _Spencer’s_ face.  They didn’t often talk on the phone.  They had both become quite reliant on being able to see the other one’s expressions.

 

“Did you open it…?” Derek asked after hearing nothing from Spencer for a few seconds.

 

“Yes I did, Derek,” Spencer said simply, not giving anything away.  It was strangely empowering to know that he could make Derek so anxious just by hinting that he was unhappy.  Spencer mulled those thoughts over as he signed in to the video chat program. 

 

“Kid, come on, you’re _killing_ me here,” Derek said, voice somewhere between a groan and a whine. 

 

“Wait!  You’re online?" Derek asked, voice perking up a bit.  "Are you home? Can we video chat?  I can’t deal with not being able to see your face.”  

 

Before Spencer could reply, Derek was already video-calling him and, feeling charitable, Spencer accepted the call.  When Derek’s face filled the screen, Spencer disconnected the call on his cellphone and stared pointedly at Derek with his arms crossed over his chest.

 

“So…” Derek trailed off, looking appropriately chastised. “Would I be correct in guessing you weren’t amused by my gift?”

 

“Amused is _not_ the word I’d use for it Derek,” Spencer said.

 

“Come _on_ , kid,” Derek complained, practically pouting.  “You’re telling me you don’t think you’d have some fun with those?  I put a lot of effort into picking those out for you.”

 

“That’s not the point!  I can’t believe you sent… s-something like _that_ to me.  And it went through my school’s mailroom!  What if someone scanned the contents of the box?” Spencer hissed.  “They’re gonna think I’m some kind of pervert!”

 

“Your school’s not the TSA, Spencer,” Derek explained.  “And besides, I’m sure _tons_ of students are ordering things like that and getting it shipped to them.  It’s not illegal you know.  And it’s _nothing_ to be embarrassed about.”

 

Spencer glared at him for a few seconds before letting out a heavy sigh.

 

“You’re crazy,” he said as he shook his head.  “I just can’t believe you’d send someone.. uh… _those_ in the mail.”  

 

Derek laughed, the tension having already disappeared.

 

“You keep saying "that" and “those,” Spencer.  Is it ‘cause you’re too embarrassed to say the words?” Derek asked, waggling his eyebrows playfully.

 

Spencer looked up at him and gave him an unimpressed pout.  Derek was for some reason  _ridiculously_ perceptive, and always seemed to be able to read into Spencer's words and the things he left unsaid.  

 

“Have you _ever_ said those words out loud?” Derek persisted.  

 

But when Spencer still refused to say anything, Derek tilted his head to the side as if considering a strange thought.

 

“Wait… actually… Please tell me you know what the things I sent you _are_ , Spencer,” Derek said, looking somewhat startled.

 

Spencer blushed hotly.

 

“Of _course_ I know what they are, Derek!  If I didn’t I wouldn’t be so mortified that I opened a package like that out in PUBLIC,” Spencer stressed.

 

He was not amused by how hard Derek laughed after he said that. 

 

“Okay, okay.  So you know what they are… but you’re still too shy to say the words, huh?  Kid, you’re too cute,” Derek said giving him a fond smile. 

 

“I am _not_ cute, Derek.  And it wasn’t cute to send me a… well, one of those,” Spencer said. 

 

And then he remembered that while the penis-shaped and flesh-toned item was pretty impossible to mistake, he actually really had no idea what the other item was.

 

“What’s the silver one?” Spencer asked, against his better judgment.  And he frowned as he saw the grin spread on Derek’s face.

 

“A vibrator.  They call it a “bullet.” It’s small and sleek and I figure a good option for a beginner. Plus, it got great reviews. Everyone says it’s small enough to feel really good from the beginning but really packs a… wallop, shall we say?  You’d work your way up from that to the dildo,” Derek explained, seeming quite impressed with himself.

 

Spencer blanched.  There were so many things he hadn’t been prepared to hear in that statement.  _Vibrator_.  _Work up to it_. _Packs a wallop. DILDO_.  Spencer felt like he wanted to crawl under a rock. 

 

“Sorry to burst your bubble, Derek, but I am _not_ using those,” Spencer said, voice a lot higher than he wanted it to be.

 

Derek laughed.

 

“You sure about that, pretty boy?”  he asked.

 

Spencer glared at him

 

“ _Very_ sure.  I want to remind you that I didn’t ask for these.  I don’t know why you’d think I’d _want_ to use anything like that,” Spencer said. 

 

Just the thought of it made him shudder.  The silver vibrator looked strangely futuristic (which was not the type of thing Spencer would ever want to put _in_ his body) and the dildo well… the thing looked _huge_ , which increased his apprehension for completely different reasons. 

 

“You don’t have to be anxious about it, Spencer.  It’s exactly because you’re so freaked out about it that I sent them to you.  They’re for your own good.  You’re obviously… curious.  And I knew you were never gonna take this step on your own.  This is just to help your education,” Derek said as he gave him an innocent look.

 

Even though Spencer wanted to be annoyed with him, he couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“My “education,” huh?  Why do I doubt that?” Spencer asked.

 

Derek laughed.

 

“What are you implying, pretty boy?” he asked.

 

Spencer crossed his arms over his chest again.

 

“You’re telling me you sent these to me with no ulterior motive of your own?” Spencer asked.

 

“What would my ulterior motives be?” Derek asked, sounding innocent again.

 

Spencer bit his lip as he considered Derek’s words.  He knew _exactly_ why Derek had sent him those “toys.”  Derek had practically insinuated in his text messages that he wanted to _teach_ Spencer how to touch himself and watch him while he was doing it.  There was no way that being sent these items two days after that conversation was unrelated to it. 

 

“You want me to believe that you don’t… you know… wanna _watch_ me using them?” Spencer said in as quiet a voice as could.

 

He watched Derek as he said the words and he could see the almost immediate change in Derek’s expression.  As if Derek was _imagining_ what it would look like as soon as Spencer mentioned it. 

 

“I think it would be _insanely_ sexy to watch you touching yourself like that, baby.  Laying out on the bed with your legs spread, discovering what makes you feel good and finding out what you like.  And all of that for the first time,” Derek said, eyes dark and voice laced with a hint of lust.

 

Spencer found his own pulse quickening and it wasn’t hard to imagine himself doing exactly what Derek was saying. 

  

“But, this isn’t _about_ me, Spencer,” Derek said, drawing Spencer out of his impromptu fantasy.  “Seriously, the reason I sent them to you is because you’re starting to explore your sexuality and I want you to understand what _you_ want—what you like and what you don’t—before you let anyone else touch you.  It’s important that you know how to make yourself feel good before you trust someone else to do that for you.” 

 

Spencer was touched by the sincerity in Derek’s voice.  But it wasn’t lost on him that Derek had chosen to speak in general terms when he was talking about “someone” touching him.  He wasn’t sure if that meant that Derek didn’t see himself doing those things with Spencer.  Because, for Spencer, the only person he would even _consider_ letting touch him like that was Derek.  No question about it.

 

“But, obviously you don’t _have_ to use them if you don’t want to.  I only want you to do what you feel comfortable doing,” Derek said as he smiled at him.  “No pressure, kid.”

 

Spencer smiled shyly back, feeling the anxiety leaving his body.

 

“And… if you want to show me while you’re doing it, well, I won’t object,” Derek said with a grin.

 

“You’re the worst,” Spencer said around a laugh.  

 

“I would’ve also sent you some lube but I didn’t know what was your favorite and I didn’t want to presume,” Derek said, a playful lilt to his tone.  

 

“You don’t think sending me _toys_ was presumptuous?” Spencer asked as he blushed, voice dropping in volume when he said the word “toys.”

 

Derek laughed.

 

“We have progress!” he exclaimed.  “I finally got you to say the word _toys._ Haha.  But, don’t worry, I’ll have you saying things a lot filthier than that in no time.” 

 

Spencer blushed again as he covered his face with his hands.   

 

“Oh my God.  Can we _please_ change the subject??” he asked.

 

"Okay, okay, I promise I won't tease you about it anymore, but at least promise me you're not gonna toss them out immediately.  Think about it a little before you do that, okay?" Derek asked.

 

Groaning, Spencer agreed.  And, true to his word, Derek didn’t bring up his “gifts” again that night. 

* * *

When Spencer was preparing for bed later that night, he couldn’t help the lingering look he gave to the space beneath his bed.  He hadn’t had to talk about the “toys” again since he and Derek had agreed not to, but that didn’t mean he had pushed them completely out of his mind.  And, in fact, he had _physically_ pushed the box under his bed.  He didn’t know where else to keep them.  But he also knew that having them right under his bed would make it even harder to _forget_ about them.

 

Sitting on the edge of his bed, hair still damp from his recent shower, Spencer let the backs of his feet graze along the edge of the box under the bed.  He really hadn’t looked at it again since his embarrassing first-peek in the mailroom. The scientist in him said it really wasn’t _fair_ for him to completely write them off without giving them a fair look.  That didn’t mean he would ever actually use them.  Absolutely not.  But, there was no harm in at least looking at them.  Sighing at his ridiculous thoughts, Spencer decided to just give in. He  reached down and pulled the box out and up on to the bed.

 

Pushing back the cardboard flaps he was met, yet again, with the contents of the box.  The dildo was still at the bottom of the box where he had dropped it after he had immediately recognized what it was.  And now, he found himself reaching for it, face already reflecting his apprehension.  The thick object was encased in a plastic bag which crinkled when he wrapped his hand around it.  Lifting it up, Spencer was surprised by the weight and girth of it.  He didn’t even want to take it out of the bag and feel the texture, but just from squeezing it through the plastic he could tell that it was rubbery and somewhat pliant.  He figured he had been right in his first guess that it was made of silicone.  Blushing, he imagined that probably made it feel more “realistic.”

 

He stared at it with wide eyes as he brought it up closer to his face.  It really was quite lifelike.  It had veins along the length of it, a flared tip, and was slightly curved. There were even testicles at the base and as he turned it upside down he noticed that it also seemed to have some type of suction cup on the bottom. Spencer couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out why it had _that_.  And to be completely honest he didn’t want to know. 

 

What was most disturbing to him now that he was really holding it and seeing how his hand wrapped around the girth was how _big_ it was.  It seemed much bigger in comparison to the small metallic vibrator he had first seen.  The dildo was probably 1 ½ inches in diameter and around 6 inches long.  It felt pretty hefty in his hand and the idea of having something of that size inside of him, well… it was daunting.  And Spencer was pretty confident, from the glimpses he had gotten so far, that Derek was quite a bit _bigger_ than that.  The thought made his stomach flip and, in embarrassment, he placed the item back down into the box.

 

Instead he picked up the so-called “bullet.”  That one, at least, seemed a bit more reasonable.  Reopening the black box and letting the skinny metallic object fall into his palm as he turned the box upside down, Spencer also noticed a small white leaflet fall out.  _Instructions_.  Perfect. That was exactly the kind of thing Spencer liked to see.  Quickly grabbing it, Spencer flipped it open and the first thing he saw was instructions illustrating how to insert the required two AAA batteries.  That was interesting. 

 

Curious, Spencer pushed off of his bed and went over to his closet where he just so happened to have a number of batteries stored.   Opening a pack, Spencer quickly educated himself on how the batteries needed to be inserted and in a few seconds he was popping open the bottom of the “bullet” and inserting a pair of batteries.  As per the instructions, after installing the batteries he was supposed to turn the base of the item to change the “speeds,” of which there were three.  And with a hesitant turn of his wrist, Spencer did just that. 

 

The toy immediately sprung to life in his hand, startling Spencer as it began to gently vibrate.  Well, it felt gentle in his _hand_ , but the idea of having that in other places…?  Yikes.  However, he had to admit that at least the size of it wasn’t as daunting.  It really seemed only a little wider and longer than one of his own fingers, and he knew enough about how things “went” to know that fingers were usually the starting point before moving up to any actual “hardware.”  Curious, Spencer turned the bottom dial again and actually had to hold back his yelp of surprise when the vibrator began to move much more aggressively. 

 

Trying to turn it off, Spencer turned the dial again, but that only resulted in something like a pulsing pattern, where it seemed the item moved from low vibration to high vibration and back again.  He found himself thinking that the sensation was slightly pleasant.  Flushing, Spencer turned it one more time and the toy finally ceased its movements.  Now that the sounds had ceased, the only sound Spencer could hear was the frantic beating of his own heart.  Strangely, his body felt warmer and his mouth felt dry.    

 

Shaking his head, Spencer quickly walked back to his bed and dropped the toy into the box next to its big “brother.”  Then he quickly pushed it under his bed with his toes. 

 

Out of sight, out of mind.

 

Climbing in to bed and flicking off the light, plunging the room in to darkness, Spencer tried to will himself to go to sleep.  With all that Spencer had said to Derek about the gifts being tasteless and an all-around bad idea, he was starting to think that they were a bad idea for a completely different reason now. 

 

He might actually _want_ to try it.   

* * *

A/N:  Hope you guys enjoyed this!  Haha. Sorry I didn’t actually get around to having Spencer “try out” his new toys.  Unfortunately, this chapter got long and I got very tired (I’m writing these things in like one day for some reason --__--), so I figured this was a good place to stop.  I also probably spent far too much time doing “research” for this and I am now somewhat apprehensive about what Amazon may “suggest” to me next time I log on, haha!  Anywho, please let me know your thoughts on the chapter!  Xoxo

 


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: So, I’m really sorry for the long wait guys!   I guess I spoke too soon and was too optimistic about Summer = Freedom --_--.  I have been SO busy at school that I just haven’t had the energy/been in the _mood_ to write.  Unfortunately, updates may continue to be slow, but I’m definitely not abandoning the fic!  Thanks as always for reading and commenting!  It’s really great to hear from you all; definitely helps keep me motivated! :D  In this chapter you'll find more Spencer-fun-time porny goodness. Haha. What's new?  xoxo

* * *

Things had pretty much gone back to “normal” following the receipt of Derek’s “gifts.”  Well, as normal as flirting (and oftentimes engaging in quite lewd acts) with an older man on the internet could be.  But Derek had been doing a relatively good job at _not_ specifically mentioning "that which shall not be named" every time they talked online.

 

He would, however, vaguely hint at it.  Asking Spencer questions like “try anything fun today?” or “got anything special to tell me?”  But Spencer would just fix him with an unimpressed glare and Derek would laugh and back off the topic.

 

Spencer didn’t need Derek’s coy suggestions to remind him that he had a box of sex toys under his bed though.  Spencer had been thinking about them _every day_ since he had received them.  He hadn’t pulled the box out since the first day, but he sometimes found his thoughts drifting to them even though he couldn’t see them.  When he was in class he would find himself thinking about how the small little vibrator had felt in his hands, and wondering about what those vibrations might feel like _inside_ of him.  Or he would be waiting in line to get coffee, and find himself doing mental calculations, comparing the size of the dildo Derek had sent him with _Derek’s_ size, and wondering if he could really take it. 

 

And all these thoughts often left Spencer feeling like an absolute pervert.  Well, like a pervert _and_ extremely turned on.  He wondered what was happening to him.  A few months ago Spencer barely paid _any_ attention to himself “in that way,” except for the times when the urge got too insistent to ignore and he had to engage in a little "self-love" to clear his mind.  Now, he was _so_ aware of his body and his feelings that he was starting to think it was making him stupid.  He had no empirical evidence to back it up, but he didn’t believe you could have your thoughts filled with sex all day and still have the brain capacity to get anything _else_ done. 

 

It was quite frustrating.  And while Spencer had pretty good control of himself—he had never been someone controlled by his sexual desires in the first place—it was almost impossible to think thoughts like the ones that were currently flooding his mind and _not_ have a “physical” reaction to them.  More and more frequently, Spencer found himself sporting a particularly mortifying semi-erection. It was like he was going through puberty all over again.  And he whole-heartedly blamed Derek for it.

 

And with all the flirting, and the insinuation, and the big, toothy, lascivious grins, he began to think that that might have been Derek’s goal all along.  To make Spencer so worked up that all Spencer could do was think about him all day.  If that was the case, it was definitely _working_. 

 

Spencer couldn’t help but bring it up the next time he spoke with Derek. 

 

As soon as Derek’s smiling face filled the screen, Spencer got straight to the point. 

 

“I think I figured out why you really sent me those… uh… those _things_ ,” Spencer muttered.

 

Derek laughed, eyes twinkling in his amusement.

 

“Oh, well, good evening to you too Pretty Boy.  Clearly you’ve had some things on your mind.  So we’re going to finally talk about it now?” Derek asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Spencer gave him a heatless glare, before averting his eyes.

 

“It’s kind of impossible to _ignore_ them now that I have them, Derek,” Spencer complained.

 

He wasn’t very impressed with Derek’s loud bark of laughter.

 

“You have been doing an _amazing_ job at ignoring them so far, kid,” Derek said.  “Every time I even _tried_ to hint at it, you blocked me like you were training to be an offensive lineman!”

 

Spencer gave him a blank stare.

 

“A what?” he asked, perplexed.

 

“Football.  Blocking?  You know what, never mind,” Derek said with a laugh.  “What I’m trying to say is that you’ve really made it clear that you most definitely did not want to address the proverbial elephant in the room.” 

 

Spencer groaned. 

 

“Well, I’m not going to _address_ it, per se…  I mean… nothing has changed in their status of use.  I mean _disuse_!” Spencer said, cheeks burning. _“_ But, what I’m _trying_ to say is that I think it’s unfair that you’re making me think about doing something like that.  To have it in my mind all the time.  I’m not this kind of _person_.”

 

“What are you talking about?  I’m not _making_ you do anything.  I agreed I wouldn’t bring it up. And I _haven’t_ ,” Derek said, eyebrows furrowing. 

 

“But I can’t stop _thinking_ about it!  And about… you know… what they’re _used_ for. And what they’d feel like,” Spencer said in a flurry of words.  “And that’s unfair!”

 

Derek laughed.

 

“Wow, pretty boy. I mean, if you’re thinking about them that much—and I haven’t even really brought it up since I sent them to you—that kind of makes me think that the situation is more that _you_ actually want to try it.  That’s really got nothing to do with me, now does it?” Derek said, lips pulling up in a smirk.

 

Spencer stared at him, speechless.  It wasn’t often that Spencer was at a loss for words.  Or couldn’t come up with some kind of argument to refute another person’s point.  But, Derek telling him that _Spencer_ was the reason the thoughts wouldn’t leave his mind and that Derek really wasn’t to “blame” for it, was something Spencer had never really considered.  It just wasn’t _logical_. 

 

“I’m gonna let you process that,” Derek said with a chuckle.  “And in the meantime, I’m going to stand by my word of not bringing it up.  I’ll wait until you tell me you want to talk to me about it, kid.”

 

Spencer looked up to see Derek’s genuine smile and couldn’t help a little smile of his own.  It didn’t change the fact that Spencer was still somewhat imploding inside.  That he couldn’t shift the accountability for his sudden fixation on _touching_ himself on to someone else left Spencer with a rather unpleasant realization.   Maybe he was really “that kind of person” after all.  Spencer blushed.

 

“So tell me about your day, Pretty Boy,” Derek asked with a knowing smile.

 

Spencer was happy for the distraction.       

* * *

 

Three days later the only word Spencer could think of to describe himself was _stressed_. 

 

Following his conversation with Derek, Spencer had moved right into one of the most unpleasant points in the schoolyear: Midterms.  Life for a PhD student was different from an undergraduate.  Spencer was only taking two courses that term, but he was practically _teaching_ three.  And on top of having to create written exams for those courses, Spencer also had to proctor and grade them.  And dealing with undergraduate students—who all wanted to beg for extra credit assignments last minute, or whine that they needed him to make time to lead review sessions—was running Spencer a bit ragged.

 

Derek had picked up on how much pressure Spencer seemed to be under, and had gone out of his way to keep Spencer’s spirits up.  With jokes and compliments, and trying anything he could do to make Spencer laugh.  He had also been understanding of how Spencer couldn’t spend as much time talking to him at night as he usually did.  So their conversations had been short.  Just quick check-ins to make sure Spencer was staying sane.

 

And Spencer appreciated that.  He loved that it showed that Derek cared about him.  That Derek wanted to know how his day was going.  And that Derek didn’t mind hearing Spencer rant about his students.  And that Derek checked every night to make sure Spencer had had more than just a cup of coffee throughout the day.  (Although sometimes Spencer lied about that, just a little bit). And that he was actually _sleeping_.

 

But Spencer missed the _flirting_ ; the teasing.  How Derek’s words made his heart flutter in his chest and his pants tighten.  He knew that Derek was trying to be accommodating, but he actually felt much better after he and Derek “played” online, listening to his deep voice telling him to do dirty things that would make him come faster than Spencer ever could when he was imagining it on his own.  By the time they were done, Spencer always felt all loose and relaxed, a nice tingly feeling rolling over him in waves.  He always slept so well after that, like all the stresses of the day had been obliterated.  He hadn’t had that feeling for _days_ now.  And, quite honestly, Spencer was a bit pent up. 

 

So the day before midterms were set to be over, Spencer found himself sitting on his bed filled with nervous energy, and unable to sleep, with his computer opened up in front of him.  He was feeling a mixture of guilt and anticipation. But more than anything, he was just extremely horny.  And he was sure that was what had gotten him to this current point. 

 

He glanced over to what was on the bed next to him and blushed as his eyes landed on the bottle of lube.  Derek was right, he _did_ have a brand he preferred.  And now he was going to use it to… Shaking his head, Spencer quickly shirked off his pajama bottoms and underwear before grabbing the bottle and lying back against the pillows.   He had left his t-shirt on, the idea of being completely naked making him feel overexposed.    But he couldn’t help tugging the shirt up, exposing his lower abs and navel, as he rubbed at the sensitive skin there, already feeling the anticipation thrumming through him. 

 

Contrary to what he had told Derek, Spencer had actually done quite a bit of… "research" before he had even gotten to this point.  Even though Spencer had not touched the toys again, he couldn’t deny that the toys had made him curious about the whole process of using them.  The concept of touching himself in that way was so foreign to him that he didn’t even know how to really imagine it without any reference materials, so to speak.  He had wanted to see what other people looked like when they used them; whether they actually _enjoyed_ it. 

 

And so Spencer had spent hours (far longer than he would like to admit) watching videos and reading step by step instructions on how to actually touch himself _there_.  He learned about the need to “prep,” about getting slick and stretching, needing to relax so the muscles would give.  It all seemed to make sense to him, logically, but he was smart enough to know that reading about it—or even _watching_ it—was never going to be the same as trying the real thing.  Spencer was a scientist, first and foremost, and he was always one for a good experiment.  But he had always been too hesitant to try it, fearing that he would mess it up in some way. 

 

But now, feeling on edge and needy, Spencer really wanted to _try_ it. 

 

With a huff, Spencer relaxed against his sheets, pulling his knees up so that his legs were parted and his feet were firmly planted on the bed.    He couldn’t stop himself from blushing at the idea of himself being so exposed.  He knew no one could see him in the privacy of his bedroom, but he couldn’t help but imagine what Derek would think seeming him like that.  Spread and open for the older man’s hungry gaze.  He could already imagine Derek’s eyes darkening, his breathing picking up.  Derek always looked like he was one step away from devouring Spencer whenever they talked over video.  Spencer could only imagine how much more passionate Derek would be if they were looking at each other in _person_.

 

Trembling as a jolt of desire ran up his spine, Spencer spread his legs even wider and flicked open the bottle of lube.  Squeezing some out, he slathered it over his fingers.  Closing the bottle he dropped it down on the bed next to him.  Tentatively Spencer brought his fingers down to the cleft between his cheeks and hesitantly stroked his fingers against the furled skin of his hole.  It felt strange touching himself there, but Spencer continued to circle his fingers around the tight muscle, spreading the lube, like he saw in videos and trying to get comfortable with the feeling.  Letting out a small sigh of contentment, Spencer slowly dragged his fingers upward, running them over his perineum and then his balls, and then finally allowing his fingers to stroke up and over his already hard cock, circling the head, before running back down again.  He did this a few more times—leisurely trailing his fingers up to his cock then down to his hole and back again—before he found himself relaxed enough to move on. 

 

He was flushed already, panting slightly, and finding it hard to not focus completely on his cock that wanted _attention_ , seeing as he hadn’t come in quite a few days.  But Spencer pointedly ignored it, knowing that that wasn’t what he had set out to achieve right now. 

 

No. He wanted to try something very different.  Spreading his legs a little wider, Spencer became aware of the fact that he could see his computer screen between his spread thighs, paused on a video he had recently been watching, and an idea struck him.  He wanted to know what he _looked_ like while doing this.  Spencer had no idea whether what he was doing would actually be considered attractive or not.   He knew Derek would want to see it at some point.  That was obvious.  And Spencer wanted to make sure he looked good for Derek.  Not awkward and fumbling, but well-practiced.  Confident. And, well, _sexy_. 

 

Sitting up a bit, Spencer used his left hand to open his laptop’s camera.  He immediately flushed as his image flooded the screen.  He could clearly see himself, legs spread and cock standing at attention, in the screen like he was looking into a mirror.  He was so embarrassed.  But he fought the urge to immediately close it out.  No.  Instead he _looked_. 

 

He could see the skin between his thighs, slick and glistening with the lube he had spread.  He could see his hole—dusky pink and small—on full display between his cheeks.  He could see that his pale skin was already flushed across his chest and neck. And his eyes?  Well his eyes looked wild.  A mix between hunger and need.  It was something he had never seen before, but it made a shiver run up his spine. He wondered if that was what Derek felt like whenever he looked at him. 

 

Unbelievably turned on by that, Spencer resumed stroking himself, watching with half-lidded eyes the image reflected back at him.  He focused on the image of himself playing with his hole as he rubbed around the skin, applying more pressure and teasing the sensitive nerves there.  It actually felt kind of good and he found his body relaxing in to it.  But Spencer knew there was more to this than just teasing himself like this.  He wanted to know what it felt like to go further. 

  

He fumbled for the lube bottle and quickly poured more out to coat the tips of his fingers.  He was nervous about it, but he told himself that there was nothing to be afraid of.  It was unlikely that it was going to hurt; doctors did this to patients every day.  And Spencer had watched enough videos to understand the basic mechanics to make sure he didn’t do anything that would cause him undue pain.  Even with knowing he probably had all the information he would need, it was still a bit nerve-wracking. It was so very “unknown.”  But what really drove Spencer was what trying this would lead to.  He knew that if he ever one day had sex with Derek—something he was starting to realize more and more that he really might want—he would have to surmount much more than just putting a finger inside of himself.

 

And the thought of that filled Spencer with a mix of desire and excitement.  Biting his lip, he brought his slickened fingers back down between his legs.  Circling his hole a few more times to relax himself, Spencer took a breath and then began to push, applying pressure to surmount the resistance he felt.  As the tip of his finger slipped inside he let out a soft grunt. 

 

It felt… _weird_.  Not particularly painful. Just strange.  And a little uncomfortable.  Like something definitely didn’t _belong_ there; like it was too big.  But that wasn’t enough to stop him.  If anything, Spencer was persistent. 

 

He furrowed his brows in concentration as he pushed in a little further.  He watched himself, somewhat awestruck, as his finger was slowly swallowed by his slick hole.  Although it still felt insanely odd, Spencer couldn’t deny that there was something extremely arousing about watching his body being penetrated like this.  He blushed at the thought and slowly began to pump his finger in and out, feeling his body adjusting to the strange intrusion.  After a few minutes, Spencer had been able to sink his finger inside himself up to the second knuckle.    

 

But even though Spencer was impressed with himself for having gotten so far and not chickening out, he still didn’t think it felt all that great.  He couldn’t get what all the hype was about.  Why did the boys in those videos moan and buck their hips like it was the best thing that was happening to them?  Was he just not doing it right?  Or were the people in porn all _faking_?  The thought was disheartening.  How would he ever be able to do this for Derek if he couldn’t even get _off_ on it?

 

Throwing his head back with a sigh, Spencer closed his eyes and tried to worm his finger in a little deeper.  That was a bit more uncomfortable and he eased off, pumping his finger shallowly but more quickly.  Biting his lip, he began to stroke his cock, hoping to get more stimulation.  With his eyes closed, it became easier to think of the hands touching him as not his own.  Suddenly, he found himself imagining that it was Derek’s hand closed hot and tight around his cock.  And that it was Derek’s fingers pushing in to him.  And his breath hitched.

 

Spencer moaned as his hips jerked upward, pushing up against the tight warmth of his fist and then back down against the finger inside of him.  Suddenly it started to feel a lot _better._ Being able to take his mind off of the clinical mechanics of it made Spencer realize the intimacy of what he was doing.  How touching himself like this so unabashedly was probably the most honest thing he’d ever experienced. And how he liked the idea of being able to share that intimate moment with another person.  Namely _Derek._

 

Quickly that one finger that had felt weird and awkward, felt like it was now not _enough_.  Spencer slid his finger out with a breathy moan and then grabbed the bottle of lube with his unoccupied hand.  He quickly squirted a bit more out, letting it run messily down the cleft of his ass before he returned his hand to its place between his legs, this time pressing two inside of himself. 

 

Spencer let out a surprised gasp as he arched slightly off the bed.  Now _that_ definitely was a lot more uncomfortable than the initial first finger.  He felt a noticeable burn as his muscle stretched to accommodate his fingers.  But he also felt a satisfying feeling of _fullness._  Like this was what he was looking for and just hadn’t known it.  Spencer moaned as he pushed his slick fingers in deeper, liking the stretch and the pull, imagining how it would feel to have something even bigger inside of him.  To have someone hovering over him, hot body caging him in and making him feel so small and vulnerable.  And all he could think was _Derek_ , _Derek_ , _Derek_.

 

Then his fingers slipped deeper, brushing something inside of him that made his toes curl and his vision cloud with bursts of light.  He gasped, throwing his head back and arching his back off the bed. 

 

 _What was THAT_?

 

But it was like his body didn’t have to be told twice that it had liked that, even if Spencer didn’t know what the sensation had been.  He continued to thrust his fingers inside of himself as he frantically stroked his cock.  And every time his fingers clumsily bumped into that electrifying bundle of nerves inside of him, Spencer let out a whine of pleasure.  He was panting by the time he was ready to come.  So worked up that he felt like he couldn’t breathe. But he didn’t want to stop.  Moaning out load, Spencer squeezed his eyes shut, thoughts filled with Derek and body thrumming with pleasure as he continued to push himself to the unavoidable edge.  And then within moments he was coming, feeling his muscles clamping down on his fingers as his cock pulsed, painting his stomach and shirt in streaks of come. 

 

It took Spencer a few minutes to regain his breath.  Dazedly, he stared up at the ceiling, breathing heavily, shocked that he had just come like that.  And that he was now lying here, covered in his own come and with his fingers still embedded inside of him.  Feeling somewhat embarrassed, he gingerly eased his fingers out.  But he couldn’t deny that that had felt good. All the pressure and the stress from the last few days had practically disappeared.  

 

Settling against his pillows, Spencer decided that he couldn’t be bothered to move.  To get up and take a shower.  To tidy up or otherwise hide what he had just done.  He already felt that delicious heaviness washing over him.  It had been just what he needed.  He fell asleep with a content smile on his lips. 

* * *

Spencer passed the next day at school unsurprisingly quite distracted.  His thoughts flitted from his excitement about what he had actually worked up the courage to _do_ and his curiosity to try it again (or, more specifically, to try _other_ things).   But he also found himself flushing whenever his thoughts landed on what Derek would think.  Spencer was seriously debating whether or not he would tell Derek.  Just _thinking_ about saying the words made his face heat up.  He already knew he’d be way too embarrassed; he’d stutter and sweat and come across as all kinds of crazy. 

 

But he couldn’t deny that there was a small part of him—a part of himself that he had only become aware of after he had started talking to Derek—that wanted to see the way Derek’s eyes would light up with interest, and his lips would quirk up into a pleased smirk once he told him.  He liked it when Derek _praised_ him.  When Derek told him he liked the way he looked.  Or that he found him sexy.  It sent a shiver of pleasure down Spencer’s spine. 

 

He would never _admit_ that to Derek though.  But that was also a part of it.  Derek always seemed to know what Spencer was thinking—the things Spencer _wanted_ to say and wanted to do, but was just too shy to voice them.  But there was something about Derek that helped Spencer forget about all of his insecurities in that moment.  It made him feel like he wouldn’t be judged and he didn’t need to be that self-conscious.  And Derek was the only person who had ever made him feel that way.

 

But that wasn’t to say that it was _easy_ for Spencer to feel that sense of trust.  There was so much about their relationship that involved Derek playfully and gently coaxing and Spencer finding himself responding.  But Spencer liked that Derek held that kind of power over him.  He liked it and found it scary all at the same time.  It gave him this kind of nervous energy, like he was always on edge and could never predict what was going to come next.  And for someone who had lived a very structured, rigid life, it was a nice surprise to feel like he could relinquish control to another person.  It was exciting. 

 

So it came as no surprise that when Spencer finally got home from school that day, he was looking forward to talking to Derek, but was anxious about it at the same time.  Spencer was sitting cross-legged on his bed with his laptop in front of him as he rang Derek at the agreed-upon time.  When Derek’s face appeared on the screen, Spencer’s stomach did a little flip. Like it always did.  His stomach always filled with butterflies and warmth. Spencer tried to school his face, so that he wouldn’t give anything away to Derek.  However, Spencer didn’t have very high hopes that that would be enough to fool Derek.  The man was sometimes astoundingly perceptive. 

 

“Hey sweetness, how’s it going?” Derek asked with flirty grin.

 

“Hey, Derek,” Spencer said, giving him a small smile back.  “It’s going well.”

 

“Happy to finally be done with Midterms?” Derek asked, as he leaned back in his chair. 

 

Spencer watched Derek open a can of beer and take a long swig.  His eyes were drawn by the strong muscles of Derek’s neck and he couldn’t help as his eyes followed that path to his collarbones and shoulders, then down to his impressive biceps.

 

“Kid?” Derek asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. 

 

And Spencer’s eyes snapped back up to Derek’s.  Derek was trying to hold back a smile and Spencer quickly looked away, embarrassed.

 

“You know I don’t mind if you look your fill, babe,” Derek said flirtatiously.  “Want me to take my shirt off so you can get a better view?”

 

Spencer let out a huff as he rolled his eyes and tried not to laugh.

 

“No, but in all seriousness, baby, I missed you,” Derek said with a smile.

 

Spencer was shocked by how hard his heart _thumped_ in his chest when Derek said that.

 

“I missed you too, Derek,” he said quickly.

 

But then he blushed hotly as he remembered what _missing_ Derek had led to.  It had led to him being extremely horny, somewhat reckless, and _touching_ himself.  And then it was almost like a domino effect, his mind filling with images of himself in his computer screen, legs splayed and back arched.  Ashamed, he quickly ducked his head and looked away.

 

“Wait, wait, wait. What is all that about?” Derek asked as he raised an eyebrow and gestured toward Spencer’s rendition of a tomato

 

“Nothing! I don’t know what you’re talking about.  How was your day?” Spencer sputtered.

 

Derek laughed.

 

“Okay… You look like a kid who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Spencer,” Derek teased.

 

“I do not!” Spencer complained.

 

“You look hella guilty.  How about we just make this easy on everyone and you come clean.  What’s on your mind?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer blushed.  He bit his lip as he thought it over.  Derek was probably right.  Derek was going to drag it out of him, and that process would likely be tons more embarrassing than if Spencer just _said_ it.  Spencer took a deep breath. 

 

“I _did_ it, okay?” Spencer said, averting his eyes.

 

Derek was silent for a second, and Spencer couldn’t help but look back up.  It was clear Derek was trying to contain his excitement and for some reason that made Spencer feel more embarrassed and less embarrassed at the same time. 

 

“Did _what_ exactly?” Derek asked, with a grin.

 

Spencer let out a disgruntled sigh.

 

“Don’t make me say it!” he protested.

 

Derek laughed.

 

“Baby, you got to admit that ‘I did it’ is _super_ vague.  I could be thinking about a lot of things.  And you don’t want me to use my imagination,” Derek teased, raising his eyebrows suggestively. 

 

Spencer glared at him, practically pouting.  But, again, Derek was _right_.  

 

“I… um….tried… Well, _you know_ … Uh…with my fingers?” Spencer offered, cringing at how little that jumble of words resembled an actual sentence.

 

“Oh yeah?” Derek asked 

 

Spencer nodded shyly.

 

“ _So_?” Derek pressed.

 

“So, what?” Spencer asked, brows furrowing. 

 

“So, how _was_ it??” Derek asked, smiling.  “Did you like it?”

 

Spencer looked away.

 

“I think so…?” he said noncommittally.  

 

“You ‘think’ so?” Derek asked sounding confused but also amused.  “Things didn’t go too well the first time off the bat?”

 

Spencer blushed.

 

“Well… it definitely took a while to… um… figure it out, I guess.  I did a lot of research beforehand,” Spencer said.

 

“I’m sure you did, baby,” Derek said with a laugh.  “I wouldn’t expect any less of you.”

 

Spencer’s cheeks burned, but he couldn’t help but smile.

 

“So did it feel good?” Derek asked, voice getting a little lower.

 

A shiver of excitement ran up Spencer's spine.  That always happened when Derek talked to him that way.

 

“It… well, it was a little weird at first,” Spencer admitted.  “But then it definitely _started_ to feel good.”

 

“Yeah?  So you were able to touch yourself and make yourself feel good, huh?” Derek asked.   “I love to hear that baby.”

 

Spencer preened under Derek’s praise. 

 

“I actually liked it a lot more by the end than I did at the beginning.  But, I think… I think that maybe it would’ve been better if I wasn’t… you know, if _I_ wasn’t the one doing it,” Spencer admitted.

 

“Oh yeah?  Were you thinking about someone touching you, baby?” Derek asked, voice already sounding strained and hand moving to the front of his pants. 

 

Spencer had to hold back a moan.  He couldn’t believe how quickly he could get turned on by Derek.  But already he felt his cock stirring and his breathing getting heavier.  Swallowing thickly he nodded. 

 

“I thought about _you_ , Derek,” Spencer said.  “It only started to feel good once I imagined that it was your hands touching me and… y-your fingers _inside_ of me.”

 

“Mm, baby.  You don’t know how much that turns me on to hear you say that.  You want to show me what you look like when you touch yourself there?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer could see that Derek was palming at his crotch, cock already a very noticeable bulge under his hand.  Spencer gulped.

 

“You want to see me… use my fingers?” Spencer asked softly.

 

“You wanna use one of the toys instead?” Derek asked with a grin.

 

Spencer flushed.

 

“I-I haven’t tried that yet,” Spencer said.

 

“I know.  I’d like to see you try it,” Derek said. “Do you wanna try that with me, Spencer?”

 

Spencer’s stomach clenched at the thought of that.  He could already imagine how it would feel to have Derek’s heavy gaze on him.  It made his skin feel like it was tingling with warmth. 

 

“I… Maybe I can try…?” Spencer offered.  “But… I can’t make any promises.”

 

“That’s ok baby.  It’s enough that you want to try them.  I can’t wait to see how sexy you’ll look opening yourself up for me,” Derek purred.

 

Spencer flushed and covered his face.  Derek was always so _direct_.  But he couldn’t deny that it ignited that part of him that always got so excited when Derek made requests like this.  Smiling shyly, Spencer pushed his laptop to the foot of his bed. 

 

“Um… I have to… uh, you know, get everything ready, so just hold on a sec, okay?” Spencer asked.

 

“Sure thing baby.  I can’t wait,” Derek said with a wink.

 

Spencer blushed and nodded before crawling off the bed.  Once he was out of Derek’s sight Spencer dropped to his knees on the floor.  He pushed his hand underneath his bed and felt around until his fingers bumped into the previously abandoned box.  Pulling it out, Spencer opened it up and stared down at the contents.  The two boxes were still sitting there as he had left them.  Blushing, Spencer grabbed both boxes before standing up. 

 

He tossed them on the bed and, out of Derek’s sight, began to strip his clothes off.  Spencer’s hands moved quickly, unbuttoning his dress shirt and shirking off his jeans, knowing that if he thought too much about it he would get self-conscious.  He stopped when he was down to nothing but his briefs.

 

Spencer reached in to his bedside table to retrieve his bottle of lube before crawling back on to the bed and into Derek’s eyesight.

 

Derek whistled as soon as he saw him and Spencer blushed.

 

“Damn, baby.  Look at _you_ ,” Derek said, eyes unabashedly raking up and down Spencer’s form. 

 

If Spencer wasn’t so shy, he’d say the same thing back to _Derek_.  While Spencer had been busy getting his “supplies” ready, Derek had taken it upon himself to get more comfortable as well.  Derek had stripped down to just his underwear and had moved from his desk to his bed.  From where Derek was sitting cross-legged, Spencer could see all of Derek’s strong, broad chest and his impressive tattooed biceps.  His eyes trailed down Derek’s flat, sculpted abs to his tented black boxer-briefs and muscled thighs.  He looked so _good_.

 

“You ready to do this, pretty boy?” Derek asked, grinning. 

 

Spencer ducked his head but nodded shyly.

 

“Just… just don’t… you know, say anything _embarrassing_ ,” Spencer warned him.

 

Derek chuckled.

 

“I’m not exactly sure I can promise you that, baby.  You get embarrassed over _everything_.  But you know I like that part about you too,” Derek said with a wink.

 

Spencer flushed, unable to deny that Derek’s compliments always made him feel warm and glowy.  Instead of responding, Spencer reached up to the waistband of his underwear and quickly pulled them down. 

 

“Beautiful, baby,” Derek purred.  “But scoot up the bed a little more so I can see all of you.” 

 

Spencer bit his lip as he shifted until his body was on full-display in the screen.  He blushed hotly when he saw his body, already so embarrassed by doing this.  But the way Derek was looking at him made his heart pound thunderously in his chest.  It was almost too much.  Spencer knew his cock was already embarrassingly hard.  He would come too soon at this rate.  Whining softly, Spencer squeezed his eyes shut and laid his head back against the pillow.

 

Almost as if his body had a mind of its own, Spencer slowly parted his thighs and brought his hand down to stroke at his straining erection.  He gave himself a few good strokes before he reached for the bottle of lube with his other hand.  He was sure he could hear Derek’s intake of breath, and the thought that Derek was just as on edge as he was gave him a delicious thrill.  Spencer’s fingers clumsily flipped the cap off the bottle and he brought it between his legs to dribble some of the slippery liquid over his hole.  He gasped as soon as it touched him, bucking his hips upwards, and this time he was _sure_ he heard Derek echo his sound.

 

And that was enough to make Spencer’s self-consciousness dissipate.  Derek wasn’t going to judge him.  In fact, Derek thought he was _attractive_.  And that was strangely empowering.  Moaning, Spencer brought his fingers down to his hole, stroking the sensitive flesh and spreading the lube over his fingers.  Then he tilted his hips and began working his finger inside. 

 

“Shit, baby, _yesss_ ,” Derek hissed. “Look at that pretty little hole.  You’re doing such a good job sweetie.” 

 

And something about how excited Derek sounded made Spencer relax all the more.  He was so turned on that he found it so much easier to work his finger inside of himself.  A surprised moan slipped from his lips as his finger sank deeper inside.  It felt insanely good.  His body was tingling and his nerves all felt like they were firing.  It must be because _Derek_ was watching.  Spencer let out a louder moan as his other hand went to his cock to stroke it in time with the slow pumping of the finger he had buried inside of himself. 

 

“Look at how good you’re taking it,” Derek praised him. “Let me see if you can fit another one in there, baby.”     

 

And without skipping a beat, Spencer slowly wormed a second finger inside.  It was still an uncomfortable stretch and he couldn’t stop the soft hiss that escaped his lips, but the discomfort couldn’t outweigh how _good_ it felt to be filled like that.  

 

“It’s really tight isn’t it?” Derek asked. 

 

Eyes still squeezed shut, Spencer nodded his head.

 

“Just go slow baby.  Nice and slow.  Open yourself up for me.  Are you imagining it’s my fingers buried deep inside of you?”  Derek asked.

 

Spencer whined and bucked his hips involuntarily.  Derek’s voice was doing things to him.  It made his head all dizzy and his body flood with heat.

 

“I’m imagining it too, baby.  I’m imagining touching you.  Running my hands up those creamy thighs of yours and spreading your legs open.  Kissing every inch of you from your ankles to your hip bones.  Licking you everywhere until you’re crying with how badly you want me,” Derek groaned out. 

  

Spencer could hear the strain in Derek’s voice.  And he wanted to see for himself just how worked up Derek was.  Cracking his eyes open, Spencer lifted his head off the pillow to take a peek at the screen from between his spread legs.  He could see that Derek was stroking himself as well. And when he saw the look on Derek’s face—eyes dark and heavy-lidded, lips parted as his breath came out in breathy pants—Spencer felt a jolt of desire hit him right in the stomach.  His toes curled and his back arched.  

 

“I think I’m gonna come soon, Derek,” Spencer whined. 

 

Spencer was so surprised by how quickly his body had reacted.  He hadn’t even touched that spot inside of him yet that had made him see stars yesterday.  Just thinking of Derek’s words—and imagining each and every one of Derek’s touches as the man described them—had been enough to leave Spencer’s cock dripping copious amounts of pre-come.  Every drag of his fingers over his over-sensitized length sent shivers up his spine. 

 

“No, no, baby.  I don’t want you to come yet.  You gotta hold out alright?  I want to see you come while using one of the nice gifts I sent you.  You think you’re ready to try one out?” Derek asked, voice thick with desire. 

 

Spencer forced himself to stop moving his hands, easing his fingers out of his tight channel, as he tried to come back down from the edge.  He needed to clear his head. 

 

 _Derek wanted him to use the toys_.

 

Before Spencer probably would have hemmed and hawed at length about it.  But at this point, Spencer just wanted to come.  And he started to wonder how much better it would feel if he used one of the items laid out on the bed next to him.

 

Spencer glanced at the image of Derek’s smiling face on the screen before licking his lips and reaching for the smaller box.  He quickly opened it, sliding the small silver toy into his hand.  He felt the weight of in his palm and a tremble of anticipation went up his spine.  It looked bigger than one of his fingers but definitely more slender than two.  It wasn’t as scary as the first time he had looked at it when Derek sent it to him.  Now, he was actually thinking that having something that size inside of him would feel so _nice_.He swallowed thickly as he reached for the bottle of lube and squeezed some out, coating the slim object before he scooted back and rested against the pillows.  

 

Concentrating, Spencer brought the toy down between his legs, rubbing it against the sensitive skin of his entrance.  He moaned softly as it sent delicious shivers throughout his body.  He quickly glanced up at the screen and could see how intently Derek was staring at him, eyes fixated on what Spencer’s hands were doing.  Emboldened, Spencer bit his lip as he began pressing the toy inside of himself.  Spencer let out a contented sigh as he felt the toy fill him, reaching deeper than his fingers could.  His legs subconsciously spread wider as he tilted his hips and pumped the toy in and out.  

 

“Looks like my baby’s liking that, isn’t he?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer whimpered as he nodded.

 

“How about you turn it on?” Derek suggested.

 

Spencer had almost forgotten that it had that capability.  He was enjoying it enough just as it was.  But remembering what the vibration had felt like in his hand when he had turned it on the first time, his mind was immediately flooded with thoughts of what those vibrations would feel like inside.  His fingers found their way to the base of the toy and with a flick of his wrist, he was turning the dial on the bottom and switching the toy on. 

 

As soon as the toy came to life, Spencer let out a surprised cry, hips bucking up erratically.  It was like nothing he had ever felt before.  The toy pulsed pleasantly inside of him, rubbing against him in ways Spencer would never have been able to achieve on his own.

 

“Derek!” Spencer cried out, as his toes curled and his cock twitched.  “I’m gonna come!  I’m gonna come!”

 

“Me too, baby,” Derek responded, breathing labored.  “Me too.”  

 

Spencer squeezed his eyes shut, listening to Derek’s voice as they both moved closer and closer to their climaxes.  It was only a few moments more before Derek let out a curse and a groan, a telltale sign that he was coming.  Listening to Derek made Spencer move the toy faster, pretending that Derek was inside of him, hips moving faster and faster as he released.  Spencer gritted his teeth as he felt the vibrating toy bump against the bundle of nerves inside of him and he let out an embarrassingly loud whine as his climax hit him.  It took his breath away, making stars burst behind his eyelids. It was like everything had gone white.  

 

It was a few moments more before Spencer came back to himself.  When he was finally able to gather his bearings he realized the toy was still buzzing inside of him and his insides were throbbing with the aftereffects of his orgasm.  With weak limbs, Spencer reached down to turn the toy off and ease it out.  Letting out a contented exhale, he smiled lazily up at the ceiling. 

 

“Baby, you okay there?” Derek asked, pulling Spencer back from his sated daze.           

 

Spencer tiredly pushed himself up on to his elbows, looking at Derek with a sheepish grin.

 

“You’re really beautiful, Spencer.  You know that?” Derek asked.

 

“Derek,” Spencer protested, feeling embarrassed.

 

“No, I’m serious.  You are so perfect baby.  I can’t believe I’m so lucky to have someone like you in my life,” Derek said. 

 

Spencer looked at Derek with wide eyes, breath hitching in his throat.

 

“I know I don’t say it often enough, but talking to you is like the highlight of my day.  No matter what has happened I know that when I see your face it all goes away.  And I really appreciate how much you’re willing to trust me and share with me.  You’re sexy as hell, baby.  And you don’t know it, but people would kill to have even an ounce of your attention,” Derek said.      

 

“Derek… I…,” Spencer began but his tongue felt thick in his mouth.  His brain was already mush from his world-shattering orgasm.  And Derek’s words weren’t helping to make the circuitry in his brain work any faster. 

 

“Don’t worry.  You don’t have to say anything.  I know you’re wrecked right now, baby,” Derek said with a laugh.  “Of course you would be.  You came so good just now.”

 

Spencer flushed.   

 

“But you made me come so good too,” Derek said with a wink.  “I like that you put on such a nice show for me, Spencer.  Maybe next time we can try the other one.”

 

Spencer’s face burned hotter.  The slender vibrator was one thing; Spencer had no confidence that he’d be able to conquer the all too realistic looking dildo.

 

“Let’s…revisit that at a later time,” Spencer said.  “I’m not sure my brain is capable of appropriately processing that at the moment.”

 

Derek laughed.

 

“Sure thing, baby. We’ll work you up to it,” he teased.

 

Spencer blushed and looked away.

 

“I’m gonna let you think about that a bit,” Derek said as he continued to laugh. “I’m sure you’ll have really fun dreams tonight.”

 

“Stop it,” Spencer whined.  “I actually _need_ to be able to go to sleep tonight.”

 

That only led to Derek laughing more.

 

“Well, you can try but there’s no guarantee,” Derek said.  “You do look like you’re half-ready to pass out though.”

 

Spencer looked at him guiltily. 

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry Derek but it’s been a long week and… uh….what we just did was kind of….physically draining,” he admitted. 

 

Derek laughed again.

 

“That’s a good thing, baby boy.  I did my job then.  I’ll leave you to have a good night then,” Derek said sweetly.

 

Spencer smiled.

 

“Good night, Derek,” he said.

 

“Sweet dreams, baby,” Derek said, giving him a wink before signing off.

 

Spencer sighed contentedly when the screen went black.  With his eyes closed, he let himself bask in the warm feelings that were flowing over him.  He was almost giddy with happiness. It felt as if nothing could ever go wrong.   

* * *

The following day at school, Spencer felt as if he was walking on air.  That concept had been foreign to Spencer before he began talking to Derek, and in his past he had called out quite a number of people on their use of excessive hyperbole.  But now Spencer knew what that was like.  He knew what it felt like to feel so light and airy with elation that it literally felt like his feet weren’t touching the ground. 

 

But the clouds were unceremoniously yanked out from under his feet when he checked his email during lunch and saw that he had received an unsettling message entitled ‘Missing Draft.’  Spencer stopped in mid-chew as he absorbed the words of the email:

 

 _Spencer_ ,

 

_It has been approximately 4 weeks since our last meeting to discuss your dissertation draft.  We had agreed that you would send me the latest copy by Monday of this week. However, it is now Friday and I have yet to receive the draft.  I know we just finished Midterms week, so I had thought maybe that was contributing to the delay, but at this point your draft is far more delinquent than I’d expect from you, Spencer. At this rate, I am not sure if your dissertation will be prepared in time for your scheduled defense date.  If you are free this afternoon I strongly suggest you find some time to drop by my office so we can discuss this in person._

 

_Sincerely,_

_Dr. Forrester_

 

Spencer blanched when he read the words.  He could feel his throat tightening up and his breathing kicking in to overdrive. 

 

He had forgotten about his draft. 

 

 _He_ , of all people, had forgotten.  And it wasn’t that he _forgot_ the date or forgot that he had had that conversation with his advisor agreeing upon the date.  No, Spencer had an eidetic memory.  As clear as day, he could see himself in his mind’s eye writing down the date and circling it in the corner of his notebook.  He remembered laughing with his professor about making the draft due on the first Monday of Midterms and saying how he was more looking forward to working on his dissertation than grading exams. 

 

It wasn’t that he couldn’t have accessed the information if he _wanted_ to.  It was merely that he had been so caught up in other things—and Spencer knew just what those _things_ were—that he had made no attempt to scour his brain for due dates or to double check his responsibilities.  No.  He had simply _neglected_ it.  He had barely touched his dissertation for weeks, and he hadn’t even realized it. 

 

The thought made Spencer’s stomach twist into tight knots.  He was embarrassed. And angry with himself.  And most of all he was ashamed that he had disappointed his advisor.  Spencer didn’t have any valid excuses he could give.  For the first time in his life, Spencer had put something above his academics.   And Spencer didn’t know how to feel about that.

 

With a heavy sigh, Spencer pushed his half-eaten lunch away and stood up from the computer desk.  There was no way he’d be able to make it through the rest of the day with the content of that email hanging over his head.  He had to go find Dr. Forrester. 

* * *

Less than twenty minutes later, Spencer found himself seated in front of his elderly academic advisor.  He had been working with Dr. Forrester for more than two years now.  He was a kind, quirky man, renowned in his field. Spencer had always found it very easy to get along with him and they had a good relationship.  But now he felt like a chastised child.

 

“Spencer, what seems to be going on with you lately?” Dr. Forrester asked, gray eyebrows drawing together in concern.

 

“I… um… Nothing is really going on with me,” Spencer muttered. “I just… I guess I’ve been really busy lately.”

 

“Busy I could understand.  It seems more like you’re _distracted_ ,” Dr. Forrester said. 

 

Spencer flushed.  He didn’t know what to say to that.  “Distracted” was right on the nose.  

 

“It’s not really like you Spencer.  You’ve always been so focused on your work.  To be honest, it was somewhat of a blessing.  Most other graduate students in the final stretch of their program go through this type of apathy.  It’s like pulling teeth to keep them on track.  But that has never been the case with you.  And it is even more important that you stay on track because of the timeline you have to keep to make sure you have completed all your degree requirements before you leave for the FBI Academy,” Dr. Forrester continued.

 

Spencer cringed.  That was definitely true. When he had told the department he had received an offer from the FBI and would be expected to start boot camp at the Academy in late May, he had had to get permission to defend his dissertation early. He would even be missing graduation.  But the faculty had been happy for him and had been more than willing to make the special accommodations necessary so that he could graduate early.  That had been _important_ to Spencer back in February when he had gotten his acceptance letter.  Since then, however, other things had… taken priority. 

 

“You have been acting a bit differently lately, Spencer.  It’s even come up in conversation among the faculty and students,” Dr. Forrester commented.

 

Spencer’s eyes widened and he gaped at him like a fish.  _What did THAT mean,_ Spencer wondered.

 

Dr. Forrestee laughed softly.

 

“Don’t be so worried. It’s actually something that’s somewhat of a good thing.  I would say your strange behavior would give me cause to worry if you seemed to be moody or down, but your mood has been the complete opposite.  You seem a bit more energetic and interested in what’s going on around you lately.  You even smile a lot more, Spencer,” Dr. Forrester explained.

 

Spencer blushed.

 

“I…I don’t think anything has changed that much with me, sir,” Spencer said.

 

Dr. Forrester gave him a disbelieving look but didn’t comment on it.

 

“I don’t know what has changed for you lately, but I’m happy to see you seem to be enjoying life more.  It has always been the case that when we get academically advanced students we want to make sure they’re getting the appropriate social development as well.  It is difficult to enter college so early and, ultimately, to move through graduate level work at the pace you did as well.  Often, much has to be sacrificed to make that possible.  So I’m glad that you seem to have found something that makes you happy,” Dr. Forrester said with a smile.

 

Spencer couldn’t even look him in the eye.  This was so _embarrassing_.  Was it really true that others could see such a change in him?  Changes that Spencer wasn’t even aware of.  Was it something on his face?  Was it the way he was walking?  Whatever it was, Spencer needed to figure it out so he could _stop_ doing it.

 

“Spencer,” Dr. Forrester said, dragging Spencer out of his musings.  “You have a little less than a month left before you graduate.  I don’t want to see you mess this up.  Whatever else is going on in your life right now, I want you to buckle down and focus on your work.  There will be lots of time for you to “pursue your extra-curriculars” once that is done.” 

 

Then Dr. Forrester winked at him.  He actually _winked_. And Spencer wondered if it was possible for the ground to actually open up and swallow him.

 

“So what say you get that draft to me by Monday morning?” Dr. Forrester asked.

 

“Yes, sir,” Spencer mumbled.

* * *

Following the meeting with his advisor Spencer had sulked for most of the day.  It wasn’t that he would actually have any problem finishing his dissertation.  Whereas some students struggled to meet their page limits, Spencer was the type of student to do an overly-ambitious research project with page numbers far exceeding the expectation.  Spencer had most of the research done and all of his data collected.  But that didn’t mean that it was anywhere near a finished project.   

 

In the past, Spencer would have easily been able to just buckle down and crunch out the work.  Admittedly, he sometimes got a little bogged down because he was forced to _type_ his papers—and while Spencer could read at blinding speeds, his typing speeds left much to be desired—but finishing papers had never really been difficult for him.  The only thing that was different now was that schoolwork was not the most entertaining thing he could find to do with his time. 

 

Now, all he wanted to do at the end of the day was see Derek.  And with the day he had had, that was the first thing he decided to do when he walked in the door.  Spencer knew it was probably a bit too early for Derek.  It was only 5:00 and Derek usually spoke to him around 8pm Spencer’s time.  More likely than not, Derek was still at work.  But Spencer knew that if Derek was available he would find the time.

 

Pulling out his phone as he curled himself up on the couch in a sad heap, Spencer typed a text as quickly as he could.

 

Spencer: _Hi Derek.  Are you free right now?_

 

Spencer flushed after sending it, wondering if maybe he was being a bit too needy.  He definitely _felt_ sorry for himself.  But he _really_ needed to hear Derek’s voice right now.  And when his phone buzzed in his hand less than a minute later, Spencer felt his heart do a somersault in his chest.

 

Derek: _I_ _’_ _m still at work, baby, but I can get away and talk if you need me.  Everything alright?_

 

A warm feeling flooded Spencer’s chest and he felt tears of relief sting his eyes.  Derek was such a _good_ guy.  Blinking rapidly, and calling himself silly for getting emotional, Spencer quickly responded.

 

Spencer: _I don_ _’_ _t want to bother you at work, Derek.  Are you sure it’s ok?_

 

Derek: _I_ _’_ _m already walking to one of our empty conference rooms, baby.  Don’t even worry about it ;). I’ll call you in a few._   

 

Spencer couldn’t deny how happy that made him feel, and he held on to the phone with a smile on his face until he felt it start to ring.  He picked up immediately.

 

“Hi Derek,” Spencer said.

 

“Hey, kid.  How’re you doing?” Derek asked. 

 

 “I’m alright…” Spencer said, already feeling self-conscious about having made Derek call him like this. 

 

Just hearing Derek’s voice already made Spencer feel as if the world was not as awful as it had seemed moments ago.  And now he wondered why he couldn’t have just handled this by himself.  Would Derek think he was whiny and weak for calling him about a _bad day at_ _school_?It was embarrassing. 

 

“You don’t _sound_ alright baby,” Derek said, the concern evident in his voice.  “What's going on?”   

 

“It wasn’t such a good day,” Spencer mumbled.

 

“Yeah?  Sounds like it.  You want to tell me what happened?” Derek asked. 

 

His deep voice was so soothing.  Spencer sighed and closed his eyes as he became more comfortable on the couch, curling up into a little ball on his side and tucking the phone against his ear.  He then proceeded to tell Derek about the email, and how embarrassed he felt, and how he was frustrated with himself for letting his advisor down, and how all of it made him feel so overwhelmed.  And by the time Spencer had finished he felt tears burning his eyes again, and wanted to kick himself.  But it had been somewhat cathartic to get it all off his chest.

 

“Baby, I’m so sorry to hear that happened to you.  That sounds really rough.  No wonder you’re having such a bad day,” Derek said.  “I wish I could be there right now to hold you and make you feel better.”

 

Spencer let out a watery-sounding chuckle.

 

“I wish you were here too,” Spencer admitted.

 

“Well…there are really only a few weeks left before you move here…” Derek said.

 

And then there was a silence between them.  Spencer felt himself blushing.  That was true.  In only a few short weeks, he would meet Derek.  And more than anything, it sounded like Derek still _wanted_ that.

 

“Spencer?” Derek asked, voice sounding hesitant.

 

“I’m really looking forward to that, Derek,” Spencer said quickly, forcing himself not to hesitate.  “To be honest, that is the only thing that is going to get me through the end of school.”

 

Derek laughed. 

 

“I’m not sure that should be the only thing motivating you, but I can’t say I’m not happy to hear that,” Derek said.

 

Spencer laughed in response. 

 

“But baby…I’m gonna say something now that you probably don’t want to hear,” Derek said after a pause.

 

Spencer’s brows furrowed and he felt a nervous feeling flood his stomach.

 

“I don’t want… Well, I would never want to think that _I_ was the reason that you aren’t doing well in school,” Derek started.

 

“You’re not, Derek!  I swear,” Spencer said.

 

“Baby, have you ever missed deadlines like this in the past?” Derek asked seriously.

 

Spencer flushed.

 

“Well…no…" Spencer admitted. 

 

“And is there anything new that’s happened in your life in the last few months?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer frowned.

 

“Derek, I know what you’re trying to say, but-” Spencer began before Derek cut him off.

 

“Spencer, whether you realize it or not, our relationship has probably changed a lot of things in your life.  This is really new.  And it’s difficult to know how to strike a proper balance.  And kid, you’ve worked so hard up until this point.  I don’t want you to have to choose between completing your degree on a high note and whether you give attention to me,” Derek explained.

 

Spencer already knew he didn’t like where this was heading.

 

“So, I think we should take a little break from talking like we've been doing until your dissertation is finished,” Derek finally said.

 

Spencer’s eyes widened.

 

“Derek, what are you saying??” Spencer asked. 

 

It felt like something was suddenly lodged in his throat.  

 

“Wait, wait, calm down,” Derek said, seemingly picking up on Spencer’s distress.  “I’m not saying we’re not going to talk ever again.  I just want you to focus fully on your dissertation so you can finish it.  I don’t want to be a distraction.  I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I knew that I was upsetting your work.” 

 

Spencer felt himself pouting.  He knew Derek made a lot of sense, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

 

“Are you mad at me?” Derek asked after Spencer hadn't responded for a few seconds, and it sounded like he was slightly amused.

 

“Well I’m not _happy_ about it, if that isn’t obvious, Derek,” Spencer complained.

 

“Baby, it’s for the best.  And, besides, knowing that we won’t be able to play again until you finish your dissertation might make you finish it faster, don’t you think?” Derek asked.

 

And even though they were talking on the phone and Spencer couldn’t _see_ Derek, Spencer could hear in his voice that Derek was smirking.

 

“So…we have to stop _all_ communication?” Spencer asked, already hating the idea of it.

 

“Well… In all honesty, I think that may be a little difficult.  I mean, it won’t be easy for me either, baby.  I’ll miss talking to you like crazy.  So let’s say we can still text to say hi, and of course if there’s an emergency, like right now, and you want to talk I’m definitely going to answer.  But I do think it’s best if we don’t video chat for a while,” Derek said.

 

Spencer let out an audible whine and Derek laughed.

 

“Ok…” Spencer said reluctantly.  “I guess that’s alright…”

 

“I’m not gonna lie, I think it’s insanely adorable that you’re going to miss video-chatting with me so badly, baby,” Derek said.  “Good to know I have that effect on you.”

 

Spencer laughed.     

 

“I’m sure you didn’t need that for you to know you have that effect on me,” Spencer said as he blushed. 

 

Derek laughed before settling down, voice taking on a more sober tone.   

 

“So how’re you feeling about this, kid?  You think you’ll be ok?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer sighed.

 

“It’ll be hard, but I think it’ll be for the best.  It’s just a few weeks,” Spencer said.

 

“Don’t worry, I'll make sure to make up for the missed time the next time we see each other,” Derek said, unspoken promises heavy in his voice.

 

Spencer trembled. 

 

He was going to finish that dissertation as _soon_ as he could. 

* * *

A/N: So that’s it from me for now! A wee bit rushed, but at least we have a chapter!  Unless a strike of inspiration hits me that sends me down a different path (stranger things have happened), next chapter should start from Derek’s POV (finally!).  And I’m thinking there may only be another 2 or 3 chapters for this fic!  I’ll try my best to find some more time to write!  Please let me know your thoughts on the chapter in the meantime :) xoxo


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Hi everyone.  As usual, my sincerest apologies for the extended delay.  I have been quite bogged down with school and life and, needless to say, the most recent developments in the overall _state_ of things in America has been pretty demoralizing as well :/.  So I haven’t had that much time/motivation to write.  Generally speaking, I need to take a break from writing, but I also didn’t want to leave this story hanging, so I’ve decided to finish up the fic here (but you also get an epilogue at the same time!  A twofer!).  I hope you enjoy it!  xoxo

* * *

As Derek placed his coffee mug down on the roundtable, awaiting the beginning of the weekly Monday morning briefing with his colleagues, he found himself lost in his thoughts. He could hear the conversations going on around him, his coworkers asking each other how their weekends had gone, but it was like a faint buzz in his ears; practically background noise to him.  Derek couldn’t stop his thoughts from running to the current object of his affections.

 

They had agreed—albeit somewhat reluctantly—to not speak again until Spencer’s dissertation draft was complete.  It was hard for Derek, but he knew it was for the best.  He would hate to think that Spencer—a fiercely dedicated student—was putting his academic career in jeopardy just because he was whiling his time away talking to Derek.  Derek would never forgive himself for that.  He never wanted to be a bad influence.  So he had had to put Spencer on a _time out_.  Just the thought of that caused a hot streak of desire to roll through Derek’s gut. 

 

There were many things Derek had imagined trying with Spencer. _Doing_ to Spencer. And the idea of being completely in control of Spencer’s pleasure was something that appealed to Derek on a primal level. The boy was so sensitive Derek knew he would have a hard time resisting.  Denying Spencer anything would be hard, but Derek could already imagine how hot it would be to have the boy whining, and begging, and pleading with Derek to let him come. 

 

It had really been _too_ long since he had last gotten a chance to see Spencer flushed with arousal, head tilted back in ecstasy, exposing that pretty, pale throat of his.  Lips parted in silent cries that then turned into needy moans.  Derek had his imagination.  But that was hardly enough.  He knew he was doing the right thing by forcing Spencer and himself to take a break, but damn was it tough.  Derek wondered if this was something he could be granted sainthood for…

 

“What’s been going on with you lately, Morgan?” one of his coworkers asked, breaking into his thoughts.

 

Derek looked up, only to be faced with the intrigued-looking brown eyes of Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss, and forced himself not to look away.  He was embarrassed that he had been caught when his mind had been straying to decidedly sordid thoughts, but he knew that Emily would have even more reason to be suspicious of him if he _looked_ suspicious. 

 

“What do you mean?” Derek asked, nonchalantly. 

 

He was immediately on guard.  He worked with profilers.  And that meant that if one of his colleagues asked him a question, it was usually loaded.  It likely meant that they had been thinking of something that had meaning far deeper than what one would expect on the surface.  But Derek couldn’t fault them; he operated that way as well. 

 

“Well, you’ve been kind of… subdued lately?” Emily said, as if she wasn’t quite sure that was the word she wanted to go with.  “You used to be all “hot honeys” this and “fine young thangs” that every time you came in on a Monday following some rowdy weekend.   Now, I feel like I haven’t heard you say anything like that in… _weeks_.”

 

Derek rolled his eyes and tried not to show how much the appraisal rattled him.  Damn these profilers. 

 

“Well, what if I’ve just been having a dry spell?” he asked, with a disinterested shrug. “I mean, stranger things _have_ happened.” 

 

Emily laughed.

 

“Um, _no_.  I think that means the exact opposite.  If Derek Morgan isn’t out on the prowl, it’s usually because he’s found someone and doesn’t _need_ to prowl.  That he’s been taken off the market, so to speak,” Emily said pointedly. 

 

“Trust me when I say that that’s most definitely _no_ t the case,” Derek said, giving her his best ladykiller-like look. “Derek Morgan is definitely not off the market.”

 

Then Garcia let out an audible scoff of disbelief, and Derek turned to look at the bespectacled blonde sitting to his right, shooting her an annoyed glare.  She cringed, as if recognizing her role in making the situation worse for Derek.  But it was too late; Emily’s interest had already been caught. 

 

“Ohhh, so I see.  Garcia here knows what’s up.  Why am I not surprised?” Emily laughed.  “Baby Girl is always the first one to get filled in on the details, isn’t she?  So who’s the lucky lady?”

 

“Wait, what?” JJ asked, breaking in to the conversation.  The blonde agent looked between the three of them eyebrow raised, and a look of amusement on her face. 

 

“ _Nothing_ ,” Derek said, while at the same time Emily said, “ _Gossip_.”

 

Derek groaned.

 

“What do you know Garcia?” Emily asked as she pulled out a seat for JJ who had slid closer.

 

“Hello?  Am I not here?” Derek asked, frowning.

 

“Well, what’s the point of acknowledging you if you’re just going to lie to us anyway?” Emily asked with a laugh.

 

“I don’t know anything, I swear,” Garcia said, raising her hands in defense.  “I just know Derek has been particularly shifty as of late when I’ve been asking about his love life and _I’ve_ convinced myself he’s got some secret girlfriend that he’s just not telling me about.”

 

“Baby Girl,” Derek said, groaning. 

 

“Well!  What do you expect?  You dodge my questions left and right.  And you _know_ how I get when you keep things from me,” Garcia said, pouting. 

 

“I’m not keeping anything from you,” Derek complained.

 

“Yeah, right,” Garcia said as she turned her attention back to JJ and Emily. “Derek is _constantly_ looking at his phone and grinning like a lovesick idiot.  Plus!  We went out a few weeks ago and Derek was _surrounded_ by nubile young 20-somethings who were trying to get in his pants and he actually said no.  Like, what world are we in?” 

 

“You guys make me sound like I’ve only got one thing on my mind,” Derek said.  


The three women each gave him an unimpressed look before turning back to each other. 

 

“So, who do you think it is?  Is it someone we know, and that’s why he’s hiding it?” Emily asked.

 

“Or maybe it’s someone he’s _really_ fallen for and now he’s afraid of owning up to it because ‘Derek Morgan doesn’t do serious,’” JJ said, faking a deeper voice as she mimicked Derek. 

 

“When have I _ever_ said that?” Derek asked.

  
“The last time we went out for drinks after work at O’Doul’s,” Emily offered.

 

“When we were on that flight to Sante Fe last spring,” JJ chimed in.

 

“When we were drunk and talking about failed relationships on Valentine’s Day,” Garcia added with a shrug.

 

Derek rolled his eyes and looked away.  He couldn’t really argue with _that_.  It was true that usually he was just looking for some fun.  That had honestly been the case when he had signed on to the dating site and had stumbled across Spencer.  He hadn’t been looking for someone he would rush home to at the end of the day.  He had just wanted someone to pass the time with.  Something that was easy.  _Uncomplicated_.  To his surprise, everything he had begun to develop with Spencer was the complete opposite.

 

“So… I’m going to take that stormy silence to mean we’ve hit the nail on the head.  So, tell us: who’s the mystery lover?” Emily asked with a grin.

 

Derek was going to make another failed attempt to defend himself when the sound of someone clearing their throat caused everyone to look toward the front of the room, where their eyes landed on the stern figure of their unit chief, Aaron Hotchner, standing there in a dark suit.  SSA David Rossi was standing next to him, an amused look on his face as he watched the guilty-looking agents.   

   

“If we’re all done grilling Morgan on his love life, can we move on to the action items for today’s meeting?” Hotch asked as he gave the group an unimpressed look.

 

Emily and Garcia sheepishly looked away, while JJ pretended to leaf through the papers on the desk in front of her.  All Derek could do was cringe. 

 

Everyone settled down, putting on appropriately serious faces as their unit chief began to detail their most recent case.  Derek tried his best to pay attention, nodding along and asking questions about the unknown subject’s kill pattern.  But he soon found his thoughts straying back to the insightful observations of his colleagues.

 

He really _was_ acting differently.  It should have come as no surprise that the people he spent the majority of his day with would notice that.  Since meeting Spencer, Derek _felt_ different.  

Derek realized with startling clarity that he hadn’t hooked up with another person for… _months_.  It hadn’t been a conscious decision; he hadn’t pledged to swear off all other interested parties just because he was having some fun on the internet.  He simply hadn’t been _interested_.  For some reason, Spencer had just been enough _._ Derek hadn’t felt an urge to go looking for something else to make up for something that was missing.  He enjoyed the time he spent talking to Spencer about his day, or being bombarded with the trivial facts the kid so loved to spout off.  .  And he enjoyed the time he spent doing _naughty_ things with Spencer, too. 

It had been so exciting to explore sex with Spencer.  It was rare to come across someone so innocent and curious about it.  It was amazing to be able to watch the awe that passed over Spencer’s face as he allowed himself to give in to his pleasure unabashedly.  And Spencer was too inexperienced to play coy or hard to get.  He was just _honest_ , and it was refreshing.  No games, no tricks.  That freedom was so sexy Derek could hardly stand it.  Spencer had him feeling like he was a teenager again, getting worked up just by the sounds of someone else moaning. 

 

But Derek hadn’t physically touched another warm body in months, and he hadn’t even noticed it.  Now _that_ was shocking.  To have been so consumed—and, apparently so fulfilled—by another person that he didn’t even realize he was _missing_ it was something Derek could hardly comprehend.  Derek liked sex. He liked it a _lot_.  It had been a pretty regular part of his life for a good 15 years.  He had never had a “dry spell,” self-imposed or otherwise.  He figured he would probably notice it; crave it.  But what he had with Spencer was the first time Derek had been able to overlook the physical in exchange for something that seemed to be more emotional.

 

But, of course, part of that was because Derek had no _choice:_ Spencer was about as far away as he could possibly be from Derek and still be in the continental U.S.  Derek could lie to himself and say that it was something about the long distance relationship that made him focus more on his emotional connection to the bashful brunette.  But Derek had _been_ in long distance arrangements before.  He specifically had _stopped_ letting himself get involved in them because he had found himself running into the issue of having a wandering eye only a few short months into the relationship and feeling frustrated by his circumstances. 

 

In those other instances, the fact that his eye was wandering had been evidence to him that the person he was seeing had stopped feeling “worth it.”  Why put the effort into trying to maintain something monogamous with someone you only saw every couple of weeks?   He knew that there were many people who _could_ do it; people who found the other aspects of the relationship important enough to make the sacrifices for.  But Derek had never felt that way.  And so he told himself he must just not _want_ relationships.   

 

But now…?  Now Derek felt like he was at the point where he very likely _wanted_ a relationship with Spencer.  Like he could see himself making Spencer his _boyfriend_.

 

Derek paused as he thought about that. 

 

It was practically like Spencer already _was_ his “boyfriend.”  Derek couldn’t remember ever being so invested in someone as he was when it came to Spencer.  And, like his coworkers often liked to tease him, Derek was very much the lone wolf type when it came to dating.  He was all here for fun, but when things started to get too serious they also started to get _difficult_.  And Derek didn’t like “difficult.”

 

But while things with Spencer had been bumpy in their own ways (case in point: Derek would never have thought he’d come across someone so innocent they didn’t realize they were on a _dating_ site, even after getting a slew of lewd propositions), Derek had enjoyed every minute of it.  It never felt like work.  “Being” with Spencer wasn’t a strain. 

 

But the issue was that, even if Derek realized his mind had already practically staked its claims on Spencer, he still had his reservations about suggesting that they should explore whether what they had between them could go any further.  While it had initially been about just having a good time, Derek realized that things had changed to something “more” quite quickly.  Derek was still concerned that Spencer was just doing this as some type of personal experiment.  That he was trying to “find himself.”  And that was alright. Derek could understand that it was all a lot for Spencer to process.  They hadn’t talked about it in exact terms, but there were some things that had been very clear to Derek from very early on: Spencer had never had sex before, Spencer had never even _dated_ before, and Spencer didn’t seem to be quite certain where he stood on his own sexual identity. 

 

Those were all somewhat problematic.  But Derek had been doing this long enough to be pretty confident that the looks he was getting from Spencer were ones of genuine affection and adoration.  That when Spencer said his name there was much more behind it than just lust or excitement. 

 

But Derek wanted to do this right.  He didn’t want Spencer to think he was only in this for the sex.  He wanted to take Spencer out for dessert and coffee, and hold his hand as they strolled through bookstores, and listen to him excitedly talk about some obscure topic over dinner.

 

With all that said, Spencer’s dissertation draft was due today at 5.  And as soon as that happened, the “no video chat” ban would be lifted.  Derek was already thinking of ways they could celebrate.  Maybe he still had time to send Spencer a gift or something to congratulate him.  He’d use rush delivery to send Spencer a treat.  Maybe chocolates or cookies; he knew how much the kid loved sweets.  Maybe even a bottle of wine.  He could just imagine the look on the kid’s face.  But, really, he just wanted to _see_ Spencer’s face.  The wait had felt brutally long.  And it had only been two weeks. 

 

It would be an understatement to say that Derek couldn’t wait to see his Pretty Boy again.  So much so that the meeting he was sitting in at the moment—which usually flew by—felt like he was doing time in prison.  But Derek knew that, as soon as it was over, he could get on with his day.  And that every hour that passed meant it was closer to the day being over; closer to coming home and seeing the sight of Spencer’s gorgeous, smiling face. 

 

“Ok, we’re heading to Minneapolis,” Hotch said, cutting in to Derek’s thoughts.  “Wheels up in 30.”

 

_Shit_ , Derek thought.  There went all his plans. 

* * *

Ten hours later found Derek elbow deep in the personal effects of one of the unsub’s most recent victims.  He and JJ had been tasked with trying to understand the victim’s life leading up to her murder, while Rossi and Prentiss were over at the Medical Examiner’s and Hotch was holding the fort down back at the station.  It had been a busy day and they had hit the ground running when they landed about six hours ago, trying to get abreast of the case.  When Hotch had split them up was the first time Derek had had a moment to think.  As he looked down at one of the girl’s pictures that he pulled down from a board above her desk—a picture of her smiling, surrounded by three of her friends—he thought that she looked like she was probably friendly and well-liked.  Seeing her smiling made him think of Spencer.

 

And, as if on cue, his phone started buzzing. He pulled it out and looked down to see Spencer’s number show up.  Derek’s heart leapt in his chest.  He glanced around him.  He was alone in the victim’s bedroom while JJ was in the living room or kitchen. He knew he really shouldn’t take a personal call while at work—especially while working a _case_ —but it was almost impossible to ask him to ignore a call from Spencer.  Besides, the call had made him realize that it was already past 5.  That meant that Spencer had just handed his dissertation in.  Derek felt pride well in his chest at the thought.     

 

“Hey, baby,” Derek said as he answered the phone.

 

He didn’t miss the little laugh Spencer let out and he could already imagine the boy blushing as he smiled.

 

“Hi, Derek,” Spencer said, almost in a singsong voice.

 

“You got good news for me, I’m guessing?” Derek asked. 

 

“Yes!  I’m done!  Finally!! It was like torture. But it’s over,” Spencer said dramatically.

 

Derek laughed as he began to walk around the small bedroom.  He peeked out into the hallway to make sure JJ wasn’t nearby.

 

“That’s great to hear, babe.  I’m so proud of you,” Derek said.  “I had wanted to be the one to call you first, but I got really caught up.  I’m at work right now. It’s been a tough day.” 

 

“Oh,” Spencer said, sounding disappointed.  “That’s totally fine.  And I didn’t mean to bother you at work.  I just wanted to hear your voice.”

 

Derek frowned.  Spencer still seemed so shy.  Like he was used to apologizing just for existing. 

 

“Trust me, Pretty Boy, you’re never a bother.  I wouldn’t have answered if I didn’t want to talk,” Derek said.  

 

“Morgan!” JJ shouted from the living room.  “I think I found something!”

 

Derek sighed.

 

“Duty calls,” Derek said, regretfully. “I’m gonna have to go.  But I’ll call you later tonight. I promise.”

 

“Ok, Derek,” Spencer said.

 

“And Spencer?” Derek asked.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Congrats again. I’m so proud of you, baby,” Derek said. 

 

Spencer gave another one of his breathy laughs, and Derek was sure the smile had returned to his face.

 

“Thanks, Derek,” Spencer said.  “I’ll wait for your call.”

 

Derek smiled before hanging up the phone. When he looked up, JJ was standing in the doorway giving him an odd look.

 

Derek felt his face heating up and gaped at her.  He was sure he looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  He sure as hell _felt_ like one.   

 

Apparently taking pity on him, JJ raised her hands and shook her head as she smiled.

 

“I’m not going to ask any questions. And I promise I’m going to keep what I just heard to myself. I’m just happy to know that our skills of deduction haven’t gone rusty,” JJ said with a wink. 

 

Derek rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t deny that he was grateful she didn’t intend to pursue this conversation any further. 

 

“Come on, Jareau.  Show me what you found,” he said as he walked past her. 

 

He pretended that he didn’t hear her chuckling as she followed him out of the room.

* * *

It was almost 11 when Derek pushed the door open to his hotel room.  He was dead tired, and could have definitely used a hot shower and a nice long rest, but his mind didn’t linger on those thoughts for long.  As soon as the door was locked behind him, he pulled off his blazer and kicked off his shoes before hopping into the bed and pulling out his phone. 

 

He quickly texted Spencer.

 

_Derek_ : Hey babe, just got in.  You still up to talk?

 

When he got a response back only two minutes later Derek’s face split into a wide grin. 

 

_Spencer_ : Of course! 

 

Laughing, Derek dialed Spencer.  He wasn’t surprised that the phone barely rung for a full second before Spencer answer.

 

“Hey!” Derek said.

 

“Oh!  So you called…?  You aren’t going to…?  Well, I mean, my paper’s handed in, so isn’t the “ban” lifted now?” Spencer asked.

 

Derek’s eyebrow rose in confusion at the mishmash of seemingly unrelated sentences Spencer had just strung together, until it dawned on him what Spencer meant.  He meant the _video chat_ ban.  As in, Spencer was looking forward to some face-time.  Derek couldn’t help but to chuckle at that.  _His_ mind immediately went to a dirty place, thinking that Spencer was as pent up as he was and wanted some _naked_ face-time.  But he doubted that was what was on the boy’s mind.  Spencer was never the one to initiate things, let alone own up to _wanting_.  Derek was sure it was more that Spencer just wanted to see his face.  But there was no harm in asking.  It’d be fun to hear Spencer sputter and deny it in his embarrassment.

 

“Oh, so you want to ‘see’ me, huh?”  Derek asked, voice suggestive.

 

“Well…I’ve been looking forward to it,” Spencer mumbled.  “Isn’t that what the whole point of this was?  Why we made that agreement?”

 

Derek couldn’t see Spencer’s face, and now that’s all he wanted to do.  It sounded like Spencer really _missed_ him. 

 

But Derek was away on a case.  He didn’t have his computer or anything.  He hadn’t been able to plan for the possibility of a video chat when he grabbed his go-bag and boarded the jet this morning.  Besides, Derek knew that if he saw Spencer he would be… tempted.  And he didn’t think it was right to be doing what they usually got up to when video-chatting while he was on a case.  He frowned and shook his head.  He had promised himself he’d try to move their relationship away from the sexual anyway.  So this was as good a start as any. 

 

“Yeah, baby, I know.  But I got sent out of state for this case I’m working on today.  I’m in a hotel right now and I don’t have my computer with me,” Derek explained. 

 

“Oh… I… Ok, then,” Spencer said. 

 

And this time there was no way Derek could miss the disappointment in his voice. 

 

Derek sighed, disappointed as well.  He didn’t know having Spencer unhappy would make _him_ so unhappy.  He now wished he really was back home in D.C.  All he had wanted to do today was see Spencer’s face, and because of his job—a job he really loved, and usually wouldn’t think twice about flying halfway across the country for—he was being prevented from doing that.  Then he had an idea.

 

“Kid, give me a minute, ok?  I just need… Let me just download something on my phone.  And go on your computer.  I’ll call you back,” Derek said hurriedly. 

 

Spencer let out a confused sound, but Derek was already disconnecting the call.  He was sure Spencer would have a couple of choice words for him once he called back.  But right now, all Derek could think about was downloading the app to their videochat program.  It wouldn’t be as efficient as doing it on a computer—namely, the image would be regrettably _small_ —but at least he would be able to see Spencer. 

 

In a matter of minutes, Derek had downloaded the app and logged in to his account.  He was pleased to see the green indicator next to Spencer’s name in his chat list, signaling that Spencer had logged on to his computer like Derek had asked.  At this point, Spencer’s computer was set to automatically log in to the chat program as soon as his computer booted up.  They had fallen into such a routine that there wasn’t even any reason in pretending that they wouldn’t video chat on nights when they had the time. 

 

Derek quickly tapped on Spencer’s icon, and soon Spencer’s curious face was filling the screen of his cellphone.

 

“Derek?” Spencer said, brows furrowing adorably.  “I thought you said you didn’t have your computer?”

 

“I don’t, babe,” Derek said, laughing.  “I’m talking to you from my phone.  It’s not ideal, but at least I get to see your gorgeous face.”

 

Spencer blushed.

 

“I…I’m really happy I can see you, Derek,” Spencer said.

 

Derek smiled.

 

“Me too, Pretty Boy,” he said. 

 

He could tell Spencer was in his bed.  He could see the familiar headboard behind him.  And Spencer looked like he had just recently finished a shower, face flushed and hair looking a bit damp.

 

“Mmm, baby, looks like you just got out the shower.  Did I just miss my chance to see that sexy little body of yours all dripping wet,” Derek teased.

 

He had expected Spencer to blush and become embarrassed.  And while Spencer did get red, Derek wasn’t expecting the half-lidded expression that came over the boy’s face.  Like just the sound of Derek’s voice had gotten him turned on.

 

“You’ve _really_ missed me, haven’t you?” Derek said, a rough edge coming over his voice.

 

He couldn’t believe how quickly Spencer could get him hot.  His cock was already stirring in his slacks and he had to fight to resist the urge to palm himself through the material.

 

“It’s been a _long_ time,” Spencer admitted, voice soft as he looked away.

 

Derek’s eyebrow rose inquisitively.

 

“Are you telling me…?  Baby, have you not…“indulged” since the last time we talked?” Derek asked, incredulous. 

 

Spencer blushed, still refusing to meet Derek’s eyes.

 

“I mean… I’ve _tried_.  But it’s just not the same without you!  I don’t… I can’t… It’s not as good,” Spencer complained.

   

If Derek thought he was going to have this conversation with Spencer and _not_ have it turn sexual, then he was kidding himself.  He prided himself on being strong-willed and resilient, but right now he was a _weak_ man.  All thoughts of remembering where he was, and promising to focus on more than just the physical with Spencer, went out the window. 

 

“Oh, Baby…you needed my help to get you off?” Derek asked as he scooted up the bed and made himself more comfortable.  He held the phone in one hand while he made quick work of his belt buckle with the other.

 

Spencer was silent, but the guilty expression on his face was all the answer Derek needed.

 

“Sorry I left you waiting so long then,” Derek said.  “But don’t worry. I’m here now.  And I’m going to help you feel so good.  You like the sound of that, Spencer?”

 

Spencer nodded, eyes heavy and mouth slightly parted.

 

“Go get the supplies, Spencer,” Derek said quietly as he shoved his hand down the front of his pants and gave his cock a squeeze.  

 

Spencer hesitated and looked at him as he bit his lip.

 

“What supplies?” he asked, carefully.

 

Derek chuckled.

 

“You know what I’m talking about, Spencer.  You know what you need,” Derek said. 

 

Spencer flushed again, but didn’t protest.

 

“Um… hold on a sec,” Spencer said as he made to get up from his position on the bed.

 

“And, Spencer,” Derek said, stopping him mid-rise. “Make sure to bring _everything_.”

 

Derek saw Spencer literally tremble before the boy scrambled off the bed and disappeared out of sight.  Derek could hear Spencer rummaging around off screen, and without having the distracting boy turning his otherwise logical mind to mush, Derek was reminded that he had just initiated a lurid phone call with his lover while sharing a hotel with his coworkers.  They were mere _feet_ away from his room.  Derek was just thanking the Powers That Be that the town they were in was big enough that they had a hotel that could accommodate the agents while letting them each have their own room.  But that didn’t change the fact that _Rossi’s_ room was right next door to Derek’s.  And Prentiss was right across the hall.  Hotch and JJ were a bit further down the hallway, but still too close for comfort. 

 

And Derek didn’t have headphones.  He highly doubted anyone would be coming to his room—it was after 11pm after all—but there was always the _possibility._ It felt risky to be doing what he was about to do, but something about that risk was also really turning Derek on.

 

Derek didn’t have much time to explore that thought, because Spencer had just climbed back on to the bed and he was in far less clothing than when he had left it.  And he had a cardboard box in his hands, which he placed gingerly on the mattress before smiling shyly at Derek.  

 

“Look at _you_ ,” Derek breathed, as his eyes raked down the naked expanse of Spencer’s chest.  “Already stripped down to just your underwear, huh?  And I can see how excited you are, Spencer.” 

 

Spencer moved to cover the obvious tenting in his briefs, but Derek made a “tsking” sound and Spencer halted his hand. 

 

“You know you don’t have to hide that from me.  I love to see you like that, Spencer.  It tells me how much you like what we’re doing.  Don’t be shy, baby.  I know how bold you can be.  So I want you to show me what’s in that box,” Derek instructed.

 

Spencer nodded and then upturned the box.  Derek watch as the bottle of lube, the small vibrator, and the fleshy dildo tumbled out.  He grinned.   

 

 “You sure you haven’t been practicing without me?” Derek asked waggling his eyebrows.  “I’m not quite sure I can really believe that.”

 

Spencer bit his lip and shook his head.

 

“No, I’m telling the truth,” Spencer said softly.  “It’s only good when you’re watching…”

 

Derek groaned, squeezing the base of his cock, feeling like he could come at any second.  Spencer was more arousing than any porn star, and he didn’t even know it. 

 

“Then let me watch,” Derek growled. 

 

Spencer nodded.  And then he was slipping off his underwear in one smooth motion.  Derek watched as Spencer situated himself, grabbing the bottle of lube and spreading a generous amount on his fingers.  He brought them down between his legs and Derek couldn’t help releasing an audible hiss of “ _yesss_.”

 

Spencer laughed self-consciously.

 

“I can’t believe I’m really doing this.  That I _like_ doing this.  With you watching me,” he said, almost in awe. 

 

“Don’t think about that,” Derek said.  “The only thing that matters is that you feel good. And that everyone who’s involved feels good about it.  And trust me, baby, watching you like this is the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

 

Spencer let out a soft sound.  Derek wasn’t sure if it was a moan or a sigh.  It was some breathy, contented, sound in between.  But it seemed like Derek’s words had relaxed Spencer.  Lifted some sort of restriction he was putting on himself.  And just like that, Spencer’s shoulders fell back against the pillows, and he spread his legs, creamy thighs parting prettily to show Derek what he was doing between them. 

 

Derek watched as Spencer slowly teased himself, spreading the slick lubricant before he slowly pressed his finger inside.  He watched in awe as Spencer’s eyes slid closed and his face melted into a look of sheer pleasure. 

 

 “Feel good baby?” Derek asked.

 

“Mmm hmm,” Spencer moaned, hips jerking up to meet the thrusts of his finger. 

 

“Tell me what you’re thinking right now,” Derek said as he began to stroke himself in time with Spencer’s motions. 

 

Spencer groaned, slipping two fingers into himself.  His body shook, like he was overcome with pleasure.  Derek watched as Spencer’s free hand moved down to stroke at his neglected cock.  The boy let out a needy whimper.     

 

“Th-that you’re… _ngh_ … You’re the one…” Spencer babbled. 

 

“Yeah?  What?  I’m the one what, Spencer?” Derek asked. 

 

“Mm… that it’s your… your fingers inside me.  Making me feel good,” Spencer moaned. 

 

“Yeah, it is me.  I’m the one touching you like that.  But you need more, right?  You won’t be able to come just like that, right?” Derek asked, voice strained.

 

Spencer shook his head.

 

“What do you need?” Derek prompted.

 

Without answering, Spencer pulled his slick fingers from himself and reached for the small silver vibrator.  He pushed it into himself and let out a gasp.

 

“Oh, that’s so _good_ , baby,” Derek praised.  “Look how good you’re taking it in your greedy little hole.  You really needed this, didn’t you?”

 

Derek could see how much Spencer was flushing, and he was sure it wasn’t all just from the pleasure that was wracking his body.  This was probably the dirtiest Derek had ever talked to him.  But Spencer seemed so lost to his pleasure.  And it looked like hearing Derek talk was making him even hotter, if the increase in the rate at which he was stroking his leaking cock was any indicator.  But Derek didn’t want him to come _too_ soon.

 

“Slow down, baby,” Derek cooed.  “We want this to last, don’t we?” 

 

Nodding, Spencer relaxed at Derek’s words, slowing down his pace and slowly easing the toy in and out of his body.  Derek watched as he bit his lip and curled his toes on the bed.  His boy was clearly feeling _good_.

 

“That looks so nice, Spencer,” Derek said.  “How does it feel?”

 

Spencer let out a moan.

 

“ _Good_ ,” he gasped. 

 

“Yeah?  You like being filled like that?” Derek asked. 

 

Spencer didn’t answer, but his hips bucked and he pushed the toy deeper, letting out a whine.

 

Derek’s mouth had gone dry, watching how brazen Spencer had become as he fucked himself.  And he wanted to see more.  He wanted to watch Spencer come apart at the seams. 

 

 “You look like that’s not enough for you though, baby.  Like you want more, but you just can’t scratch your itch.  How about you try the other one?” Derek suggested.

 

Spencer’s hands stilled as his eyes slowly slid open, looking at Derek dazedly.

 

“Huh?” he asked, voice thick.

 

“I want you to try the dildo, Spencer,” Derek said. “You look like you need more to fill you up.”

 

Spencer blushed as he looked down at the toy in question.   

 

“That… that one’s too big,” Spencer whimpered. “There’s no way… Derek, I’d never be able to get that inside.”

 

Derek’s cock jumped at the thought.  Spencer _could_ do it; he just didn’t know he could.  But Derek knew with some coaching Spencer would be able to take it like a pro. And Derek could just imagine himself doing the “coaching.”  Telling Spencer what to do.  Watching as Spencer fingered himself, until he was soft and pliant inside, working his way up from two fingers to three or even four.  Getting himself nice and stretched out, so that by that point he’d be _begging_ for something bigger; something more.  And Derek would watch as Spencer slid the thick toy into himself, all the while the both of them pretending it was _Derek’s_ cock that was filling him so good. 

 

But Derek could see that Spencer was apprehensive.  And he suddenly realized that he didn’t want Spencer to be scared.  That he’d rather be holding Spencer through that.  Touching him, stroking him, whispering into his ear how well he was doing as he opened himself up.  He didn’t want to do that with screens between them.  No, it was better to save that for when they were in person.  And just the thought of that had Derek’s cock twitching in his hand.  He had a better idea for what he wanted to see Spencer do with that toy right now.     

 

“Can you do me a favor then, baby?” Derek asked.

 

Spencer nodded, as his fingers resumed their slow pumping of the small silver toy in and out of his hole. 

 

“Can you just kiss that one then?  And lick it?  I want to see that hot little mouth of yours wrapped around a cock,” Derek breathed.

 

Spencer blushed. 

 

“What?” he asked, hand stilling.

 

Derek couldn’t help how his eyes focused in on the sight of the toy buried deep inside of Spencer, his hole stretched taut around it.  Spencer closed his thighs, blocking Derek’s view.

 

Derek looked back up at Spencer, giving the boy a wicked grin.  Spencer returned it with a reproachful look.

 

“You want me to do _what_?” he repeated.

 

Derek laughed.

 

“Don’t play innocent, baby.  I know you’ve watched porn.  You know what sucking cock is.  I think you’d look so, so pretty with your lips wrapped around a cock.  Imagining it’s mine.  Making pretty little noises as you tried to take it all down,” Derek said.

 

Spencer’s eyes widened and he just stared at Derek, as if his brain was having trouble processing it.  Derek wondered for a moment if maybe he had gone too far.  But then Spencer glanced back down at the toy and Derek could see him give his cock a stroke.  His cock that was still very much hard.  He was _turned on_ by what Derek had said _._   Derek smirked. 

 

“Come on, baby.  Give it a try.  I know you’ll like it.  Come on, grab that cock and scooch up to the screen so I can see your pretty face better,” Derek coached. 

 

Derek instructed Spencer to lie down on his back in front of the computer screen so that he was looking up into the camera from below.  Derek swallowed thickly as he took in the sight of Spencer’s smooth, creamy skin, flushed, cheeks, and long, slender neck.  From here, he could see how pink Spencer’s lips were and watched hungrily as Spencer’s tongue darted out and wet them.  And from this vantage point he could see so much of Spencer’s body in such a different light than before.  He could see the tips of Spencer’s pink nipples, hardened into stiff peaks, rising and falling every time he took a breath.  And the proud arch of Spencer’s hard cock as it bobbed above his belly.  

 

Spencer was looking up at him, hair fanned out on the bed beneath him, and brows furrowed.  He looked uncertain.   

 

“I must look really weird like this, Derek,” he said, frowning. “It’s embarrassing.” 

 

“You look gorgeous like this, Spencer,” Derek said.  “Just seeing you up close like this reminds me how badly I want to be able to touch you in real life.”

 

Spencer blushed and looked away.  But Derek could see the little smile threatening to turn up the corner of his lips.  He was pleased. 

 

“What… what do you want me to do?” Spencer asked as he raised the veiny, flesh-colored toy. 

 

“Kiss it,” Derek instructed.  “And don’t stop fucking yourself, Spencer.  I want you to come while you’re doing this.” 

 

Spencer blushed, but closed his eyes and brought the toy to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss to the tip.  Derek couldn’t describe how hot that was.  It sent a jolt of pleasure down his spine.  And he heard Spencer let out a soft moan.  He watched as he could see the boy’s shoulder moving as he worked the toy between his legs.

 

“Open your eyes baby.  Look at me,” Derek said. “Imagine it’s me above you.”

 

Spencer’s eyes fluttered open, and he trained his half-lidded hazel eyes on him. 

 

The fantasy was working on Derek too.  He stroked himself as he watched Spencer press another kiss to the toy’s head. 

 

“Now, open your mouth.  Show me your tongue, Spencer,” Derek moaned.   

 

Spencer blushed, and his lashes fluttered.  Derek knew he wanted to look away, but he forced himself not to.  Spencer slowly opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out.  Without even having to be told, Spencer slowly licked up the length of the toy.  

“Jesus Christ,” Derek groaned out.  “Suck on it, Pretty Boy.  Please.” 

Derek couldn’t believe he was begging.  But this kid—this 21 year old _virgin_ —had him on the edge of blowing his load.   He was just that sexy. 

Derek watched as Spencer’s plump lips closed around the head of the toy and listened as Spencer let out a muffled moan as he shallowly pumped the toy inside his mouth.  His eyes had drifted shut, but Derek wasn’t going to chastise him.  He was actually worried that if Spencer maintained eye contact throughout the whole thing he’d be coming in seconds.  That would be embarrassing. 

“Turn the vibrator on,” Derek instructed, voice sounding strained to his own ears.    

Spencer’s brows furrowed at the command, but he shifted his hand and Derek knew he was turning the toy on.   And as soon as it kicked to life Spencer let out a surprised sound that devolved into a muffled moan around the toy in his mouth.  Derek could see Spencer’s eyes rolling beneath his lids and could hear that his breathing had picked up.  The toy had only been on for a few seconds before Spencer pulled his mouth away from the toy and let out a long breathy moan. 

“ _Shit_ ,” Spencer gasped. 

“Don’t stop,” Derek said.  “Angle it up.  Make sure you’re hitting your prostate, baby.” 

 

And as soon as he told Spencer to do that, Spencer let out a high pitched whine. 

 

“Ah!  Derek, I can’t… I need to come,” Spencer said as he made to put the dildo down.

 

“No, you’re gonna come just from this.  Trust me.  Keep sucking.  Take it as deep as you can,” Derek said.  “Just think of me.” 

 

Derek watched as Spencer began sucking on the toy in earnest.  Moaning around it every time he pushed the vibrator into himself.  And each time Spencer bobbed his head around the toy in his mouth, pulling it past his lips, it came back slick and glistening with his spit.  Spencer looked thoroughly debauched, with a thick dick in his mouth and his hand moving enthusiastically between his legs.  It was a sight that pushed Derek to the edge faster than he had ever gone before.

 

“Shit, baby I’m gonna come.  Shit.  I’m gonna come in your mouth.  I want you to swallow every drop, Spencer,” Derek groaned out as he began to stroke his cock frantically.

 

Spencer’s eyes flew open.  He moaned as he watched Derek, hips jerking on their own accord.  Derek looked on with hazy eyes as Spencer pushed the toy in his mouth in deep, lips stretched around it, like he was really trying to get every last drop.  Derek groaned loudly at the sight, and then he was coming, calling Spencer’s name.  Spencer cried out too, body tensing, and Derek watched as Spencer came, untouched, his come arcing up and hitting him in the chest in spurts. 

 

All was silent except for the sound of them both breathing raggedly as they tried to catch their breaths. 

 

“Oh my God,” Spencer said hoarsely, the first to speak. 

 

Derek watched as Spencer moved to turn off the vibrating toy that was still buried deep inside of him.  He flopped back down on the bed, still on his back as he stared up at Derek with a lazy grin on his face. 

 

“I feel like I should be really embarrassed that I just did that, but my brain isn’t working all that well right now,” Spencer said with a laugh.

 

Derek chuckled as he stared down at the beaming face of the boy he was very likely falling in love with. 

 

“You’re perfect, Spencer. Everything about you is, kid,” Derek said, no hint of teasing or playfulness in his voice.

 

Spencer’s eyebrows rose and he stared at Derek in surprise. 

 

Spencer opened his mouth to say something but a text came in on Derek’s phone and he asked Spencer to hold that thought as he read the message.  It was from Hotch.  He had just gotten a call from the police station.  Another woman had just been reported missing, and she had disappeared in a way similar to how their unsub was abducting his victims.  It was too close for them not to investigate immediately.  Derek glanced at the time on his phone.  It was almost 1am.  He hadn’t even slept yet that night.   

 

“Shit,” Derek said, as he looked at Spencer’s confused face on his screen.  “That’s my boss, babe.  There’s an emergency.  I gotta go.”

 

“Oh,” Spencer said, sitting up and looking at Derek worriedly.  “Is everything ok?” 

 

“No, I just… It’s fine.  I’m sorry to leave you hanging like this.  I’ll call you when I’m done with this case, alright?” 

 

“Ok, Derek.  Good luck,” Spencer said.  “And…good night.” 

 

Spencer gave him a sweet smile that made Derek’s heart squeeze in his chest. 

 

“Thanks, babe.  Have a good night,” Derek said as he hung up. 

 

As Derek scrambled to send a quick reply back to Hotch and rushed to the bathroom to make himself look more presentable, he couldn’t help but think he had fallen right back into the same habit he had told himself he was going to try to break with Spencer.  Spencer was irresistible to him.  But he wasn’t doing a very good job at showing Spencer that he was about _more_ than just the physical. 

 

Staring at his expression in the mirror, Derek promised himself he was going to do better next time. 

 

* * *

Two weeks later found Derek and Spencer video chatting on a lazy Sunday evening.  Spencer was one week away from graduating and they were talking about all the last minute things he had to do following his dissertation defense, and how Spencer found the whole system to be inefficient and illogical. 

 

Derek laughed, thinking that Spencer’s little miffed expression was adorable.  But he wanted to change the subject.  Spencer was getting himself all worked up.  Instead of being frustrated about all the hoops he had to jump through before he could get his degree, he should be thinking about what was on the horizon.  Namely, he was about to move to D.C. 

 

Derek had done a really good job—in his opinion—at fighting his urge to let any of the conversations he had had with Spencer in the last two weeks turn sexual.   He had tried to step up his game in showing more interest in Spencer’s life.  He learned about Spencer’s favorite foods (Indian was particularly high on the list) and favorite places to go around campus.  About his friends in his department and how much he had grown to love and depend on them, and how he was a little sad that he was graduating because he would have to leave them behind.  He had learned a lot more about Spencer’s childhood; what it had been like to be a child genius and graduate from high school at the age of 12.  He had learned about all the places Spencer wanted to visit once he graduated, and the things he wanted to do.  The kid had big plans, but Derek didn’t doubt he’d accomplish all of them. 

 

He had also learned, after a particularly long conversation where Spencer became unexpectedly emotional, that Spencer’s mother was unwell and living in a psychiatric care facility.  Apparently Spencer had never shared that with anyone before.  Derek had listened and reassured Spencer as the boy wept, wishing he could be there with him to comfort and soothe him.  But he was also proud that Spencer trusted him enough to share that secret with him.  It was a heavy burden to bear on his own.  And it had made the space in Derek’s heart that Spencer was occupying grow even more. 

 

“Calm down, Spencer,” Derek said, drawing the brunette’s attention back to him. 

 

“Focus on what’s important.  Like, what you’re going to be doing when you move in a week from now.  I think I need to say in advance that I’m going to need you to keep that first weekend you move free.  I wanna make sure I get penciled in before you get too busy to hang out with me,” Derek said, teasingly.  

 

Spencer’s brows furrowed, his lip pursing into a cute, confused, little “o.” 

 

“Like…. Um, should, I…? Is it, like a…” Spencer stuttered out.

 

“A date?” Derek offered, with a laugh.

 

Spencer blushed.  But it was obvious that was where he had been going with it.

 

“Yeah, let’s call it that,” Derek said, giving him a warm look.

 

Derek watched curiously as Spencer looked away and became even redder, the tips of his ears glowing in a blush. 

 

“Should I… um… Do you, you know, want me to… come to your apartment?” Spencer asked, softly.    

 

Derek paused. 

 

_Oh_.  He knew what Spencer was thinking.  He understood why Spencer was thinking that as well.  It was a conclusion Derek was hoping to avoid Spencer coming to.  That the expected resolution of this would immediately have to be _sex_. 

 

“Ah… let’s not do that so early on, ok?  How about lunch?  I know some great places we can try.  Even a great Indo-Chinese fusion place downtown,” Derek offered, carefully trying to redirect the conversation.    

 

But, Derek forgot that Spencer was a clever boy.  And he watched as Spencer frowned.

 

“You…” Spencer began, but then his brows furrowed again, as if he couldn’t quite figure out the way to word what he wanted to say.

 

He then let out a heavy sigh and met Derek’s eyes.

 

“You haven’t initiated… um… our… uh… “intimate” activities in a while, Derek…Well, two weeks and 4 days to be exact,” Spencer said, the frown coming back to his features. “Is this your way of telling me that you don’t want… That we can’t have _that_ type of relationship anymore?  That you…you just want to be friends?”

 

When Spencer said the last word his voice audibly broke and Derek sat up straighter, lips already parted and ready to assuage Spencer’s concerns, but Spencer pushed through, clearly not wanting Derek to interrupt him.

 

“Is it because _I’ve_ never initiated it?  That you’re always the one to do it and I’m not… um… ‘carrying my weight?’  Or… did I do something wrong?  Is it because I’ve been busy with school?  Or did you not like how I acted last time?  Did something change about me?  Do you just not like me anymore?  I-it’s ok if that’s the case.  I just… I just want to know,” Spencer said.

 

But even as he said that, he was looking away, shoulders hunched up around his ears, as if protecting himself against the blow he knew was coming.

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Pump your brakes, kid.  Don’t jump to any conclusions,” Derek said quickly.

 

But Spencer didn’t even seem to be listening.  It was as if he had already made up his mind and checking out was his defense mechanism. 

 

“Spencer, look at me,” Derek said, voice taking on a serious tone.

 

Spencer looked up, eyes wide and vulnerable.

 

“This… You got it all wrong.  Ok?  It was never my intention to make you think I wasn’t interested.  I’m doing this all _because_ I’m interested.  Because I’m trying to show you I’m serious, kid,” Derek said, letting out a sigh of frustration.

 

Spencer looked at him with confusion, like nothing he said was making sense.  Derek didn’t fault him.  He didn’t feel like he was making sense either. 

 

“Look,” Derek said.  “I was trying to pull back on all the hot and heavy stuff because I don’t want you to think that when you get here the first thing we’ll do is fuck.”

 

He watched as Spencer’s face heated up.

 

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to do that.  This is more than that.  And when we do finally do that, it won’t be _fucking_.  I’m going to make love to you, Spencer,” Derek said.

 

He watched as Spencer’s eyes widened. 

 

“That is- Uh, that’s only if that’s what you _want_ me to do,” Derek said, quickly.

 

“Wait… Derek what are you saying?” Spencer asked.

 

Derek sighed again.

 

“Kid, I’m trying to say I like you.  And I want to try to… I dunno… _date_ you?  See if this can go somewhere?  And I feel like we kind of skipped a couple of steps in the beginning,” Derek said with a self-conscious laugh.

 

Spencer was still gaping at him like a fish.  Derek knew he had said some pretty unexpected things, so he tried to lighten the mood.

 

“I mean, you can’t blame me, can you?  I had a hot, horny 21-year-old fall into my lap and I kind of started thinking with my dick,” Derek said as he winked at Spencer.

 

Spencer blushed, but that got a laugh out of him.  But then that look came back over his face—the look that Derek had learned over the past few months meant that Spencer’s gears (and Spencer had a _lot_ of gears) were furiously turning. 

 

“So… You said you want to…?  Um…‘date’ me?” Spencer asked carefully.  He said the word as if he wasn’t even sure he was allowed to.

 

Derek sighed.

 

“Yeah, kid.  I… This has been “something more” than just fun for me for quite a long time.  But I didn’t want you to get scared away.  And even now, I still don’t know what _you_ want.  If you just wanted this to be a fun experiment for you, or if you wanted to try seeing if it could be something more.  I’m fine either way.  I don’t want you to feel like you have to promise me anything more than what you’re comfortable with when you come here.  But…I just wanted to try to show you that I don’t see you as only one thing.  That you mean more to me than just how good we can get each other off,” Derek said. 

 

Spencer blinked dumbly.  Derek was afraid he had overwhelmed him with what he said.  And he started to worry that Spencer’s answer would really be that he didn’t want anything further with him. 

 

“Yes!” Spencer blurted out, face blossoming into a pink blush.  “I mean, absolutely.  I would love- I mean, it would be great.  I… I want that too.”

 

Spencer’s voice trailed off from his loud outburst into a soft almost-whisper at the end.  He looked embarrassed, but the look he was giving Derek was also one of earnestness.  He was _happy_. 

 

Derek grinned.

 

“I’m happy to hear that then,” Derek said winking at him. 

 

Spencer blushed.

 

“I mean to do this right, kid.  Ok?  I’m going to wine and dine you.  The whole nine yards,” Derek said. 

 

Spencer laughed and smiled fondly at him.

 

“Derek, you’ve already _got_ me,” Spencer said.  “Even though we haven’t even met in person yet, I feel as if I know you better than anyone else in my life.  I wouldn’t have… you know… been so _open_ with you if I didn’t feel like I could trust you; if I didn’t… you know… have _feelings._ You don’t need to do anything else.  I’m already yours.” 

 

Derek’s eyes widened as he listened to Spencer’s words.  The boy was blushing like mad, but he had said something that Derek had been waiting to hear for _months_.  He couldn’t put into words how happy that made him feel. 

 

“Well, if you’re mine then I’m going to spoil you.  So prepare yourself, Spencer.  The real deal is always better,” Derek said with a grin.    

* * *

A/N:  Ok, that is it!! There is an epilogue though!!  Let me know your thoughts on this chapter and then go read the epilogue!! xoxo


	11. Epilogue

A/N: Here’s the epilogue everyone!! Thanks so much for reading.  Please let me know your thoughts! :)

* * *

If someone had asked Derek Morgan in the past what the first thing that came to his mind when he thought of the phrase “cruel and unusual punishment” was, he would never have said “three weeks.”  But his recent experience the past three weeks taught him that that stretch of time could feel like _torture_. 

 

Derek had been excitedly anticipating Spencer’s move date, because just six days after that he was expecting to meet Spencer for the first time.  Go on their first date.  Touch him.  Hug him.  But two days before Spencer boarded his flight to D.C., he called Derek and told him that he had gotten his schedule for his job training and that he was surprised to discover that it would require him to be off site and that he was expected to be available all weekends in the first month.  He was apparently also told by the government agency that he was working for that he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about what he was doing or where.  

 

Even though that sounded awful to Derek, he couldn’t be unreasonable.  He also worked for the government.  He knew they tended to be ridiculous with security clearances and “classified” status.  And Spencer was low on the totem pole.  He wasn’t going to ask the kid to violate any rules—potentially putting his employment at stake—just to come and see him.  What was even more frustrating, however, was that Spencer wasn’t allowed to have his phone during the work day.  And apparently he shared a room with another trainee.  So all Spencer had been able to do was text him a few times at night.  The kid was always extremely tired, telling Derek that they had “run him ragged” the first day and even saying that he worried he wasn’t “cut out for it.”  Derek felt bad for him.  And while Derek felt sorry for himself, he had to refocus his attention on trying to keep Spencer’s spirits up.  

 

They had promised they would meet up at the end of the month, when the weekend ban was lifted.  Spencer had apologized profusely about the change in plans, and was sad that he was going to have to miss Derek’s birthday.  But he promised he would make it up to him.  Derek wasn’t worried about that though.  He just wanted to _see_ Spencer.  And the end of the month couldn’t come soon enough. 

 

In the meantime, to say Derek had become irritable would be an understatement.  Little things at work would annoy him for no reason.  He knew it was no one’s fault.  And no one knew he was secretly imploding because his “soon to be boyfriend” was in the same state as him for the first time, and he couldn’t even _see_ him. 

 

So, he wasn’t surprised when Garcia called him in to her office that morning to share some “agency gossip” and his reaction was a bit dramatic.

 

“We’re getting a new agent!” she whispered as soon as the door closed behind Derek.

 

Derek frowned.

 

“Excuse me?” he asked as he sat down.

 

“Yeah!  I just saw an interoffice memo that went out about it,” she said.

 

Derek raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“Ok… So I _intercepted_ it.  But it had to do with our unit, so I thought it was something important coming from the higher ups.  I didn’t know _Gideon_ had sent it,” she said in her defense.

 

Derek sighed.  That was the last thing he needed.  Often he didn’t find it hard to be a team player.  But he was also fiercely protective of his team.  So if someone was going to be added, it was important that there was careful vetting.  He was annoyed Gideon had added someone without even consulting the rest of them.  He could at least have given them a head’s up.  Derek wasn’t in the mood to deal with some big shot who had weaseled their way into the BAU because they wanted to use it as a stepping stone on their way up to a higher position in the DOJ. 

 

“So who did good ol’ Gideon arbitrarily decide to add to our ranks, huh?  I hope it’s not some “I don’t believe in teams” type again.  I mean, I love Rossi, but when he first got here it was impossible to work with that guy,” Derek said with a sigh. 

 

“Well, that’s what’s shocking!  It’s practically a _kid_!  Someone straight out of school who’s never worked in the field before,” Garcia said conspiratorially.  “He’s _21_.  I didn’t even think we took people that young!  He must have gotten special clearance.” 

 

Derek paused, a frown coming over his features.

 

“ _What_?” he asked.

 

“Yeah.  He’s some type of baby genius. IQ of 187, and he has a _ton_ of degrees.  Like we legit should call him “Doctor.”  He has his PhD; _three_ times over,” Garcia said as she waved a fluffy pen around in her excitement.  “Can you believe that?  Isn’t that cool?”

 

“No, it’s not “cool,” Derek said with a huff.  "I don't need someone who can quote statistics at me.  I need someone I know will be able to cover by ass when I'm out in the field and not let me get shot.  _That's_ what I need in a teammate."

 

He didn’t know what Gideon was thinking.  What the hell did they need someone with “a ton of degrees” for?   And he was 21?  The kid would likely piss himself the first time he was faced with an unsub.  This job wasn’t a joke. 

 

"Look, Chocolate Lava Cake, I get what you're saying.  And here's to hoping he'll be able to do that.  And if not, let's hope they leave him sitting behind a desk," Garcia said with a cringe.

 

Derek shook his head.  He did _not_ need this.  With his luck, they’d saddle _him_ with the newbie.  He knew how these things worked.  They liked to do the “big brother/big sister” system to acclimate new agents.  Hotch would probably want him to do it since he’d likely be able to toughen the little poindexter up.  JJ would be too motherly, and Emily would probably be too impatient. _Jesus_.

 

“Oh, don’t pout, beautiful.  You don’t need to start putting wrinkles on that gorgeous face,” Garcia said as she poked at his cheek with the tip of her pen.  “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know.  Gideon is going to announce it at the morning meeting.” 

 

Derek groaned.

 

“Well, thanks for putting me on alert, mama.  This is the last thing I need, but it’s better that it doesn’t blindside me,” he said.

 

Garcia frowned.

 

“You seem tense, sugar lumps. What’s been going on with you lately?” she asked.

 

Derek looked at her, considering if he should maybe come clean.  It’s not like she wouldn’t meet Spencer soon anyway.  Just as he was about to speak, there was a knock at the door.

 

“Enter!” Garcia called as she spun around in her seat to face the door.

 

JJ popped her head in.

 

“Hey, I was looking for you two,” she said as she glanced at Derek.  “The Monday meeting is about to start.  There’s a new agent I want you guys to meet first though.”

 

Derek cringed.  He was here _already_?

 

“Ooh!” Garcia said as she shot to her feet. 

 

She hurried past JJ in a blur of bright pink and purple.  JJ blinked in surprise and laughed.

 

“You coming, Morgan?” she asked as she held the door open.

 

Derek groaned as he pushed himself to his feet.

 

“I suppose so,” he said as he walked to the door.

 

JJ gave him a strange look but didn’t ask any questions as she followed him out.

 

When Derek made it down into the bullpen he took in the site of a skinny, tall guy with messy chestnut-brown hair, wearing what looked to be some type of ugly sweater vest and khaki pants.  His back was turned to them as he chatted animatedly with Garcia, Emily, and Rossi. Derek took in the site of him, sizing up his musculature. He was slender; all long limbs and fine bones. This guy probably had never run a day in his life.  He sighed.

 

“Derek, I’d like you to meet Dr. Spencer Reid.  He’s still in the training academy, but Gideon’s put in a request to pull him in as a consultant on this new case we have.  He’s not cleared for the field yet, but he’ll be a vital resource for us in terms of research and theory of the case,” JJ announced as she tapped on the agent in question’s shoulder.

 

When he turned around, Derek felt everything come to a screeching halt.

 

_Spencer_. 

 

It was _Spencer_.  _His_ Spencer. 

 

Spencer’s eyes widened to a comically large size.  The kid seemed like his brain had short-circuited.  Like he couldn’t process what was happening right now.  Derek was similarly floored but he was better at adapting to situations and taking in his surroundings. And right now, he could see the strange looks Emily, Rossi, Garcia, and JJ were giving them as they took in their reactions.  Derek did not want to explain how and why he already knew “Dr. Reid.” 

 

“Good to meet you,” Derek forced out as he stuck a hand out, hoping Spencer’s brain would go back online and he would shake the proffered hand. 

 

Another uncomfortable second ticked by before Spencer shifted into action, awkwardly reaching out to grab Derek’s hand.

 

When their skin made contact, Derek felt a spark shoot through his body.  He heard Spencer let out a small sound as he squeezed his hand.  Spencer had felt it too.  Derek held his eyes, Spencer’s still wide but showing so many emotions.  This was the first time they were touching.  Spencer was here.  It was _real_. 

 

Derek grinned at him and Spencer gave him a shy, blushing smile back.  Still feeling their coworkers’ eyes on them, Derek let go of Spencer’s hand, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do.

 

“BAU team, conference room, now,” Hotch called from upstairs. 

 

The group turned towards him and nodded. 

 

“Spencer, this will be your first case so you might be a little overwhelmed by all the information, but just let me know if you need help with anything,” JJ said as she placed a hand on his shoulder again and smiled at him.  “We’re really happy to have you join the team.” 

 

“Thanks JJ,” he said, smiling shyly.

 

Everyone began walking toward the conference room, but Derek lingered behind a bit so that he could walk next to Spencer.   

 

When he was sure no one was paying attention he leaned over, making sure Spencer could feel the heat of his breath on his ear as he whispered, “You’re coming home with me after work tonight, Pretty Boy.”

 

He then walked past Spencer, leaving him standing there eyes wide and face red. 

 

Suddenly, Derek realized that apparently all the odds had been in their favor right from the start. 

* * *

A/N:  Eep! So there we have it! The fic is over!   Thank you so much for sticking with me with this fic over the last year!!  I know the updates were kind of spotty, and for that I apologize! I’ve really appreciated everyone’s wonderful and thoughtful comments!  It was so nice to hear you enjoyed this fic (and please, let me know your final thoughts as well! :3).  I know I didn't give you guys any end porn (D:), and for that I’m sorry, haha.  After thinking about it, it didn’t feel natural to me.  They have so much time ahead of them to “explore” their relationship now that they can finally do so in person.  And, for that, you can feel free to use your imaginations ;p. 

Thanks so much for a great ride!  (And Happy Holidays!! :3)

xoxo


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